When Life hangs in the Balance...

[Deleted]

she followed his finger as he pressed it between her brows.. it made her smile.. even laugh a little as she shook her head.. she didn't even realise she was pulling that face.. let alone the emotion behind it.. -.. She is a lovely woman yes.. a very good friend.. I enjoy her company.. she is not my companion no, I am not looking for a companion.. I have enough on my plate right now .. I will pass on the offer from Mother about the physician.. I have no doubts that there would be a place for Jacob if he was interested.. they are both incredibly talented.. so much skill for those that are still quite young.. its remarkable.. and shows great restraint and drive.. but in any rate I will talk to her in the morning.. and then we will move off from there.. -they spoke a little about Gia being in Silverthorn -.. Well I know she is there to negotiate new terms.. new contracts.. Adelaide was very hospitable.. she was placed in one of the suites.. its where I settled for a time before I came to you.. unsure what really to expect.. an estate of this size though.. certainly not.. its quite beautiful.. though very.. boxy.. -the surface dwellers liked to box everything in.. made everything feel a lot more cramped than it should have been-.. She will be ok there.. I know she is being kept busy.. she tends to wander at night.. But.. I know.. the two of us can get her back .. I am sure of it.. -the bombshell dropped them that she knew he was her Father.. and the relationship he had with Gia.. that they were siblings.. but she wouldn't judge.. not in the slightest.. she knew they were happy.. they were content.. they were more in love than anyone she had ever come across.. and it was so So heart warming to witness it in action.. Goddess be warned for any young male even attempting to court her.. she knew what love looked like.. there was some very high standards to be met..she left him with the letters.. the last will and testaments from Chaka.. with words that she would come see him in the morning.. offering him a smile as she slipped out quietly.. back toward her chambers where she would topple down into her trained reverie.. the trip here was long and all consuming.. she needed to replenish.. she needed to recharge.. and this was the easiest way to do it..





Being busy was an under statement.. distraction was her best friend whilst she was in Silverthorn.. the meetings she had held with Adelaide were long and time consuming.. but she was thankful for that for a few reasons.. this would all end up being for the betterment of her House.. of her Home.. and she needed that foundation to be unbreakable.. she was going to layer in the supports.. one by one.. build it up before anything was set in stone.. the best part of it all though was that she got to spend time with Anya .. her daughter meant a lot to her.. family was important.. and she'd lay her own life on the line to save her own blood.. she used the time in her chambers to tell Anya everything.. honesty was on the menu.. it was all laid out on the table.. everything.. but most of all about her Father.. her daughter deserved to know about Thaylan.. and what a beautiful and wonderful person that man was.. it all went better than she could have expected.. Anya took it extremely well.. and even appeared excited to go and see her Father.. which.. as it happened worked out perfectly.. She needed to see Rose.. to have that physical.. to get everything checked out but she could not bring herself to go back into that estate.. not again.. not ever.. so she sent her daughter along to have a talk with Rose when she was able.. that and to collect her Father.. it would give those two a chance to catch up.. to learn a little more about one another.. they had so much to catch up on.. so very much.. the letter took her by surprise.. a pleasant surprise that chased away the rattles and ghost echos.. but what it contained ..well she wasn't quite prepared for that.. penning a reply quietly


My dearest love

I do miss you terribly, I am sorry that I had to leave so suddenly, I just felt the weight of it was becoming extraordinarily large and It was becoming a struggle to breathe.. I am thankful for you, that you understand.. but regardless do know that I long to see your face.. soon..


Please Brother tell me you are able to organise some kind of map from him, or something..I understand that he has been put in control of the properties and the revenue of Mothers estate.. but this makes things so much more difficult.. I fear my reaction.. when I lay eyes upon him once more.. Im not sure I am ready for that.. which is selfish of me to say.. I know. My people deserve better and.. we can not rebuild..without that land.. I might struggle.. please love.. help me so stay strong..


So far negotiations here with Adelaide are going well, the family seems to be going through a slightly uncomfortable spot at the moment with Aeson taking his leave.. but I will fill you in on everything when you arrive.


I look forward to seeing you soon Brother, I hope I didn't blind sight you too much with Anya appearing upon your doorstep.. We had much to talk about and I felt it time to explain everything.. she was so looking forward to speaking with you and I sincerely hope that the meeting you both had went well.. I am sorry I wasnt there.


Please travel safely..I long to feel you in my arms again


Your soon to be wife

Gia

xx

[Deleted]

he tilted his head when she ducked and rolled like she was avoiding incoming gun fire.. his hand rose .. rubbing across his chin as he laughed a little.. Oh she was embarrassed.. he didn't mean to startle her.. she had left him a note to meet him in the kitchen.. so.. well.. he was doing just that.. the fact that he walked in on her playing a little make believe.. well.. it was adorable.. cute even.. but her worries and concerns about her appearance ..well those needed to be settled.. he caught her.. holding her there as she uttered quietly that he wasn't meant to see it.. -.. mhmm.. You're utterly adorable when you blush.. do you know that?.. -he shot her a wink as he moved into the kitchen properly.. asking if she needed any help.. he would get those buns out of the oven for her.. they were just out of reach but for him he had no issues.. the pot holders upon his hands..placing the hot metal tray down upon the wooden boards before he closed the oven.. he would make sure to be out of her way as she dotted around.. adding this to that.. and that to this.. little pieces of mint and broken crackers.. there was berries and fruit.. cream and cake.. he settled across from her when it was all set up.. he had mentioned Sydel coming back around.. waking up a little earlier than was expected..

he picked up the cup of tea to begin with.. taking a small drink as he listened to her concerns.. her worries.. -.. mm..Im not sure whats going to happen.. from here.. I wont say Im entirely comfortable with the whole affair.. but then again.. realistically.. the idea that one soul could exist between two bodies permanently was .. well.. a bit of a pipe dream.. Im glad it did for as long as it did.. dont get me wrong.. but.. unfortunatly.. long term -he exhaled as he put his tea cup down atop its saucer-.. it was doomed to fail.. if Sydel is going to go through some changes.. well.. I can hope.. and pray to the goddess that it is a smooth transition.. without too much to give her grief.. she needs a break.. she's been barely hanging on by a thread for far to long.. the heart beat is a positive.. it really is.. whenever I have had her hooked up before it was always so shallow.. so faint.. it was hard to measure at times.. but this.. was akin to normal.. strong and regular.. -he took a spoonful of the fruit and cream then.. settling back in his seat-.. Im sure she will be up and about today.. possibly tonight.. Ill make sure one of the nurses takes in a wheelchair for her.. I dont want to see her over doing it.. -he was surprised to hear that Anya had come up.. -.. Oh?.. well thats all very intriguing..You will have to let me know how that goes.. I will go and do a quick check in on little Slywyn .. make sure all is well.. though Its really just routine.. that baby was incredibly strong.. her charts were So good.. You did incredibly well love.. Im so proud of you..

-he offered her a smile.. he wondered what she was going to get up to.. the weather looked.. well.. it could go either way.. whilst the sun appeared to be quite beautiful.. he was sure he could see storm clouds on the horizon.. but that wasn't necessarily a bad thing.. -..I have a few things I need to do here.. and in the surgery.. I know I have to meet with Nautilous at some point.. to see if I can fix this eye problem he has.. so Ill probably talk to him about that soon.. Good Doctors work is never done..But I hope to have some free time for my favourite angel this afternoon.. if she could pencil me in.. -he reached across to slide a wayward golden curl back behind her ear.. tracing a few fingers along the curve of her jaw with a smile.. -.. We could meet up down by the lake.. maybe an afternoon tea kind of thing.. I dont want to say lunch in case I do get caught up with things in the surgery.. but.. by all accounts I should be well and truly free by mid to late afternoon.. Want to have a little lake side date?.. maybe take a swim if the weather holds up?.. otherwise we could do it indoors here.. I dont mind.. so long as I get to spend some time with you lovely..-he would down the remainder of that tea.. the buns were sweet and beautifully spice filled.. the fruit crisp and tart.. it was a perfect mixture of all the nicest things without it being too much.. especially after yesterday.. he had thanked her for breakfast.. and told her again not to worry about how she will look pregnant or after.. that is was a non issue.. he would love her till he took his final breath.. he would head back up to his room and take that quick shower.. slipping out of those fun fair scented clothes.. those oddly torn jeans.. and back into something a bit more neat casual.. black slacks and a fitted white shirt.. he would pop in on garafin and Taru.. taking baby Sylwyn down into one of the offices.. for a check up.. just routine.. weights.. measurements.. and he wasn't about to deny he was enjoying being able to hold a wee little one again.. it had been a while.. -

[BadInfluence]

Honestly he didn't feel like the whole child thing was entirely her fault. If he had known she felt that way... If what? The fact was even if he did know she felt that way what could he do about it? Say about it? It's not your fault? She obviously felt it was. It doesn't happen all the time- Well it did to them outside of Aysil and Aysil had only come about due to magical intervention, legitimately Khorn had made that baby stay alive and come to term, and Jacob?... Jacob had made it but died during birth so they didn't even have a set mode to go off of and that was just a sad fact. Two children, a boy and a girl, that was what she had given the world... But look at them? Beautiful, smart, vivacious and dedicated... They were both children who changed the world where ever they stepped. So what if she couldn't have children like other women? Other women produced some pretty big fuck ups on the regular... Look at him... At least the children she had given birth to were incredibly unique, one of a kind and well above the norm, there were much worse things to have done with your body and your time...

Still he tried to calm her, to be a support for her but the fact that despite her clinging to him she didn't feel secure, she didn't feel stable? Yeah... Talk about crayon on a damned construction paper cut out... Neither of them could handle being completely honest with each other right now and this was supposed to be love? All he did lately was hurt her... All she had done in her past was hurt him. They had a tally long enough to circle the world a dozen times and this was somehow supposed to work? To be healthy? At this point where could they go? There was no where in any universe they could live and be good for each other, he'd always feel slighted by his brother, by not having her whole heart. She'd always struggle with trying to be something that wasn't herself because that was what she thought he wanted. They were fucked up. Period. Royally, completely, utterly fucked up. He explained the rest of it, Dio's baby having died and then yes, the truth about him and Gia. He had originally planned to lie about it all, keep it going on the sly, wait for the right moment to sneak out... But at this point why bother? Facts were facts and he knew from Thaylan that he had ruined his chance with Gia and this? Was ruining any chance he had left with Sydel.

If she felt she was unfit to be a mother, he was unfit to be a husband, a partner or a father.

Trying his best to make the situation more tolerable, honey versus salt in the wound he tried to explain that this was not her fault, all of this lied quite squarely on his own shoulders and no one else's. He wanted her to try and get back the future with Diovan that she should have had before he fucked up all their chances on a spiteful whim. The comments she made though, they weren't right but they weren't wrong, she had made good points but that didn't make it easier to explain or respond to... "Not quite... I know what I have to do and it involves me leaving behind everyone to live on my own... Find out who I am supposed to be without someone influencing me the whole time. I've never been my own man and it's time I find out who that person is." Did she think he was running off with Gia? Hardly. It would have been so much easier, much happier for several people involved if that were the case but no, that door he had slammed on his own head without realizing it in his naive stupidity. "I did and you're right, I arranged it with Hanali because I thought I could get over, I thought between the four of us I could figure it out but I couldn't. It just gets worse the more I'm around him and he feels the same. He blamed me for everything wrong that has happened... And he's right." Dare he?... Wouldn't hate be better? If she could hate him it would be clean and hot, a searing of the wound versus a slow, agonizing process of time... This was killing him, tearing his heart to ribbons then shreds, from shreds to particles until there was nothing left...

He let his head fall back for a minute, swallowing that lump and wiping the tears from his face, dragging his hands through his hair roughly as he struggled with it all... How easy to stop this all and beg forgiveness... To let her slide back into his heart but if he did... She'd just die there among the wreckage. He was not a habitat fit for love... Nor did he deserve it. "We were... And maybe we might have been something so much healthier if I hadn't been the devils advocate... Before I go you need to know something..." He said, pulling away a bit because he knew within seconds his touch to her would become revolting and unbearable. "The night of that ball when you and Diovan danced for the first time?... It wasn't Diovan you danced with... It was me. He was the white gold stag but I was the golden one you danced with, I was the one you kissed, and I was the one who would have taken you home... Just to spite Diovan I would have been Jacobs real father and none of this would have happened to you." And he had thought about it... He had thought about it HARD... Would have done it too if Caela wouldn't have stepped in and Diovan took his place, the two dancing into the night after Garafin laid Ace out on his ass and sent him packing, well so to speak...

"Caela pulled me to the side and had me find your brother when she saw that Ace had failed to take you from Diovan. Diovan took you home and made Jacob with you but the reason he didn't come back was because of me. I beat your brother to a pulp and left him for dead and Diovan had been caught by Caela who begged him for help to save your brother... Saying she would finally give him permission to marry you if he did this thing for her..." It was no easier to say than it was to remember, these memories hidden so deep he had forgotten them himself, imposed amnesia for no other reason than guilt... "So he did... He saved your brother but in that span Ace had swooped in and poisoned you and then stole you off to the surface where Diovan didn't know where to find you or how... Caela told everyone you had ran off with Ace to explore the surface and have a grand adventure, I supported it before I too left, resuming my life back on the surface..." And once he was free he had tried to find her and make up for what he had done but by the time he had? She was already dead and bleached out, made a Bride and full of nothing but hatred and spite, something he embraced because he felt he deserved it and after a while... He'd come to love the venom she pumped into his veins, the hate fucking and the rage, the fighting... It drove him insane and all reason and memory of much of his past had been lost...

"Goodbye, Sydel... If you need me, call... Our link will always be open on my end... No matter what happens. Try... Try and live a new life... Give yourself the chance I stole from you and my brother... Find the happiness I could never give you and have all the children you were meant to have with him... In time... I'll just be a memory... A sad shadow in your mind." He stood and leaned down, pressing a kiss to her temple even as his tears fell on her cheek, a shuddered breath and a whisper so soft it was almost impossible to hear. "You will Always be my Princess..." And with that he rose and turned away, walking out the door on silent feet before he'd close it behind him, telling the staff to keep a close eye on her and to NOT let her out of their sight for a single second. Not one. Putting her on something like a suicide watch...

Once out he was surprised that Thaylan found him and had a handful of letters to give him, figuring the two of them would not see each other again ever, the words that had been said between them were pretty finite... Two letters... One a will and testament from Chaka Navare that nearly had him drop the son of a bitch like it was a damned snake, the other a letter from the same woman, five he had picked up from the Staff on his way here that had his jaw just sort of hanging slack. What the fuck was WITH today?! He felt beyond drained and yet he still had so much to do. He sighed and nodded his head, ready to walk away before Thaylan caught his hand and he stumbled just a bit, shocked at the warmth in the hold there... The two of them would then head to his suite where he'd begin to pack between reading the letters, pinching the bridge of his nose as he tried to focus on something, anything that wasn't spinning... Honestly he wanted to say he was shocked but he wasn't, not about Ace's, he had figured that it all might be something of a bit too much for him to handle. Ace was... A rogue, a wanderer, he belonged to the world and no one place... That meant any woman he was with had to have the same temperament and mentality, totally not queen material which meant Ace? Could never actually be happy. Rose was special but she was more than Ace could handle in his age, the world had jaded him far too much to understand that someone could be both innocent and yet completely depraved and exist in the same body, and that was no one's fault. It just wasn't meant to be, for while the love was there, that's the only thing that was compatible between the two and it would make for an absolute shit marriage that would dissolve into regret and remorse for the rest of their lives.

He asked Thaylan to deliver the letters to Rose and Jacob, to Sydel and Diovan, he... He had a lot to fucking process in the facts of the Will and the release of a spellus, everything in his head feeling like it was about to explode as he was violently sick over a basin for the better part of an hour. How many years?... About fifteen or so... Maybe a little more... Chaka had bought him and his services down in the Dark, bringing him to an abandoned castle in the earth, massive and imposing if not a little terrifying but beautiful... She'd raped him frequently because with her? He was no willing partner and she'd figured it out soon enough, poisoning him and drugging him, stripping him down to less than a slave... She'd fucked with his head and his body, pushed him to the limits only to break them and drop him like a rock, and this went on for an entire year... He'd been trapped in that place, locked down by collar and chain, his only companions were the spiders and books... He read everything in that place, every bit of lore and family history, the webbing of their family versus the tree of others... Who was related to who, who went where, who was the rightful heir of this or that family name... It stretched for ever and ever on, discovering every mystery and hidden family skeleton, he knew it all...

Something Chaka couldn't afford him to know and therein lie part of the spellus... It blocked the memory of the information gained in that time, but she had gone a bit too far, she went so deep she kicked out the entire memory of Sybelle, Diovan and even River... Years of his life were flooding back with the help of the drugs from last night and now this, the last piece, the key in the lock had been turned... He was not ready for this... Any of this. Not now, not today when he had already pushed himself so far... But there he was, once again dropped down to the very bottom and having no way to crawl out, only to curl up in the dark... "Damn you Llolth you eight legged bitch-" He groaned as he held his head between his hands as if he could keep it from exploding by pressure alone. It wasn't until Thaylan had returned to him that he had stopped puking, feeling the cool cloth across his forehead, the warm hand stroking over his back... Thaylan was still kind to him... But why?... He was then shown Gia's note and he forced himself to sit up and move to the desk, writing out a note to her himself, brief and in Drow... Which, now? Yes... Oh yes he spoke, read and wrote it almost better than Gia herself.


" Gia,

Ka usstan gumash belbau dos natha mapat'drachim usstan orn'la jhal usstan shlu'ta naut. Gaer zhah nau mapat'drachim wun nindol aglust d'lil tresk'ri, gaer phu' nau ikkask k'lar, lil' k'lar zhah rin'ov ul'mubar lueth endar. Dosst ilhar lueth ilta quellarin zhahen built pholor lil' rath de' natha hiran orbb nindel dron deeper wun lil' har'dro, lil' quellarin lueth lil' thac'zilen bauth ol mir't reztorm a endar in'owail de' cress.

(If I could give you a map I would but I can not. There is no map in this part of the world, there are no telling location, the place is ever moving and different. Your mother and her castle were built on the back of a giant spider that lives deeper in the earth, the castle and the lands around it pulled along by different pieces of web.)

Chaka morfel uns'aa vlos yvalm ulu ol ji usstan gumash neitar sevir lil' quellarin, usstan satiir ol vel'drav ol mumbaroe, usstan zhaun vel'klar ol zhah aluin jhal usstan shlu'ta naut k'lar folt natha klez pholor natha mapat'drachim. Dorn plynn dos gaer lueth t'yin dorn valbyl dos ulu ol zil chaka yvalm uns'aa lueth t'yin dorn sevir dos lueth dosst fuma wun gre'as'anto. Dorn nau velendev maunech dos xuil ussta ssinssrigg xor ussta ser'lech. Qualla ori'gato uns'aa zhaun vel'drav dos phuul kr'athin ulu sevir whol f'sarn aluin tarthe dal lil' shinduago tresk'ri mufo lueth orn tlu maunin lil' huthin stath drasven wun mezzoberanzan.

(Chaka made me blood bound to it so I could never leave the castle, I feel it when it moves, I know where it is going but I can not place such a thing on a map. I will take you there and then I will bind you to it as Chaka bound me and then I will leave you and your family in peace. I will no longer burden you with my love or my stupidity. Please let me know when you are ready to leave for I am going away from the surface world tomorrow and will be spending the next few years in Mezzoberanzan.)

Nautilous.[/b][/font]

And with that he would hand the letter back to Thaylan to write what ever he wished as well before it would be sent back to her. For himself? He had more packing to do but for right now he had a certain young man he had to say goodbye to and hope... Beyond all hope... That he forgave him and understood what was going on and why he had to leave...

It took him a minute to find Jacob in all honesty, he was glad that at least he wasn't in the medical wing, he was NOT ready to venture into that place ever again. The spare eye locked in an ever frozen orb was in his pack that hung over his shoulder, packed full of the things that were vital to his travels, things to barter for finances and non-descript travel clothes... His bow and a fetch of arrows and a journal to keep track of the things he remembered or certain events that needed jotted down... When he found the son of his heart he saw that he was checking up on the latest little addition and his heart fucking churned in his chest... Sydel had lost a child, their child, but Gia... Gia might be pregnant with his daughter as he watched this tiny little white haired angel get measured out... Wondering if Aysil ever looked like that... "She's too cute to be Garafin's..." He said with a warm laugh as he stepped into the office and closed the door behind him, setting the pack down to the side before he'd step in closer, looking at that wonderfully tiny little bundle... He hadn't seen a baby in years and years so this was... Well a treat... "I hate to barge in but there's something you need to know and I really... Can't explain it too well right now... Just... You're mom and I have been through a lot of shit for a while now and... We've gotten to the point that we're masters of making it look good from the outside but on the inside... We've been struggling for a while. After the death of our daughter I just... I can't do it anymore... We're separating and I've... Encouraged your mother to go with Diovan and try to rebuild what they should have had... Anyways... You can always find me, just write me a letter and I'll keep in touch just... I won't be in one place much, I plan on just wandering for a while, dropping off the radar and off the grid but... I want you to know no matter what goes on between your mother and I... I will ALWAYS love you Jacob, you are the son of my heart and the joy of my soul, and if you ever need me I will always be there." What more could he say? He was just waiting for the other shoe to drop but he had to say goodbye in person... He couldn't just leave with a note... He knew why Ace did it but he was made of different stuff... Plain and simple...

[BadInfluence]

"Oh no, little one I did not mean it that way, I simply mean as someone you would confide in. I have been on the surface for many a years, companion takes on the meaning of many things, forgive me." He said with a smile though with that alone he also knew his daughter had yet to know what occurs between two adults, wondering just how his sister had managed to keep her from exploring that venue, as it was he and Gia had pounced each other as soon as they were alone as young teenagers in heat... Very, very curious indeed! "Though... Do not allow yourself to become too busy, it is so easy to put pleasure and fun on the far end of the pool and keep yourself occupied in the shallows, if you do then you'll never learn to swim... So to speak." Everything in moderation after all though if all Anya had ever seen of her mother with men was Valkryn then he could far too easily understand why Anya would show little to no interest in anything remotely physical or emotionally involved. Bless her sweet heart he sincerely hoped she might find something else someday but... Not just yet. He was only just getting a chance to get into the role of Father, he was in no rush to be replaced by another man in her heart, he planned on owning that number one spot for some time.



"We are used to things with curves, even the lines of the webs are slightly bowed but these humans, they prefer things with straight lines or oddly shaped openings... It does not allow for terribly good air flow but it has it's own... Charm." The sunlight was nice if you could handle it such as he could... The curtains were something pretty to be sure... And the fireplaces were very novel and unique but... Over all the lines were quite harsh and he could never really adjust to them, for while he had spent the second half of his life on the surface, all his formative years had been spent in caves which held the shape and smell of nature in them. "Adelaide is a good woman who has become very strong through the trials in her life. I respect her and I am sure your mother and she might have a few things in common if they allow themselves to see it. But that aside I do worry about her wandering..." Gia could defend herself yes but that didn't make it any easier to bear by any means. He didn't like the idea that she might come to harm, as it stood she was a Drow on the surface, many and most would hold things against her just based on her skin color alone... "We will indeed little tadpole, we will indeed. Soon enough." He said before things developed further...



Finding out she was aware of him as her father was wonderful and warm, it opened a door he feared he might never be able to cross over, her happy acceptance of it despite the close blood ties meant the world to him. Rather than be ashamed or worried she instead seemed simply joyful that all was well between her parents, their love was strong, and that? To her? Was all that mattered. Soft words and embraces were shared before she would go to take her sleep and he would pen that letter off to Gia in hopes that perhaps it brought her a little intrigue and a peace on his part. Her letter back though found him just as he was waking up the next morning, a bit of a smile on his face as he yawned and stretched, feeling the aches and pains of his injuries but no where near as bad as they might have been without the pain medication. As soon as he opened the letter he smiled if only for the first three words she wrote, but as he read on he knew she was struggling, things were going on in her heart that he was not able to alleviate... He could only try to help but he could not take it away... Her request was justified and he would make sure to go and see Nautilous first thing and perhaps arrange something of the sort, filing that away as he read on and he wondered just what her fears were, what were real and what she only thought were real... Was she afraid she would show rage? Anger? Sadness? Or was she afraid that she could not harden her heart against him and that upon seeing him once more she would fall again? What was her fear? The reasoning behind it? He thought about penning her a letter then and there but figured it might be best to wait to get a hold of Nautilous first, leaving his room to go and find the man, to try and see just... Well... Suffice to say that there was a lot going on and... Very little time to process...



Finding Nautilous to deliver the Will and then of course the final letter had gone off rather startling, he'd never seen the man scared before but seeing letters from Chaka had made that tan skin paler than paraffin, like he'd seen a ghost but he managed through it alright... The favor was asked and he had no issue delivering the letters for him, from what he could sense of the situation Nautilous had just severed the first of many ties around him and he could only imagine how rocky, how raw and vulnerable he must feel at the moment. Delivering them was easy though, each one had it's host and he delivered them with warmth and compassion, lending an ear if someone needed it for instance... It was the one he delivered to Sydel though that broke his heart... He knew she was raw and hurting and despite it all, she was still very much his friend, a very good and close one where he would have done much to spare her pain. "I can not say anything in this moment that could possibly alleviate your pain although I would wish to do so as much as one can... All I can say is that I promise he will be safe and I will keep you informed if you wish... I will come and visit you as often as I can so please... Do not take this as an end... Not really... You must close the covers on one fairy tale to start another... This is just a new start... That is all..." What more could he say? Very little in truth and that simply was what it was... He left the note by her bedside with a small recording on it that would translate it for her, knowing she could not read he made sure that it was accessable to her, would play back as often as she needed it to...



Once that was done he went to go find Nautilous once more and it was when he found him again, curled over a waste basket and puking his guts out and he, he just held him there... Cool cloth over his forehead to wipe the sweat away, the other soothing up and down his back as he knew it was hard, this sort of thing was like surgery without pain medication... Severing a limb without anything to numb the pain. He had thought to pen her back right away but instead he thought of something else... Showing Nautilou's Gia's letter and allowing him to write his own back, sending it off for him before he'd send his own off with it, nothing quite as reliable as spider mail without a doubt... He'd guide Nautilous to the bathroom to take a long soak as he'd settle down to write a reply himself, keeping an ear out in case their love decided to drown himself, Goddess knew more than a few would not handle what he had just done...





"My Dearest Heart,



I fully expect a good beating when I see you again and I look forward to it with much excitement. I realize showing him your letter was the height of audacity but it does serve a purpose I promise, one I hope we will see soon, if possible at least. The poor child is hurting but he soldiers on despite the battle wounds. It's sad and beautiful in it's own way, a wounded wolf in the snow, damaged but stalwart... I think he took our words in a way we did not expect, not that he misunderstood him but rather he put them into immediate action, he wasted no time in realizing the wisdom to be found and that was incredibly brave...



From what I read and understand my sweet sister there is no way to avoid any of this, we must all come together once more, but this time you can chose how you face him... But let me ask... Are you sure that what you felt before was the... Best thing? I think we may have judged him too harshly and thought his words were simply face value... He has put words into action, he has done exactly what he promised to do, and perhaps... We might wish to... Reconsider? I defer to you in all things my love, your heart is yours to know and feel, only you can tell which is the right way to proceed. It is my honor and my joy to serve you in all things and what ever course you pick I will surely follow happily behind you. I simply feel that, like a spider in her web, we might have to rework some threads to perfectly suit the habitat we find ourselves in. There is no shame in changing your mind, it simply means one has become better educated, has seen the situation in a different light and has grown from it...



Do not apologize for the gift of our daughter on my doorstep, it was the sublime joy of my evening and a pleasure unknown to me before, she is everything and more. You did so very well at raising our little girl, she is smart and kind, wise but innocent as well. How ever did you manage to keep her pure this long? You and I were already pawing each others clothes off at her age it's a wonder she is still pure. Does she wish to save it for marriage, I wonder? For she would not need to once we are re-established again. Indeed as I recall it's rather old fashioned to come to bed without having enjoyed pleasure once or twice, puts quite the amount of pressure on the man to perform properly, and sometimes the event is so poorly the marriage bed is soured for months... And now I realize, some lines in, that I am discussing our daughters sex life or lack there of and I find myself suddenly and acutely embarrassed. What a strange feeling! Is it like this often? Being a parent? I hope you will teach me much as we travel along, I have much to learn to be a good father, and I can not wait to start.



I await to see you, to hold you, to kiss you... My fingers feel so empty without your hand to hold... Promise me when we are together my sweet sister that you will use me? I fear we have not had a chance to properly join since meeting up again, the events have been quite hurried or very drug fueled, I long to lay beneath you once more and serve your pleasure...



I await your venom kiss, my precious twin.



Your Betrothed,


Thaylan Auvryda"

[BadInfluence]

True she definately had asked him to come down and meet her for breakfast but she honestly didn't think the timing would line up like that. She figured she had more than enough time to set the plates up, bring out the hot cross buns, every bit of that before he'd come in... NOT come in right in the middle of her moment of self-doubt dress up. She was sure most any woman that wasn't a stunner like Gia and Sydel likely had moments where she felt like an utter cow, udders and all when they were pregnant, she didn't think she'd have it in her cards to do the same. Being utterly caught out in the middle of it though, complete with hearing her self dialogue yeah, she could have died right there and then as she ducked out of sight and tossed the apron, hoping to divert his attention before she ran past him only to be caught up... Red faced and all... "I'm a tomato when I blush!" She'd seen her reflection before once in class, dealing with a case of sudden priaprism in the middle of a case study she had turned red from head to chest and the whole class had teased her about it, saying she was aptly names a Rose because she sure wore the color well. "Still... Pretend you didn't see that." She asked before she'd finally look up and kiss his cheek, setting him to his core to help her while she flittered about like a humming bird in the kitchen, setting breakfast up for them before they'd sit down and talk turned to a more pertinent and serious nature.



"I didn't know it was a soul? I thought it was simply a conscious transfer? Like a mental mapping that was copied and implanted in a blank slate. To be honest I'd never seen magic or medical do what ever that was and I don't think it should have ever been attempted in the first place." There were just some things that went against the Hippocratic oath and nothing about that entire situation had been right or fair to anyone. Yes, she understood the why of it, but just because you understand something doesn't mean you should do it... Understanding does not equal control... Understanding does not equal mastery or Doctors would never have a patient who died on the table. "I just... I want to see her smile. She's really something special, she's got this soft heart she hides under a good hundred layers of armor, doesn't want anyone to see it. She's my friend... What ever she goes through we'll be here for her." But what ever it was? That was going to be found out later on...



"Sylwyn? That's her name? It's so pretty... I will check in on them later, I barely got to see the little thing before the nurses got her and then she was taken to Taru. Girl has a world on her plate..." And oh... Oh man what a world it was going to be... Three babies all under two years old, she didn't have any mercy for Garafin, she had a feeling that chaos was going to be his sailors delight. Their breakfast was warm and filling but not heavy, just sweet enough to start the morning off on a good note, her lips curling into a smile as she leaned into that touch. "It's getting easier the more I do it. One day I'll be over that hump but for now... Still gets to me after the act is done but it's progress." She'd catch his hand and kiss his palm as he explained that he had a bit of a busy day ahead and she was more than fine with that, she herself had a few things to look to, this sort of busy scheduling something that was a bit normal for them both. "That sounds wonderful... The weather looks a bit iffy personally I agree, it's a little too warm for this hour, feels like a storm is brewing on the back..." She said, rolling a berry about in the bottom of her bowl, she had eaten quickly as was her habit since she rarely had time for leisure before now... Got to learn, right? Plus where was Ace? She figured she might go and look for him between the times and if she couldn't find him... Well... Then she might get worried. "How about we go star watching if the night is clear? Remember doing that on your balcony back home? We'd curl up under that rug with dinner, just watching the constellations come to life, I'd tell you the surface name for them and you'd tell me the elvish and the stories behind them..." If they were lucky it would rain but then clear out and the sky would looking that much clearer for it. She'd kiss his cheek warmly as he told her not to worry about pregnancy and she just laughed, pinching his butt as he walked by her, a shrug to her shoulders with a wink. She told him she did have to run by with Anya for a bit before all else but she'd check up with him for lunch and make sure he at least ate if the day became busier than they thought it might get.



She'd clean up a bit before she'd head back to her room and change, just missing him as he was leaving down the other way, blowing him a kiss as she disappeared into their suite. She was just about to get undressed when there was a gentle tapping on her door, a letter delivered by Thaylan no less, her brows curved in a bit. She didn't know what to expect but when she opened the letter it didn't matter... Even if she had known what to expect it still would have gutted her anyways. She'd thank Thaylan then, telling him to go and rest, get off his feet before she drugged him up and tied him to a hospital bed... A light tease but it seemed to settle his worries about her and he left her in private. She'd strip out of her clothes, bangles on the counter, his ring... She'd worked really...Really hard on it... She felt... Really betrayed... He pushed her to tell him what was on her mind and when she did? He used it to cut the ties they had, telling her that he wasn't what she needed, as if he knew? A coward he ran in the middle of the night and left his ring and a letter behind in his wake and just vanished into the dark like a thief... How dare he? What gave him the right? He put her through fire and brimstone in Silverthorne, pitted her against other princesses, made her run a gauntlet... All to become his Queen and he... After having her do that, putting herself out there, forcing her to claim her birthright in order to stand beside him... Tossed her over because of some dirty fantasies...



He broke a big part of her in that and she wanted to say she was surprised but... She wasn't... Not Really... Hanali had started to change her tune a little, to gloat a bit, that passive aggressive saccharine bullshit that women do to others just for that rush of superiority. She planned on just taking a fast shower and finding Anya but instead she drew out a bath and got a bottle of whisky for herself, cigarettes and even picked up some of that sugary sweet opium that Gia had given her, to settle the nerves she had said. She'd settle into the inky black waters, charcoal bath salts and black orchids on the waters surface, gold flake swirling through the dark waters... It looked like sin and witches brew and she felt such a turbulent swirl of emotions that it just matched the moment... She'd pop the bottle off that whisky and pour herself a very full glass of it, downing the first one hard before she'd pour another one to savor, her stomach churning from the sheer emotion of that letter... She'd read it once, twice, a dozen times... Fifty times... Each time she read it it didn't change, there was no secret between the lines, nothing to bring her comfort or to allow her to think there might be a chance... He was gone... Severed ties with her and just burned her entire future with him down like a pyro to a house of cards... Crazy... He had said he loved her but could toss her aside like day old rubbish... Well my dear, she thought, your actions make your words a lie don't they?



She'd play with the ring between her fingers and a part of her wanted to wear it, to touch herself with it on her hand, to feel like he was there one last time... But for the first time? Her body wanted, needed sex, needed that release but she was denying herself it. Instead she just stewed in misery, smoking that cigarette and drinking her whisky as the minutes flew by, her skin slowly pruning up and the water growing colder... Colder still till it was uncomfortable and she made herself get out, the ring in her hand though, she still didn't know what to do with it... She'd put so much into it, so much love and care, detail as she made herself learn how to work with precious metals... Keeping him in her mind as she worked so the ring would be a representation of himself... She couldn't toss it. She couldn't destroy it... Tradition or not some things... Somethings you just can't let go...



She went through outfit after outfit, everything was cute and feminine, some very sexual and some downright erotic but... She didn't feel any of that. She didn't feel... Anything. She just left it all in a bit of chaos before she'd move to Jacob's wardrobe and pull on a pair of his jeans, struggling a bit to get them up over her fuller bottom half and rolling up the bottom hems, a white button up thrown over her head and the front tucked in but the left was just left very haphazard... A pair of low slung white shoes on her feet before she'd leave the room, her hair a bit wild, a bit messy... Whatever...She couldn't care... She'd go to find Anya then and with a bit of direction would be sent to her room and knock very gently on her door. "Anya? It's Rose, are you awake?" She'd ask and wait for an answer before she'd come into the pitch black room and it took her several long moments to adjust to the dark before she'd find a chair... Mostly by bumping into it but she'd find it all the same and sit down, waiting quietly for Anya to being to explain what she needed, what brought her for the visit.



Roses Filched Clothes from Jacob

[Deleted]

she was silent.. dead silent when he revealed it all.. when he re-wrote her broken memories.. it was in those moments that images would flicker into place.. she had no idea the two of them were there dressed so similarly.. which birthed a whole new line of questions.. Why being the most prominent.. if for no other reason than to trick her.. she had No idea she had been dancing with him.. no idea it was him she shared that kiss with.. Did Diovan know this?.. was this all some ploy to fuck with her?.. were they both in on it?.. her sister had caused her great pain.. for such a long time.. and only just now..she was coming to realise that.. she could trust no one.. not even those she gave everything to.. he might have kissed her at the end.. he might have said something about.. their connection.. or their bond.. she missed it.. she missed his last series of words.. her mind was just ringing so many alarm bells.. and she was reigning in all her strength.. every single ounce of it to not break down.. hold it in Sy.. hold it in.. Hold it in.. the click of the door latch was loud and sharp.. making her flinch..

she remained.. upon her side.. trembled breaths sounded.. even as Thaylan came in with a letter.. she didn't turn to him.. she didn't move or say a word.. her eyes were closed.. as far as everyone was concerned she was resting.. but no.. on the inside she was breaking down.. wall by wall.. she was crumbling.. the moment she was left alone she ripped that IV from her arm.. it fucking hurt.. she whined as the blood trickled down her wrist..pressing every button on the stupid machine till it stopped beeping.. she pulled herself up till she was seated.. her legs were practically useless.. she could move her toes.. sensation was coming back but it was incredibly slow.. she reached for a pair of crutches.. dragging them over.. knocking the letter.. the recording the cup of water down onto the floor.. in those moments that letter could have been a saving grace.. but she couldn't have cared a single ounce.. she was angry.. she was upset.. hurting and confused.. How could anyone be so Fucking cruel.. if he attempted that connection between them .. ever.. all he would get was static..

she pulled her legs around so they were dangling off the bed.. her hands would slide down into the holds as she pushed herself to her feet.. her toes curled and her ankles rolled a little.. but she could move.. slowly.. those nurses could watch her all they wanted.. but if they dared approach.. she moved ..awkwardly.. uncomfortably toward the double garden doors.. moving to draw them open as she caught her reflection in the mirrored glass.. she froze.. her eyes ..her cheeks.. her hair.. she reached up to touch across the freckles.. just the soft tan colouring.. before she noticed that ring.. her wedding ring and her shoulders went up.. she visibly shook.. a shuddered breath sounded and she pulled that off her finger.. along with the diamond earings in her ears. dropping to the floor to land in the little droplets of blood she was leaving in her wake.. she was so angry.. So So angry as she pushed out into the garden..she was trying to summon the strength to get home or.. to get anywhere.. Anywhere.. she needed to get away from here.. desperately.. but whilst her magic was there.. it was hard to control it with her vision being semi blurred.. that anger would sit with her..long enough until it told her.. that its real name was grief.. -

[Deleted]

He sat with her there at that little breakfast nook, she had spoiled him immensely and it all tasted So good.. they spoke about Sydel.. and how things.. well they were just not right-.. I was not there when it happened.. I cant even be entirely sure how they did it.. but.. from the start.. it was clear that something wasn't right.. I guess.. if we really sat down and thought about it.. slicing ourselves in half.. our.. supposed good and ..well for lack of a better term.. bad.. we possibly wouldn't function right either. ...-he nodded-.. we need both.. to be even.. to be level.. -he placed his spoon down-.. and goddess help me.. but.. -he sighed-.. it makes me wonder.. if she should have ever been brought back to begin with.. she has suffered so much in so many ways since then.. and for what?.. -he shook his head a little.. it was heavy.. and not something he really wanted to discuss.. not now.. not ever.. it was his Mother . and he loved her.. Sydel and Sybelle.. but he knew something had to give. -.. She's a unique study.. and a beautiful person when you get underneath it all.. I sincerely hope.. in my heart of hearts that this is it.. this is the end of it.. and she can settle.. make a life for herself where she is free to do as she pleases.. We will look after her.. we are a family.. all of us.. we stick together no matter what.. -he offered her a smile.. they spoke about Sylwyn a little.. and how he was going to spend part of his morning doing a routine check on the new addition so that Garafin and Taru could head back to Arvandor with a clean bill of health.. -.. Ahh I have faith in you my love.. you will get there.. there's no rush.. never a rush..

-he took a drink of his tea as he sunk back in his seat a little.. they discussed what they might do then.. maybe they could catch up for an afternoon picnic.. or maybe in the early evening.. she mentioned star watching and he smiled-.. That actually sounds perfect.. Its a date my dear.. I look forward to it..-he had fond memories of the first time they did it.. back at the mansion.. back before they had done.. anything really.. when it was all new..and caution was sharp.. .. they would part ways after he had helped her tidy up a little.. she was visiting with Anya.. about something he was intrigued about.. and he needed to check in on a precious little girl.. having popped in on Garafin and Taru he gave them the chance to shower and get cleaned up.. pack their things as he took the wee one down into one of the offices.. He caught up with Thaylan along the way.. a letter.. giving a nod before he slid it down into his pocket.. something to read later.. whilst he was sure it was important.. this little girl had his attention right now.. he cradled her against his chest there as he took a few notes.. glancing up though as Nautilous wandered in.. -.. Ahh.. you could never barge in.. you're welcome anytime .. you know this.. -he offered you a smile.. a little nod of his head as he wrote down a few more things....he laughed though at the comment about Slywyn being too cute to be Garafins-.. She is utterly adorable isnt she.. -he moved across to you then.. -.. Arms out..-he nodded-.. whilst you're here.. you get to give me a hand.. at least for a moment or two.. if you will oblige me of course.. -he would wait until you said yes.. though he was hopeful.. carefully handing over sweet baby as he turned back to pick up his measuring tape.. -

.. Whats on your mind then?.. you look.. well.. a little out of sorts.. -he would glide the measuring tape around her little head.. glacing down at the numbers before he would jot them down.. he turned to make his way back to his desk then.. taking a small drink of water as he slid his pencil behind his ear.. the conversation seemed to be turning quite.. serious.. he tilted his head.. looking directly to you.. -.. mmhmm.. You both have been through quite a lot.. -his arms rose as he listened.. though his shoulders sunk a little when you said you couldn't do it anymore.. his hand rose as he rubbed it across his chin.. -.. Wow.. -he nodded.. exhaling slowly-.. I mean.. if you both believe there is no other way.. then thats just how it has to be sometimes.. Im really sorry to hear that though .. I wish I could have helped.. -he nodded.. pushing away from the desk as he moved back across to you.. reaching to take baby back as he turned and placed it down into the little bassinet -.. I dont know that encouraging her to be with someone else was possibly the best idea.. given the incredibly loud heated argument Rose heard from them only the night before.. but..I guess we all come to a point in our lives where we have to decide what it is we want.. and dont want.. what is working and what is not working.. -he nodded he wasn't judging.. not at all.. he was a little surprised by it.. but thats all.. -.. What happens between you and Mother will not affect what we have.. -he motioned between them-.. I think you're pretty awesome and I always will.. You have done more for me.. than anyone.. and I mean that.. Youve always had my back.. Youve helped me out without question and offered advice wether it was easy or hard whenever I needed to hear it. You're a good man Nautilous and.. I still want you in my life.. You're kind of stuck with me now Im afraid.. -he offered a sympathetic smile-.. I was looking forward to it being official.. I dont know if thats something you still want to do.. but.. maybe after you have calmed.. and settled yourself.. we could do that?.. -he wasn't sure if you still wanted to be his official Father.. so much had happened in the span of 24 hours.. he wouldn't blame him if his mind had been changed.. especially with them separating.. -..Once I take Sylwyn back to her parents though I have a side surgery set up to take care of your eye issue.. if you still want me to go ahead with that.. Ill always be around somewhere.. we dont have to do it today.. the ball is in your court..

[Deleted]

Oh she wasn't terribly happy about her letter being shared, it struck a nerve but..in the same breath it also caused her much pause.. had he actually severed ties with Sydel?.. really?.. was that his decision.. or was it made because of her?.. Did he do it for himself?.. the answers to those would tell her a lot.. and she had so many questions.. but it was stuff that could not be written down.. it had to be said in person and that actually frightened her a little.. 

Thaylan and Nautilous


Since it seems to be the case that my private letters are being shared between you both I figured why waste my time writing two when I can just write the one, and you can both sit down and read it together..


It would seem that Nautilous is the key to us finding our Family home, to us rebuilding our life and starting a new.. I believe I spoke.. out of turn with with haste when I requested a map, and for that I do apologise, that was incredibly crass and insensitive.. I wanted to thankyou Nautilous for taking the time to show us where it is we do need to go. I am not certain of your reasoning for residing within the depths of my home after tomorrow, but if you will allow me a couple of days.. I have pressing business in Silverthorn, but I am postive it wont take long to be finalised.


I have organised rooms for you all here, in the city. We could head off from here, though I believe whilst Anya will come to Silverthorn I have since decided I dont want her making the journey home until we are settled. It could hold dangers that we arent prepared for and I dont want to put her in that kind of position unnecessarily. Adelaide has agreed to take her on until we are ready.


Nautilous. if once you arrive I could take up a short measure of your time, I feel there are things that need to be said.. questions answered.. if you will permit it..


Thaylan.. I highly suggest you get nice and comfortable on your ride over.. for once I am done with you its going to be a slightly uncomfortable experience sitting for quite some time.. You were right.. it was the height of audacity dear Brother..


Travel safe and be reminded you have my shining jewel in your company..


Gia

xx

[Deleted]

She had left her dear Father with a smile it had been a meeting she had been looking forward to for the longest time.. but one that .. deep down in the back of her mind she was beginning to think would never happen.. She was certain Lloth had blessed the family.. everything seemed to be slowly falling into place.. at least in her eyes.. her Mother had found her soul mate.. the one to make her smile and laugh again.. she had found her Father in the very same person.. a parental figure she could look up to and learn from.. She had made friends with some beautiful people.. and learnt a lot..she rested easily after that.. her reverie was soothing and soft.. it rejuvenated her.. re-energized her so easily.. she woke refreshed.. taking that warm bath.. the scented oils of citrus and subtle floral would float about her darkened room.. she slipped into a long skirt and short sleeved top.. but all her clothing was easily covered by the thick navy and red wine woollen piwafwi.. that cloak which shielded her.. protected her..

she was just turning up the lanterns a little when she heard the knock upon the door.. her smile widened considerably -.. Yes of course do come in.. Mind your step.. -she called out.. making sure there was enough light for you to be able to move about comfortably.. waiting till you were settled upon that seat near the closed window.. -.. Oh my goodness Thankyou so much for taking time out to see me.. -.. she picked up one of the chairs.. taking it over so she could sit across from you.. her hands coming down to rest there upon her lap.. she drew breath to speak before she paused.. her head tilting to the side a little-.. are you ok?.. -she would question.. her brows drawing inward a little.. a curious glance.. you seemed.. a little off.. not rattled so much.. but not as bright and bubbly as you usually would be.. -.. I have come for a few reasons.. -she nodded a little-.. Mother sent me.. Ill pass on hers first.. she sends her regards and hopes you are well.. she apologises for having to leave so abruptly.. something had come up and she was no longer able to stay.. She was wondering if you would be willing to give her a physical.. a full one, its been quite possibly a long time since she has had one.. and this one.. is.. well quite pressing.. I wont go into specifics.. but.. she would prefer it done by you.. she has a great deal of respect for you.. and your work.. She finds you incredibly talented and driven.. and whilst it is not customary at all for Drow to call on physicians that are outside of our race.. she has requested you personally.. -she nodded-.. She can meet you in Oxford.. East of Silverthorn.. in the residence there.. if.. it suits you.. -she knew not of anything that had happened recently with Ace.. all of that was private.. and none of her business-..

The other thing.. is.. well its.. something both my Mother and I have spoken about at length.. a proposition.. for you.. and perhaps Jacob if you think he might be willing.. Soon we will be back within Menzoberranzan.. we will have built up our House .. our home.. and we will be running in line competitively.. its a big deal and its going to take some work to find all the right pieces.. but we feel.. we have found one.. in you.. We are wanting an onsite physician.. and we are asking if you would consider it. You wouldn't have to be there full time.. it would be on a cycling basis and in emergencies.. You would be the personal physician to the Matron and her Priestesses.. -she motioned to herself-.. and then to whatever ends my Mother required.. it would entail keeping an eye on our birth rates.. Lots of children from our residents is paramount to our cities success ..Family is.. the biggest thing for us.. and taking care of our own is key.. from the lower class all the way to the top tier.. You would have free reign on our estate and for the most part Menzoberranzan itself.. naturally you couldn't wander through others houses.. but the cities would be open to you .. The libraries and distilleries.. all of it.. would be at your disposal.. and anything you required would be handled with little to no question. You would be paid for your work handsomely. I dont expect an answer today.. its a big thing to think about.. and to talk about with Jacob.. My Mother will be able to answer any and all questions you have if you are able to come visit with her.. for that physical.. but.. again.. all of this is up to you.. there is no pressure. we just figured you were the right fit.. and what we were looking for.. We trust you.. and Id love to have you around more..

Piwafwi

[BadInfluence]

He'd been sent off to bed and at that point he couldn't argue with a drunk kitten let alone anyone else. The fact was he felt drained, broken down and shot by grief, the woman he had loved was both alive and dead... His child was both alive and dead... But at the center of it all was his brother as always seemed to be. It was like every high point, ever good moment, every single event in his life that wasn't day to day had his brother in it and it was starting to eat at him. He'd tried to be a good brother once upon a time, years ago when Nautilous had first come to Arvandor, sent ahead by their mother to avoid being beheaded down on the surface. Even then he knew he was a lost cause though, torn between entitled and utter self hate the kid was angry and sly, knew just when to put on that cherubic face and could charm anyone out of their last penny. Caela was mad about him and he had seen Sybelle give him sideways glances now and then which made him twitch a bit, worried that things might turn strange or worse, still he tried though... Tried to show him how to be good, to act selflessly, to so for others versus one's self... And maybe some of it had stuck... Most of it hadn't...

He knew it was a gamble when he and Nautilous had gone to the party in similar costumes, two stags with a slightly different coloration, the costumes picked out by Paramour's so they had no choice or control over it... He'd seen the two of them dancing together and it was really the first start of that jealousy, the hatred of his little brother, watching him steal a kiss from the woman he had loved his whole life. It was just a seed at first but over the years it had become a fully developed garden of pestilence and hate. He'd vowed to himself that he would do what ever he had to to keep Sybelle by his side and given Caela's continued resistance that night when she said she would give her blessing there was no way he could resist. He'd gone... And lost everything because of it. He linked all his misfortunes to his brother and most of them were genuinely linked so he felt justified more than once in his feelings but right now? Right now all he felt was anger and sadness, those two had become his bed fellows when he went to sleep, giving him wild chaotic dreams that did nothing to help him feel rested or revived...

When he woke up he felt much the same as he had when he went to bed, pushing himself out of the tangled mess of sheets to a knock on the door, Thaylan having a letter for him from Ace which he thought... Odd? An invitation?... Words of guidance and support... From Ace? That was entirely unexpected but yet for some reason... He felt a bit of a tugging on his brain... Like he should be able to remembering something but it was eluding him. He put it in his pocket and made his way out of the doors, heading outside to have a smoke and some coffee, rubbing his stubble rich face and the sand from his eyes. That was when he heard the sound of doors opening, something or someone moving, turning around and heading to the other side of the building... That was when he saw her, trailing blood like a Hansel and Grettle path of crumbs and he was on her like a hound, tearing the hem of his shirt as he made his way to her quickly. "Sydel! What are you doing?!" He asked, concern obvious in his voice as he caught her up in his arms, lifting her easily and making his way over to a bench. IF she resisted? He'd still hold her firm in his arms until he had the wound on her arm bandaged, holding pressure over it to get the blood to stop, looking at her closely and that was when he saw all the changes.

"Wait... You're... Your my Sydel, Right? But..." He said gently, catching her chin to tilt her head a bit, to see those beautiful eyes he thought he'd never see again... The soft smattering of freckles like God's paint brush flecks... The warm hue of her skin and the purple roots of her hair... "My God... You're beautiful..." He breathed in more than a bit of awe before he'd just take her a bit tighter in his arms and hold her close... "What were you trying to do? You just got out of surgery and you should be resting..." He asked quietly before he saw the ring lying in the dirt, the earrings torn out from her ears, so many questions rising in his eyes but he asked none of them. What ever this was? It was bad... "You Don't have to talk... It's ok... I think I know what happened." Nautilous had finally fucked up so bad she saw how horrible of a man he really was and was done with him... Washed her hands of him perhaps... Either way he could not be sad, oh no, he was thrilled... Elated... Finally.. His brothers shadow wasn't going to be cast over them anymore, they could start new, get back what was stolen and made even better now that they were older... Wiser...

"Let's go home..." He said gently and she might notice another change... Something terrifyingly new... A snap of his fingers and he had a portal opening in the web ways for them to go to Arvandor, her home on the pond clearly seen on the other side of it, stepping through the round opening easily... It was fast... Fluid... Smooth from one side to the other before it was closed behind him with another snap. "I told my mother years ago as a child I didn't want magic... It was too strong in our family and I didn't want to be tempted to use it for ill. Because of that choice I lost you... I won't lose you again... Ever." If she asked he'd explain how he came to have magic again, and while it was an amazing thing the gift of it was something he had always had, he just had it blocked so he couldn't access it. Now that the block was removed and he was in the process of healing he could use all the same tricks he had been taught in school as well as what he had seen others do.

He'd set her down on her feet but he'd keep his arm about her waist for support, letting her get her legs back under her without her having to fall or hurt herself, walking with her across the hidden bridge to her home... The clever illusion that had him taking a dunk more than once trying to get to her house to visit. Once they were inside he would sit her in the chair that had been her favorite, this place was all hers, there was never an influence of another soul here but her own... He'd start a fire for her to chase away the damp that hung about from being unused for so long, going to the kitchen to see what might still be about but sadly as he feared it was bare, but at least it had tea leaves so he made her a pot of lavender and chamomile tea... He had never seen her eat or drink as Sydel but Sybelle did just fine so maybe... She might be... Somewhere in between? "Here... I'm not... Really too good at this stuff, it's not my forte but it's better than plain water, right?" He'd ask, handing her a cup of fresh tea that was... A little on the weaker side with perhaps a touch too much honey but it was a valiant attempt. "I'm going to step outside and see if I can't find something for you...Do you... Do you eat now? Or is it still blood? Or...?" He'd ask, coming to stand behind her chair and drape a blanket over her shoulders, one of the many she had knitted herself... His hands resting over it on her shoulders... "I just want to help... But I won't leave you alone. I did that once and I will never, ever make that mistake again..."

[BadInfluence]

"Perhaps more like a light side and a dark side... You can be dark but still go good, and be light but still do bad, there's a... Balance in it. But that just... Even if you could you shouldn't. The reasoning might have been completely kind and selfless but... To split one person into two..." It had never been done before and even with her out of the box style of thinking there wasn't anything she could think of that would make any of this even remotely ok to do, let alone possible but there it was. Sybelle had been a kind woman but Sydel was her friend, she knew how much she suffered and locked down, if only because sometimes she saw that gap herself... The little chink in the armor but she never pushed... She just wanted to be there for her no matter what happened. But like Jacob? She honestly hoped this was the end of the mess too, there was nothing wrong with trying to push yourself, to do the right thing but... Not to the level that Nautilous had gone. There was such a thing as too much, too far, and that man had well passed even those. "She's my friend and she helped me more than most... We'll always look out for her, through you she's like my own mother too, and that means I want to protect her." But how much could they do? There was only so much another could do to help alleviate someones internal suffering and struggle, she knew that all too well, and sometimes you had to just cut the cords... Sydel had taught her that early on and it had helped her come to terms with quite a few things... "No matter what happens from now on though it can only get better for her. Twists and turns and crazy knots she will get the life she always wanted I know it." She smiled as she said she too was making progress in the medical field and her personal life. It was all becoming smoother, easier, and while she still struggled she was getting there she really was. "Nope... Slowly working my mind around to realizing I'm an elf and I got a whole lot of time ahead of me... Progress on that front too." She said with a wink before she'd finish breakfast with him and all things were cleared off the table and set in the proper places. He had a date with Sylwyn to check up on her but they wanted to do a bit of a date today, and given she herself had a few things to do today they were both going to have to sneak some time in, something fun but perhaps not in the afternoon... She offered up the chance to go star seeing instead, this way in case that storm did come through the day the night would be clear as crystal, perfect for watching the night sky. "I thought so too. I'll send a message to you when I'm all done honey, make sure your time schedule is going smoothly, this way we can meet up." It was just smarter that way, plan ahead because on a busy day like today, nothing could be done on the fly.

She'd kiss him softly before it was time for them to split off and she went to go and see what was going on with Anya before she got caught with that letter from Thaylan, bearing Ace's hand writing and she had taken it with her to her room to get changed. What followed next was a part of her world just breaking off and shattering. A big part of it was shock but perhaps in some small part she knew... It wasn't a complete surprise but it was enough to break her heart, to make her feel cold and numb, all she wanted to do was cry but she couldn't... It was like being shell shocked... Everything just sort of shut down inside her, emotionally wise she was an arctic winter and nothing stirred there, not even a single breeze. She'd taken a bath as black as her heart felt before she'd get dressed in some of Jacob's clothes, she didn't want to be feminine or soft, she didn't even want to look like a woman... It was just so much better to be a boy, to wear men clothes and not be hurt by heart ache or lies, to just be able to brush everything off like a bit of dust on one's pants.

Getting to Anya's rooms for her stay here was easy with a bit of direction but once inside it was quite dark, something she really would have found fascinating in a different mind, just how sharp a Drow's eyes were in the dark. Her friends soft cheery words and demeanor were wonderful though, a light in the dark right now, and while small it was a good companion all the same. "Honestly what is a little time between friends? I was surprised to know you had come to visit given it is quite a trip. I hope you were able to relax and rest?" She asked before she'd find her way to that chair by the window, settling in comfortably with her legs crossed at the knee, hearing the question though she nodded her head. "I'll be fine, Aeson and I have dissolved our courtship, he felt the age difference was too great between us. It's quite amicable I assure you." Age and everything else he had found fault with her for... Good enough to fuck, good enough to get pregnant, but nothing more. Ok...She knew that was being unfair but she felt terrifically bitter towards him right now, bitter and hurt, she knew her mind was going to be dark for some time too but... She'd get over it. She'd survived a lot worse... She still had her friends... But most of all she had Jacob still and she knew... She should have gone with her gut and just locked Ace out like she had first wanted... Many a moment of pain and sadness could have been avoided but... That was all another time. She didn't live in yesterday, that was behind her, she needed to keep moving forward. She asked what the need for the visit was and that was when Anya would begin to explain things and as it went on?

Her interest was peaked, it showed in the way she sat forward more and more on the chair, her eyes lighting up with vivid interest in the offer that was being laid out. "I recall her asking to see me at a somewhat later date before the party she hosted but then she was gone that morning and I didn't get a chance to catch her. Its an incredible honor to know that she thinks so highly of me. I am more than a little flattered and humbled by her praise, honestly, I have much more to learn but I always strive to be my best." She said before nodding herself. She thought she MIGHT have an idea... Maybe... But what she thought and what was a fact were far from the same on most cases so she'd leave her mind and the wanderings there within her head where they belonged. "I can happily go to Oxford yes, it's just a portal over from here if I am right, should be no trouble at all." She was a woman, a young woman who was in the grips of her very first heart break, it was tearing her up inside but more than that? She was a Doctor and a Princess, she couldn't be seen crumbling, she had to be strong and fierce or there was no hope for her to be good in either position.

What came next though had her sitting back in a bit of shock, her hands folded neatly over her lap for several moments before they'd start to stir, tapping out on her legs as her face took on such an expression of deep thought. She was processing everything on a very rapid track, she knew this was a chance of a lifetime, she'd been fascinated by Drow culture and biology... The flora and the fauna, their poisons, the positions of their hierarchy and their religion... She'd never, ever get a chance like this again, it was everything she'd hoped to find in her life on a silver platter in regards to one of those adventures on her bucket list... Plus she could swing this now, she wasn't pregnant and there was nothing to stop her, to hold her back... She rocked forward again and crossed her hands under her chin as she thought about Jacob... He could go with her... It was a chance of the lifetime for him too, there was a world of knowledge down there that none but the drow normally got access to, entire libraries full of books waiting for him to read...

"On my own count yes, a thousand times yes I would love to go Anya, this is something I've been dreaming about doing for the last year... I'm fascinated by your people, your culture and your religion, you're all a beautiful and mysterious people and I want nothing more than to learn all about the Drow. But you're right, this isn't just my choice, I have to think about Jacob too." And there was maybe the only issue. Jacob had one hell of a traumatic event in the Drow cities, the woman he had fallen in love with and married had fucked his best friend right in front of him, tormented and tortured while held under the paralysis drug. He might not want to go and if that was the case... She still couldn't say no to the chance, but she hated the idea of them just now getting a chance to be together again and have to part once more for work, it wasn't something she wanted to do what so ever. "Though I will be honest Anya, I love my fiance Jacob but the fact is? Is that I'd take the position even if he chose not to join me, this is an opportunity I will not pass on, but I will still give it a think if only out of respect for yourself and your mother. I know what I want but everyone would feel better if I rolled it about a while in my head." She said with a smile as she let her hands drop to her lap again and looked out the heavily curtained window, tapping her finger against the top of her knee, thinking about several things. "What's it like Anya, being a Priestess? Jacob is something similar for Hanali, a Paramour, but I find myself strangely strung between religions. I wonder what sort of peace comes from knowing which side of the fence we solidly sit on..." She pondered before she stood up with a smile on her lips all the same. "Would you permit me to do a scan on you Anya? A physical? I just realized that this is the perfect chance to make sure I can actually do what your mother needs me to before I go. What do you think? Or do you require some form of bribery my friend? Which, by the way, the blue looks beautiful on you..." She said warmly. She had something occupying her mind right now and that was exactly what she needed.

[BadInfluence]

Oh dear... His dakhree was well and truly cooked wasn't it? Perhaps he might have explained in that letter that he only shared a part of that letter she had written him, most certainly not the part about the map, but regardless? He was in for it now that went without saying! But he knew she would make him pay for what he had done too, they hid nothing from each other after all so then it went without saying he was well aware of the cost of his transgression, he accepted them easily... But not without a bit of dread. The last time he had pissed her off he couldn't sit on his arse for over a week... He kept an ear out for Nautilous in that bath while he read the letter, tapping his fingertips on the table before he'd start to pen a reply to her, lighting up a cigarette as he went along.





My Sweetest Sister,



In my defense I only showed him a part of that last letter, much as I will only show him a part of this one, but even with that in mind your ire is earned as I did show him a part none-the-less. He currently rests within the bath of his own suite as he has begun packing for his travels away, I do believe this is a permanent thing, something he has not taken on without great resolve... I have not have the chance to ask him and I feel the timing is not right to ask myself but... When I saw Sydel last she was crying and had her back turned to the world so I do think he has severed that tie on a permanent sort of scale...



We will meet you in the City with Anya and make sure the trip is smooth and without any troubles. You know what is best always and the choice for our daughter is incredibly wise, Adelaide has ruled her city on her own for many a year through good times and bad, Anya could learn much from her and how the surface kingdoms are run. It will likely give her an inside view to how Kingdoms are run and allow her the knowledge to ensure that all trade from now on and any other surface dealings are done in such a way that we do not get slighted or taken advantage of. Truly an invaluable experience for her and something she will be able to pass on down to her own daughters and sons.



As for myself, I will endeavor to be healed up enough so that when we meet once more you can unleash your just wrath on me as you see fit, without need to hold back due to my injuries. But I do ask you go for the left cheek more than the right, not for my own rest or ease of pain but the last time you laid quite deeply into the right one more, which I'd like to even my set out if you don't mind.



But all that aside... Nautilous has taken off his wedding ring and only wears the one we all share now... I thought you might want to know that before we all meet up again.



I Love you, my sweet Sister, my Precious twin. We will see you shortly, right now I must tend to our love, he has been in the bath for some time now and I fear he needs something a bit more substantial than hot water. What would you advise my sweet? It was your hands which caught his broken heart and knows it's shape much better than I... Please guide me so that I might help him hold himself together until he is a little more grounded.



Always Your Happy Slave,



Thaylan Auvryda

[BadInfluence]

The bath water was almost so hot it burned, he was sweating profusely but he didn't care, he just sat there... Keeping it hot to the point of almost scalding he stayed there and just sat in silence. He had tried to do a good thing but it went bad, and if he had done it badly, it wouldn't have mattered... He felt like he could do nothing right, he hurt Sybelle and he hurt Sydel, he hurt Gia... If he left now he might keep himself from poisoning Jacob and Aysil... Thaylan had tried to help him out too, sending him to the bath after puking his guts out for the better part of an hour but at this point nothing was going to be making the day better. Nothing could. Towards the end he finally gave up on the self torture and began to wash, scrubbing up from head to toe one more time before he'd get out of that tub and dry off, getting dressed in very casual clothes... Nothing pretty, nothing fancy, just straight can't be bothered clothes.

With that he'd see Thaylan coming in with concern on his face and he just shook his head. He told Thaylan he was going down to see Jacob and tell him what he had decided to do, the two of them could talk later tonight when they left to head out to Silverthorn, not before... He was still processing and didn't have the energy to explain much of anything right now. The two of them would share a hug though, something warm and comforting, something he needed before he'd leave downstairs to go and find Jacob.

Seeing the son of his heart there holding a baby he really hoped that Rose would be able to have a healthy pregnancy someday, he could see it there on his sons face how much he wanted a baby, the two of them had always had that in common... Big hearts that wanted big families... And he sincerely hoped that Jacob would be able to get that. A few words were spoken lightly and he put on a smile for him, nodding his head as he took the babe, holding the small little thing close in his arms... "I never got to hold Aysil like this, she came to me when she was already three... It's so easy to forget how little they are and how quickly they grow...You blink and they're walking..." He said softly, knowing if things had been different, if he hadn't pushed Sydel down in that dungeon she might have still had that baby, they might have had their daughter and all of this... Would have been so different... Such small choices... Little twists and turns that lead him on a path that ended on a cliffs edge and all he could do now was jump... And hope there was water at the bottom.

Moving a bit he made sure that Jacob could get the measurements he needed without much issue and he nodded his head, explaining to him that things between him and his mother had fallen out badly, the two of them just... Well no... It wasn't her choice it was his... HE didn't think they could do it anymore. They just kept hurting each other, the choices they made trying to keep each other happy, they were just paving the way to hell with each one. Something between them was so badly broken that there was nothing left to salvage, vital parts had been ground to dust under the boot heels of time and mistakes, bad choices and worse ideas... "We have but the fact is that a lot of her suffering came from the choices I made... Even though she wanted to keep trying I couldn't let her do that anymore... She tries and she tries, I do too, but we can't mesh... The things that once worked for us don't anymore, we grew up and in a way we grew apart, the things we need... We can't give each other, not right now... I need to step away and find out who I am, I need to heal myself and learn to love myself before I ever think about coming back to her, and I won't lie Jacob...I sincerely hope she finds happiness with Diovan..." And he did... With his whole heart, he just wanted to see her happy, happy and healthy... Something she had never once been with him...

He nearly sagged when Jacob said that none of this was going to hold a bearing on the relationship the two of them had. It was like this anchor hung about his neck was suddenly lifted and he sprung up like a bit of ice in a glass, his head spinning from the change but it was a good one, a good sort of shift... "I'm honestly... Really Glad... It was hard enough to cut your mother free so she could live a good life but... I feared in doing so I was going to lose you too... You are always going to be my son Jacob, till I take my last breath you are my boy, my heir and my pride and joy." He would reach out then and pull him into a hug so tight it was almost enough to pop his back but there was so much in there, so much love and support, his whole heart in that embrace. "I love you Jacob and when ever you want, you tell me, and I will take you to the hall of records myself and adopt you as my own. No matter how chaotic my life is or the shitstorms that fly over it, I will always have time for you, day or night. And for Jacob? He always would... Crazy in a way that his brothers son was actually the one genuinely good, honest and true thing he had in his life, his one healthy relationship... Insane.

"I'd appreciate that if you have the time? I have a spare eye procured some years ago, it's been enchanted so it's still functioning and viable, hoping at some point I'd get the chance to get my eye replaced. I'll tell the staff while you go give Sylwyn back to her mother and father to prep me for surgery. I don't want to eat up too much of your day, I'm sure you and lovely Rose will be wanting to steal away a little date or something together, that pillow fort last night was something insanely cute..." He said with a smile because yes, he had seen it, and it was indeed incredibly adorable. He paused a moment and reached out to rest his hand on Jacob's shoulder a minute and gave it a squeeze. Just something warm, comforting, familiar before he would let him go to return Sylwyn... He wanted to tell Jacob not to make the same mistakes he had but honestly? He already knew Jacob wouldn't... Jacob had known who he was his whole life, been through hell and back on his own, brought himself up through the ranks to be where and who he wanted to be in this life... And all on his own with little help from anyone because he was strong... Because he could do it...

With that he'd get a hold of the nurses and what not and strip out of the very plain clothes and into the hospital gown, submitting to tubes and hozes, monitors and those damned sticky pads from hell... Honestly it wasn't THAT bad but it was still a surgery in a very delicate area so they weren't about to go about it lightly. By the time Jacob got back? He had already been put under and was prepped for the surgery.

[Deleted]

She had hobbled out into the awaiting grasp of that mid morning sunshine.. her legs were wobbly.. she had little control over her feet placement so it meant this whole act of walking out to get some air was a lot harder than it should have been.. she flinched when she heard his voice calling out to her.. sudden and sharp.. before she felt the world literally spinning.. he had swept her off her feet.. the wooden crutches hit the ground and she whined a little.. her lids closed over-.. imfine.. im fine.. -she whispered softly.. she didn't resist.. she couldn't even if she wanted too.. she used up what little strength she had getting up off that bed in the first place.. and whatever ounce of it that was left was sapped clean by the crutches..she felt his movements.. the tightness of the material that was being wrapped around her wrist.. restricting the slow trickle that would have continued to splash down upon the ground with every step.. her brows drew inward as she heard his questioning.. before she felt the warmth of his touch.. she blinked her eyes back open slowly.. looking up to him.. well.. as best she could.. he was still a bit on the bury side.. she knew full well who it was though.. his Sydel.. was she.. His Sydel.. it caused an odd little series of questions to circle her mind.. whilst her memory was a little.. stunted..she remembered all to well the fight they had only the night previous.. Did he honestly still want to be with her after that?..

She wasn't even remotely surprised that Nautilous had taken off for the hills.. her eyes closed when he called her beautiful.. the words gave her an odd warm feeling inside.. and she wasn't quite sure how to take it.. he questioned her as he pulled her in closer.. asking her what she was trying to do.. that she should have been resting.. before something made him pause.. she wasn't entirely sure what.. but.. she was thankful for it.. she..didn't feel like talking.. Ohh she could have kissed him though when he said they were going home.. Thats Exactly what she wanted.. Exactly what she needed.. -.. please.. -a crackled voice sounded as she went to rest her head on his shoulder.. though.. wait.. the portal appeared and her brow rose.. she blinked.. sitting up a little then as she peered down into the floating image before her.. it was blurry yes.. more so than it would have been for him.. but.. she could see the shapes.. the shadows.. the general outline of her home.. oh be still her heart.. -.. I.. -she paused.. swallowing to try and rid the crackle.. the gravelly sound-.. I dont understand.. how..?.. -she was honestly stunned and it read across her face.. he had always been.. well for lack of a better term.. magically retarded.. or so she thought.. he never really used it.. or.. she'd never seen him use it..but he had done so just now with as much ease as she would have.. someone classically trained.. someone with a smooth hand.. he carried her through without issue.. with a calmness that was comforting.. magic if used properly was meant to make you feel good.. not sharp and scratching.. she took in a long deep breath as she felt the soft breeze of home.. of Arvandor.. oh it smelt so good.. So good.. enough that she whined a little when he placed her feet down..

her ankles rolled at first but she forced herself to find a way to stand.. the soft warm sands beneath her feet felt odd.. the texture was intriguing.. the warmth from the sun as it caressed her bare shoulders ..soothing.. her heart had missed Arvandor.. and it had been a very.. very long time since she had been within its loving arms.. he helped her across that bridge of trickery and back into her little nook.. her own piece of heaven.. she screwed up her face a little at the smell in here though.. it had been closed up for quite some time and needed airing out.. but the fire he built helped to chase a lot of that away quickly.. she sunk back in that pod chair.. the one she used to sketch in.. the one she used to knit in.. and ..well.. everything..he was right.. it was her favourite.. she pulled a few cushions over. she felt odd.. and weird.. it all just felt.. unusual.. and she didn't know why.. her eyes would wander over the interior of her little home.. the shapes she could see of the shelves filled with little coloured bottles.. the pots and cups.. the terrariums.. the plants and sketch books.. he returned back to her with that cup.. she blinked a little.. reaching for his hands to gauge just where it was less she drop it.. but she soon had it cradled between both palms..

she could smell the mixture.. the lavender and chamomile.. and something else.. was it honey?.. the colour of it though she could see was a bit on the weak side.. it made the corners of her lips twitch before she would take a small drink.. Oh it was a valiant effort indeed.. weak and sweet.. but it was helping none the less-.. Thankyou.. -she glanced across to him over the rim of the mug.. she settled back.. her attention shifted to the window.. the one that looked out the back of the house.. where you could see the pond and the edge of the forest.. she was quiet for the most part.. just curled up as best she could.. well kind of.. her legs were not behaving.. he wanted to step out.. to see if he could get something for her.. but did she eat?.. she paused.. blinked.. did she eat?.. -..uh.. -she felt that blanket being placed down over her shoulders.. -.. I.. I dont know.. I mean.. my stomach hurts a little.. and Im not sure why.. -it had felt odd off and on since she had moved out of that bed originally..- . and its making some weird noises.. which.. I dont think is terribly healthy ..- all of this was causing even more questions to rise-.. Im a bit lost.. -she sighed-.. I dont know..-she cradled that cup a little closer as it warmed her hands.. even going so far as to press it against her softly coloured cheek.. I'm ok.. -she glanced up to him as he stood behind her.. that gaze.. that rich blue and green lingered.. though.. he was still a bit of a blurry mess because he was so far away.. if he did slip out she would just pull that blanket around her a little more.. placing the cup down upon the side table.. a flicker of magic would have that window cracked open.. just to get a bit of a breeze in there.. to chase away the last of the closed up smell.. she just stared.. out at nothing.. just the trees.. the pond.. the sky.. remaining silent..

her head against the cushions.. when he was there though.. she would break the silence.. -.. He was there.. when I woke up.. -she swallowed.. her voice was a little better.. not quite as pitchy.. no where near as crackly.. so she was getting there.. -.. I couldn't see.. I still cant.. not properly but.. its getting better.. i can see things close up.. but not at any kind of distance.. just.. a lot of shapes.. colours.. but.. anyway.. -she exhaled-.. he told me you both got in a fight.. though there was not a lot of detail.. He told me I flat lined on the table.. that it was probably the reason I couldn't move much.. or see.. -she pulled the blanket a little tighter as she gazed out the window-.. I heard about Belles.. and how she will be placed in Hanalis temple.. -she offered a smile.. all be it small-.. as she should be.. Thats when I heard about your son.. -she took a breath-.. Im so sorry Diovan.. -she shook her head-.. Im so.. so sorry.. I tried So hard to hold on for as long as I could.. I really tried to save everyone.. I had no idea.. -her lower lip trembled as she sucked in a long slow breath to try and steel herself.. though she just didn't really have the strength.. not right now..-.. uhh.. -she swallowed.. clearing her throat a moment after that-.. He told me.. that when.. we.. -she motioned between them both-.. were talking.. uh.. outside.. he went to see Gia.. -her brows furrowed-.. the reasoning being to offer an olive branch.. or.. something of the like...uh.. -she was struggling.. her right hand rose out of the blanket as she rubbed it across her forehead-.. they kissed...and.. well. you get the idea.. he fell in love with her.. hard.. and he told me he was pretty sure he has gotten her pregnant..

-she rolled her neck a little.. she was uncomfortable.. but.. it was one of those things that.. if you were going to tell the story.. you had to tell all of it.. or you'd never.. ever truly heal.. -.. he told me all about her.. how special she is, how amazing and how good for him she is.. warm and funny and brilliant..-she flinched-.... I told him I loved him.. but that if it wasn't good enough to let me go.. that if I couldn't have his heart then he could no longer keep mine prisoner.. -she exhaled a shaken breath.. forcing it out-.. He told me he couldn't do this anymore.. that you were acid in his veins.. that you were killing him slowly.. how much he hated you.. before he went on to tell me about..the night.. we danced.. -she turned then to look to him.. or well in his direction-.. way back.. at the Hearts Celebration.. -her shoulders sunk-.. I did not know you both had similar costumes.. and neither of you told me this.. -she sighed-.. I thought it was you.. I honestly thought it was you the whole time.. -a pained look crossed her features-.. He told me I danced with him.. that kiss i shared.. was with him.. that he was going to be the one to bring me back here.. just to spite you.. -another breath.. -.. he told me he had gotten hooked up with Caela.. that she had pulled him to the side .. he had to find my brother when she saw that you had taken me home.. That Nautilous was the reason you did'nt come back to me.. He had beaten my brother so badly that he was left for dead and you.. You went to go and save him.. -her heart was throbbing in her chest-.. Thats when I got caught up with Aeson.. and.. the drugs and the poison and I was taken away.. my sister apparently told everyone I had run off.. and Nautilous supported her claims the whole time.. He had a hand in all of this.. -she suddenly felt a cold chill snaking its way up the lenth of her spine.. she pulled that blanket in tighter.. closer-.. all of it.. Please Diovan.. -she lifted her gaze-.. why didn't you tell me it wasn't you at the dance.. Please.. -she pleaded with him-.. please tell me..and I hate to ask it.. but right now .. I have been caught up in so many lies.. I dont know whats true anymore.. and it starting to really hurt.. please tell me you had nothing to do with any of it..

[Deleted]

Never would she have expected to be here.. in some random estate on the surface, but life seemed to throw its curve balls quite often.. and this time it was her turn to go chase it.. still the terms for it werent all that bad.. she got to see her Father.. sure she knew a little already about Thaylan before this but.. not he was so much more than just the guy that made her Mother smile.. he was her Dad.. and that was huge.. but she also had a job to do.. a chat was needed with her dear friend Rose.. the morning had come and she was feeling good and fresh and re-energised.. she turned the lanterns up a little more as you entered.. she didn't want you hurting yourself afterall.. -.. It was quite a trip yes, I wont disagree.. but it was worth it.. So worth it.. -she smiled.. she was almost beaming really.. -.. I came to see Thaylan.. and you.. but the former.. just blew me away.. -she settled down into the seat nearer to you.. her hands coming down to rest there upon her lap-. I found out Thaylan is my Father.. -she placed her hand across her heart- and Ill be honest I couldn't be happier about it all.. I know its a little.. well.. -she paused lowering her voice a touch-.. taboo.. what they have.. being siblings.. but..they are blissfully happy together reunited as they are.. and I could never judge them on that.. I adore my Mother with all of my heat.. I owe her the world.. and anyone.. Anyone that makes her smile the way he does.. is good stock in my book.. so.. yes I am a very.. very happy Drowess right now.. -sure there was drama there too.. and some things that were heart hurting but.. at the top.. was the news about Thaylan.. and that she was holding onto with both hands right now.. though in her moments of bliss she noticed something was not quite right with you..

the general air was thicker.. and you werent .. perhaps as light stepped as you usually were.. your words on dissolving the courtship made her shoulders sunk.. her hand rose to cover her mouth as shock registered-.. Oh Rose.. I am so sorry.. here I am gushing about my news and you are breaking right in front of me.. Do forgive me for my insensitivity.. -wether or not you said it was amicable she had a feeling that beneath the surface it might not be quite so.. simple.. her brows drew inward as she exhaled-.. There is a time to be nice Rose.. and there is a time to say youve had enough of all the bullshit.. -she reached across to rest her hand atop your own.. giving it a little squeeze-.. Im sorry that its happened.. but I have it in good authority.. that.. the gods will never ask you to leave something great without blessing you with something even greater.. -she was sympathetic and she really didn't feel experienced enough to be giving advice when it came to the heart.. but her Mother had told her a lot over the years.. explained a lot.. and a great deal of it did stick.. goddess help the man that entered her life.. they had one hell of an uphill battle to win her heart.. a change of subject was required in good measure and she brought up the fact that Gia was requesting her presence for a physical.. a scan.. she waa requesting Rose in particular as she knew just how talented you were.. her smile broadened when you agreed to go to Oxford-.. Wonderful.. Mother will be so pleased to see you.. I know that Thaylan and I are travelling out tonight.. toward Silverthon.. but.. I dont expect you to accompany us.. Oxford is on the way.. but you can port across using the webways at any point.. the decision is up to you.. and Jacob of course.. I dont imagine the physical will take that long.. but I also understand you are a busy person.. so does Mother..

-she nodded.. the last thing she was going to do was ask you to go into Silverthorn.. Gia already knew about Aeson through Adelaide.. its why Oxford was requested and not the castle proper.. it was a village.. off to the side.. the next thing she brought up though was the position that would become vacant once they settled into their new home.. The Matron would need a personal physician.. and the flock of people would require medical aid..it wouldn't mean they would be locked down.. they would have more freedom than perhaps they had on the surface.. but it would mean when those cycles came around they would be required.. all hands on deck.. it would be busy.. children were a huge deal in Menzoberranzan.. and the sooner the flock at House Navere grew the better.. she clapped her hands together when you said a thousand times yes-.. I am so excited.. Thankyou.. I have no qualms in you talking with Jacob.. yes of course.. Mother knew you two would come as a package deal more or less.. so.. whilst we were hopeful, we werent putting your names on the doors just yet.. -she listened when you spoke about Jacob.. about how you would need that bit of time.. but that you would possibly even come if he was not interested.. it showed her a great amount of dedication.. something she would pass onto her Mother.. - Oh yes.. well I guess when you mention it that way.. yes we would be similar.. a Priestess and a Paramour.. I guess the only difference is.. Paramours dont fight for their home..and they arent just women. a Priestess where I am from is the women directly beneath the Matron herself.. They rule and pass on the Matrons law.. her speeches.. her desires.. her wants.. everyone else is beneath them. We have a Matron Mother.. of course.. a senior priestess.. The Matrons remaining daughters are priestesses beneath her.. but.. Mother has unfortunately only had the one.. for now.. After those we have the male officers in the house.. The Weapons Master.. the House Wizard.. the Patron.. and then any male heirs.. and there are a great number of positions beneath that.. its a huge foundation of people that all work together for the betterment of the House.. a Matron is only as strong as her people.. it is her job to lift them up.. then they will protect her with their life.. I hope to have finished my training once we are established.. I am so close but.. we lost our House a little while ago and therefore it all halted..

-she nodded-.. Should it all fall into place we will hold a great festival.. and then The Running.. which i am excited about.. But first we must return to our roots.. and resettle.. Thats where you come in.. once we have situated our land.. -she tilted her head when you moved to stand.. asking to do a scan on her.. -.. Uh.. sure.. I guess.. I dont think I have ever had one of those done before.. -she laughed when you mentioned the bribery and she gave a shake of her head-.. Oh no.. dont worry Ill send you the bill.. for your services.. on me.. later.. -she shot you a playful wink as she moved to stand.. -.. Im not sure what you need from me?.. -she slid her hands down into her pockets.. -.. Oh but before I forget.. -pulling out a little velvet pouch.. inside were two gold pins.. they held a rather beautifully styled N on them.. -.. These will grant you access to the under dark.. you must wear them on your person at all times.. preferably on a cloak.. should you not have those they wont let you in without cause.. and honestly.. between you and me.. if you are caught down there without them you are likely to be kidnapped..-they had pale skin and they were doctors.. they would be lucrative-.. but.. do not fear.. these pins show you as being part of our home.. which means no one would dare question you or approach you with malice.. -she handed over the pouch and reached to pull on the tie of her piwafwi.. letting the thick magically lined fabric slowly pull away from her person.. beneath it she wore a simple dress.. it was navy blue and matched her hair.. strapless but with a delicate heart neckline..she clasped her hands together-.. Ready when you are Doctor Rose

N symbol on pin

Middle dress

[Deleted]

I guess Im lucky, being in the job I am in.. I get to hold those wee little ones quite often.. usually straight away.. but.. yes.. Ill imagine its a little bit new for you.. -he offered a smile there.. watching as you took the baby cradling it there close in your arms.. -.. Its incredibly fast Nautilous.. when you get there.. enjoy it.. every single moment.. I implore you.. they grow in leaps and bounds and before you know it.. they're out on their own.. -he moved in to take those measurements.. sliding that tape around the little girls head.. watching as she seemed to curl in quite comfortably against you.. before he took down what notes he needed.. it would be then that he would be struck with the news of his parents separating.. it came as a bit of a shock to him .. he had no idea .. they seemed happy didn't they?.. or was he just watching them through rose coloured glasses.. he listened.. nodding his head as he slid his hands down into his pockets.. -.. Sometimes no matter what we do.. no matter what we want.. it just doesn't work out the way we desire.. I admire that you want to step away and find out who you are..but.. Nautilous.. do me one thing.. please.. Forgive yourself.. Release the need to replay the negative from all of this.. over and over.. Dont allow yourself to become the hostage to your past that I think you will.. Otherwise you will constantly relive and probably re commit those same mistakes.. Dont remind yourself on what should have, could have or would have been.. just.. learn to let it go.. im not saying it will happen straight away.. but.. maybe work toward it.. Ask for help.. and Take it when its offered..

-he found it interesting that you even mentioned coming back.. was this a separation.. or simple a break?.. were you leaving that door open for a reason?.. did you have issues with commitment on both sides of the fence.. it was a curious thought and one he was not going to air.. not..right now.. he reassured you though that he wasn't going anywhere.. regardless of what happened between you and his Mother.. the hug was unexpected but returned with a smile.. wrapping his arms around you .. it was warm and necessary.. there was a lot of support.. and he felt it.. as well as gave it.. the last thing he ever wanted to see was the strongest man he knew breaking down.. -.. I love you too Nautilous.. always will.. -he smiled as he pulled back a little.. his hand reaching across to give your shoulder a squeeze-.. I will meet you there.. at that Hall of Records soon.. I promise.. We wll organise a time.. and get together.. and get it done.. -he really did want to connect properly with Nautilous, they had a lot in common and he had found himself looking up to you for as long as he could possibly remember.. they decided it would be time to correct this pale white eye though.. he had the time spare and well it seemed you had the eye-.. Ill be down in a moment.. ill just go put this little beauty back in her crib with her very excited new parents .. -he felt the hand to his shoulder and he looked up with a smile.. nodding his head.. he would collect little Sylwyn and take her back to Garrafin and Taru .. letting them know they could head off if they desired.. baby was in perfect health.. hugs were shared.. before he headed back down to the secondary surgery suite ..having been filled in from a few of the nurses that everything seemed to be in order.. the patient was hooked up, vitals looked good.. the replacement eye was waiting all he had to do was scrub in.. something he was very well experienced in.. having done it so many many times before..

his mask was set about his face.. tied behind his head by a nurse as he made his way in.. the replacement was.. peculiar .. a little odd.. he jerked back a little when he noticed it was indeed moving on its own.. -.. What on earth.. -he blinked.. the nurses backed off a little and he laughed shaking his head-.. Its fine.. real.. relax.. it's just.. different.. thats all.. -the clamps were put in place.. the patch on his good eye slid into position.. taped closed.. he would give it a little longer.. making sure the drugs were in and running smooth.. the last thing he needed was for nautilous to wake mid way through.. before he would get to work.. it was precise and delicate work.. one wrong move and he knew his future Father could be blinded permanently.. if all went well he would regain his sight.. but if not.. he would be back to square one with just the single vision.. it took some time.. well into a few hours to remove the faulty white washed eye.. looking at it closely he was curious as to how Nautilous was able to see out of it at all.. it was heavily scarred and tissue had begun to grow over it in an effort to repair .. it wasn't smooth and easy like it should have been.. but he would not give in.. the now empty socket was cleaned up.. any scar tissue was removed..he even went as far as minimising that deep thick scar that went up that side of his face.. drawing it in.. tightening it.. it wouldn't be gone permanently.. but it would be a damn sight better.

. the new eye fascinated him.. he glanced down at it for quite some time before it would be broken from its captive home.. it would be cleaned and each nerve painstakingly reattached.. it was slow.. precise.. his accuracy was paramount.. needed.. desired.. the nurses dabbed the sweat from his brow on more than one occasion..and he would step back every so often to stretch out his arms as his shoulders just burned from his positioning.. but..soon enough that eye would be slid into place...the lid would be taped down to restrict movement for maybe a few days.. a patch placed over top..before he would alert the nurse to remove the other.. he would have his sight in his usual eye no worries.. but the other would remain covered for now.. he stepped back from the table and exhaled long and deeply.. that was exhausting.. but it also felt so good to be able to do something like this.. for you.. after all the good you had done for him.. the nurses were thanked.. they cleaned up the dishes and tools.. the bed was wheeled to the opposite side of the room.. it would remain dimly lit but comfortably warm.. he would step out.. the medication would keep you under for a little while.. he'd step out of those scrubs.. back into his.. more casual neat clothing.. the slacks and shirt..

he would make a few notes upon the paperwork.. taking a closer look at the scarred eye.. it was all in the interest of science afterall.. and he was curious.. he knew not what had happened.. but it looked.. dangerous.. he would step out into the sunshine.. a cigarette.. a cup of hot tea ..he glanced in to where Sydel should have been.. only noticing the room was empty.. a trail of blood leading out into the garden.. his brow rose.. he put out the cigarette as he stepped inside.. turning off the softly beeping machine.. he called in a nurse to clean up the room.. curious as to where she could have gotten too.. he followed the trail.. out into the garden.. there were crutches down in the grass.. and then he noticed the ring.. the earrings.. he exhaled softly.. picking them up and sliding them down into his pocket.. the scent of ozone lingered.. he knew then that a portal had been used.. and he hoped.. she was ok.. he really did.. -

[Deleted]

Dearest Love


For in as much as I am in annoyance at how you shared our correspondence I do understand the reasoning behind it. I know you have feelings for this man, I know there is love for him in your heart and it is new, so very new. He is in a volatile state right now.. and I say that from a place where I can not see him to make a proper judgement.. please.. I implore you to keep an eye on him.. make sure he is ok..


His words on residing within Menzoberranzan for a few years perplexed me, I am curious as to what this means, for when it was written it followed wording on him taking us home and then saying goodbye. He has no ties here.. something is not quite right and its unsettling to me.


As for my advice dear brother, Im not sure if you remember the analogy I told you when we were children. The one about the cups we all held.. and how it was not possible to pour from an empty one.. his right now..has a huge crack in the side.. and it close to breaking completely.. he needs support..he needs to know he is needed.. that he is wanted.. and not for what he can give to others.. but for himself..

he has spent far to long in this life so far handing out help and being everyone elses anchor.. that he has forgotten to ask for aid.. I fear he doesn't know how to and that he fears it is wrong to ask.. He needs love, friendship, compassion,.. he needs something to strive for.. something to give him that drive.. that push to keep going. Be the red ribbon that holds his cup together Thaylan.


Till we meet


Your heart


-Gia

[BadInfluence]

"We both know that's not true... Don't put on a brave face, you don't need to, not with me." He said as he caught her up in his arms and carried her over to the bench, binding her wrist so that the blood would slow and stop, putting a bit of pressure on it so that it would cease sooner rather than later. During that time though he had gotten a proper look at her and he was really floored by what he saw, the pops of color and those beautiful eyes he had fallen in love with as a child, the freckles and the soft hue of peaches to her skin... She was beautiful, more so his love than she had been before, warm and soft and real... Alive... Beating heart and aching muscles... He asked what she was trying to do but he stopped, she didn't have to talk, what ever it was it could wait. He just held her for several moments before he felt he knew what she needed, lifting her in his arms he took some steps away from the bench before he summoned that portal up, revealing her home on the pond just on the other side. "Anything for you... Come on...Let's go home..."

It wasn't strange she'd be surprised, honestly he had been magically retarded his whole life, as soon as he could make the choice he told his mother to take it from him. He didn't want or need that power, he'd make it through this life without those gifts and he had, he'd done well... A few hiccups on the way but they were learnt from... "Even though I chose not to have magic I still took all the classes every child does, I watched everyone around me use magic, the tricks and trades of the craft. I could have used it easily if I wanted to but I kept that block intact but now... Now I don't need to. I know who I am and I know Magic won't change that." When he decided he was going to live rather than let himself die then that changed a whole lot of things for him, and given how many things he could have changed if he had had access to his magic in the past, well needless to say he wasn't about to do that one again.

It was a fluid move through the magical portal, it would have indeed felt like a soft caress, almost a hug as he traveled between the domains. Once there he slowly let her to her feet but not letting her go entirely, he'd let her take those steps herself, just with his assistance. He helped her across the bridge that he knew was there now, into her home on the water and he knew even without her making a face it smelled a bit moth-ball like, a touch on the neglected side but that was to be expected. He started up a fire in the hearth to chase away the damp and some of the smells once she was in her favorite seat, looking around for one of her blankets to cover her with, she had just come through hell and out the other side so he was going to treat her a bit like glass for a moment or two. Once she was settled he'd try to make her a pot of tea and while he knew what went where? His portions were wrong, not enough herbs and too much water, even a touch too much honey but he was trying. He was far better over a fire out in the wilds, fish and mushrooms on sticks and a skin of water from his saddle... Domestic life had never, ever, been his forte.

He didn't want to hit her with a ton of questions but she was so different than she had been and he wasn't sure what he could do to help. Did she eat now?Or was it still a blood diet? Or just... What did she eat now if she ate at all? "It's nothing really... I don't even think I did it right..." He said with a bit of a smile on his face as he scratched the side of his nose, a bit of a nervous gesture he had, always a touch unsure... Her words though told him what was going on and he smiled just a bit more as he came and knelt down beside her, his hand pressing soft to her upper stomach. "Hurts a bit here, right?" He'd ask, waiting for her to tell him yes or no before he'd pull his hand away, hearing the gurgling. "It is healthy, it's just your body telling you it needs food, we just don't want to let it make those sounds too much... Something light though, I haven't seen you eat since... A long time ago so we might want to keep it... Small... Light..." But what did one do? He remembered something his mother used to do for him when he was feeling a bit under the weather though, would that be good, he wondered? "It's ok... We'll figure it out together... Just don't try to walk and I'll be back, not far at all, ok?"

Stepping outside he stayed close, wondering if she still had that little garden in the back, hoping she did although chances were by now it was so overgrown... He crossed his fingers as he rounded the building and with luck there it was, a bit wild and definitely overgrown but it was still good, still thriving... He'd look at everything there and scratch his head, feeling a bit lost but he'd manage it, right? He'd totally manage it... He stuck to the berries, blackberries are blueberries, raspberries and strawberries, there was even a couple of small melons that were ripe... Cantaloupe and honeydew, watermelon too and shock of shocks some pomegranates too... He took his shirt off and tied the openings up and made it into a sort of sack as he put the melons in first before he'd get up all the berries too, the pomegranates and the random wild orange too... He'd come inside just as she was talking, running water from the pump to fill up the sink with that fresh cold water and set the fruits down into it, listening to her as she spoke...

"That's normal. You probably need glasses, Jacob and I both need them but for different reasons, he's far sighed and I'm near sighted." He wasn't about to mention his brother right now, for all that he figured he had been there he wasn't going to drag him into the conversation, not by his doing anyways. "You did flat line... I freaked out... I thought I was going to lose you too and I didn't take it well. I'd already lost you once..." Did he want to explain the fight though? Or what was said? Done? Instead he focused on the fruit in the basin, washing off any dirt of bugs, tossing out the fruit for the birds that had any signs of being a bugs snack at some point or another. "I roughed him up a bit and I can't say I regret it... As for Belles... Our son... Not just mine... Ours..." He said as he placed the good fruit in a bowl and poured honey on it, moving to cut up the melon before he'd place it on a plate and bring it all forward, setting it before her on the table there. Once he did though he moved to sit beside her chair and reached out, taking her hands in his and just held them warmly in his own, giving them a soft squeeze. "You were stronger and braver, more selfless than any of us Sydel, no one put in more work into keeping everything together than you did. You didn't fail... We failed you." And when she started to break down? He shook his head and reached out, lifting her into his arms and holding her in his lap, wrapping that blanket tighter around her as he just really gently rocked her... Let her lean on him while she got it out.

As she spoke though he realized he probably should have beaten his brother about ten times harder than he had. Still he didn't interrupt, he let her talk, to explain things that had been told to her. Only when needed did he speak. "Mother sort of did that to us... She abandoned him as soon as he could speak in Cairo. As soon as he learned about me, realizing I had both parents and he had none, I was loved and he wasn't it. I never blamed him for hating me." He couldn't blame him for it, who wouldn't come out angry and bitter finding that out, even a child at the orphanage gets shown SOME love. Nautilous only knew two things in the world. Money and manipulation. The dance though... That was news to him. He was genuinely shocked by it and it showed on his face, the confusion there as he paused for several moments, just sort of... Processing it? Absorbing it more likely. "I never knew it was him. I knew some someone else was being the summer stag to my winter one but I had no idea it was him, let alone that he and Caela were together, I only knew about him and Vanima..." Vanima had fucked his brothers head up badly too, gotten pregnant by him then forced herself to miscarry it, blamed it all on his brother... He sighed and raked his hand through his hair and he shook his head again. "I was talking with Garafin about Ace being there and my concerns on it cause I knew he was bad news... When I came back you were dancing with the summer stag and I freaked out... Waited until he was gone in the dance and took his place. It was me for the rest of the night until we came back here..."

The fact that she knew about her brother though... That sunk him a bit... "Caela told me if I helped her save your brother that she'd give me permission to marry you. She was the only reason I hadn't asked you before then, because she always told me no, no matter how many times I asked... I couldn't give up the chance to finally marry you." Though if he had known how bad it would go from there? He never would have done it, he would have let someone die even if that hung on his conscience forever, to save his love and be a father to their child? He'd have let a hundred people die. "I never knew it was him, he had told me when I left he wasn't going, that he and Vanima had something planned." He said as he shook his head again and gave her a hug so tight it almost hurt. "I swear to you Sydel I was never untrue to you, I never lied about anything, and I never had anything like that going on with your sister. My only dealings with Caela were asking for permission to marry you, that's it, I swear on my life." The things his brother had done? Had nothing to do with him. While he had failed a lot as a father and a lover he had never once played her false or loved another soul, his heart were entirely hers, always had been and always would be.

Gently he'd rise to his feet and carry her in one arm, settling her bowl and plate of food in her lap while he held her, walking outside and leaving the door open to air out some more... Settling down in the sun so she was warm and soaking up those rays. "You need to eat, even though I know your stomach is probably in knots, eat anyways..." He said as he held her, watching her to make sure she took bites of things, even if it wasn't a lot he needed to see her eating. As she ate he spoke, something he didn't often do as he was not a man of many words usually but there were occasions and reasons for everything. "What happened with you and Nautilous hurt you and I know you loved him but... I don't think he knows how to love back in a healthy manner. He sees women as people who want his affections but not his soul, they want the illusion of love without giving any back, he trades fantasies for gold and that's all he's ever known... The few times he ever did love someone they destroyed him... It was River first, a noble Jewess from the surface, she ruined his heart and twisted his head... He killed her husband for her and that was what had him tried and found guilty, to be executed, mother having saved him from that by bringing him here to Arvandor... While here he met Vanima and through Vanima he got tangled up with Caela... Vanima made him fall for her and they got pregnant but she forced herself to miscarry because it was a boy and blamed it on him... It was around then he probably fell in thick with Caela..." Timeline wise he was trying to work everything out... "Caela offered him revenge or something, I can't say what but they hung out a good bit, to the day that you disappeared and I didn't see them together anymore..." For what ever reason those two had fallen out it had happened none the less. He hadn't asked, he hadn't cared enough to ask his brother about much of anything at that point, he was far too heart broken over losing Sydel to Ace.

"I guess my point is that he doesn't know what love is, not something good or healthy anyways, he knows affection but... That's it. What you two had... It was in the past. You don't live there anymore, tomorrow is over and done, but you have today... You have tomorrow... You have a future..." Which was what mattered. Something he'd learned damn hard. He could live forever trying to be everything his mother could be proud of. Or he could live a life HE could be proud of. His mother lived a life full of tepid emotions, nothing too hot or cold, always balanced... As such he had done the same but it had done him no good, brought him no joy or happiness, nothing of value... So he wasn't going to do it anymore. Death had brushed him close enough to give him a good hard wake up call and that was the end of it for him. That old life was over... He had a new one now, something he could make with his own two hands, something.... "A future with me... If you still want me..." He said as he held up the ring on his hand, still there on his finger where it belonged, her request and her wish for him. "I love you, I always have and I always will, and I want to marry you... Good days or bad, every day I spend with you, it's blessing. But I also understand you might need space, time and a chance to go over everything inside your heart, inside your head... And I'll be waiting... I'll be here to help you along every step of the way if you'll let me. I promise, I'm not going anywhere."

[BadInfluence]

"Oh Anya, that is wonderful news, I am so very happy for you!" She said with a bright and sunny smile for her friend, happy that she had found something to make her heart sing. Parents were beautiful things, she'd always wanted a pair of her own, and while she had one still existing? She couldn't and wouldn't claim him, never ever, and that was just how it was. She had become the woman she was without parents and people felt she was just fine as she was after all. So right now? She just let herself be happy for her friend and the discovery of a part of herself she had been missing for some time. Though going on about it being taboo? She just smiled and shook her head a bit, tapping the side of her nose a little. "This doesn't go beyond us, ok?" She said and leaned in close to whisper in the space between them. "Jacob and I are related too." She wouldn't say how close but relation was still something seen as terrifically taboo so it was enough to find common ground. "We didn't find out until well into our relationship and we decided that we loved each other too much to give up what we have... It might be taboo but sometimes you find your heart beating in the chest of a relative. We have no choice or control over it, and I think love is far more precious than relations, worth sheltering and nurturing even if others might not understand it. I'm sure your mother and father feel the exact same way."

When Anya spoke on seeming like something wasn't quite right she just told her the truth, that she and Ace had dissolved their courtship, and under all her smooth demeanor it hurt. It HURT. But she held on, she forced it back, keeping herself busy was always the best option. It had gotten her through three miscarriages after all, it would get her through this one. "Don't you think such silly things Anya. I'm alright, really am I, I feel more guilty that this caused your mother to have to renegotiate with Silverthorn because of it." After all the deal had been brokered through her marriage contract with Aeson, when that all got dissolved so too did all the trade agreements, so she felt really bad about that honestly. All the same though when Anya said there was a time for things she suddenly just sort of spluttered and laughed, she hadn't thought about it or any sort of thing but for some reason it just struck her perfect, that right time and place. "Honestly? I'm hurt and I am REALLY pissed off, he broke it off in a letter Anya, a LETTER. L-E-T-T-E-R. Who the hell does that?! Honestly! But there's time to bitch and moan and that's not now, I'm just glad I'm not pregnant or I'd be in one hell of a state, no joke intended." [/b][/i] Still...It felt REALLY good to laugh and it showed her she'd find time again in her life for plenty of it. "I trust in that outside power but I've seen gods, I've heard them, but maybe because of that I have a hard time believing in them? Strange I know but there it is." She said but with that? She had said her best and that was that.

The offer though, oh now THAT was amazing, it lit a fire in her belly and she was more than ready to jump onto that adventure. However, this wasn't just her life, she had her fiance to think of too. Jacob had JUST gotten back from Naggoth after all, he needed some rest and relaxation, and together they both needed some time to be with one another. They'd spent the better part of half a year apart and she was more than a little fed up with the distance. She missed him, all the parts of him, and they had a lot to catch up on. "I'm so glad she thought of that ahead of time honestly. It would be really awkward otherwise." She said with a smile. Still though she wasn't lying when she said she would likely go down even if Jacob said it wasn't for him. The fact was this was more than just a golden opportunity, it was a dream and she knew he would support her in it, just as she would support him if the tables were turned. Still, outside of that one very traumatic event, she had a feeling she just might be able to sweet talk Jacob into coming down with her... They had a night time date after all, she'd just put a little extra romance into it, a little more... Coercion...

"I had no idea... Honestly this is incredible Anya, everything about the Drow is just amazing, all I want to do is just... Be a part of it. See how it works, the entire lifestyle, it's just... Beyond fascinating to me. I've wanted to go down since the first time Jacob showed me one of the unique fauna that grow there. Ever since I've been hooked, it's like the more I find out, the more I want to learn. It's a shame I'm not quite dark hued or I'd swear I have a little Drow in me." Laughing softly she listened to it all, it was just amazing really, how could anyone thing anything bad about the Drow? It wasn't that they were cruel they were specialized, they weren't harsh they were refined, they had taken a style of living forced on them by the act of a God and made it their own. They evolved, the only elvish race to do so, they became incredibly unique... And whats more? Many had learned to tolerate the extreme dark AND the surface world. Who else could say that? "Sorry I ran up but that's just... I can't believe this opportunity I am really beyond excited. I'll make sure I put in every effort to get my beloved to join me, I'm sure once I mention unlimited library Access he's be packing my bags AND his!" How incredible though... It was beyond intricate and from the little she could remember of the party? Incredibly fun. She knew it wasn't going to be wild shin-digs all the time, there was work too but what better mix than that? Work hard, play hard, it sounded like a dream.

"You don't have to throw a party for us but given how much fun I had at the last one I won't say no. But what is a Running?" She asked after she had requested permission to do a scan on Anya, after all she might want to make sure she could perform properly on the drow before she took the position, otherwise she would just be an ass dressed up in horse harness. She even offered a bribe but that cheeky bit made her laugh and shake her head. "tongue in cheek Anya! Tongue in cheek!" She teased as she would take that beautiful robe from her and put it over the back of a chair, her jaw dropping a bit at the dress, hands on her hips a minute. "Now THAT is a neckline. Drow have such amazing fashion taste..." She said with a sight before she would take the pouch with the pins and put them in her shirt pocket for right now, her brow raised at the fact that she and Jacob might be kidnapped, finding that all very interesting honesty. That made sense though, doctors alone were a vital part of any sort of city, they would be no different in Mezzoberanzan.

She'd guide Anya to lay on the bed comfortably before she'd rub her hands together, warming them up and creating a sort of magical friction, her style was very different compared to Jacobs... She'd start from Anya's toes and slowly move upward, golden threads spilling from her hands in the millions, creating a golden translucent blanket over Ayna's body as she went up. It was incredibly comfortable honestly, warm without being hot, a bit like being wrapped in a fluffy blanket that had been held before the fire on a cold day. As it spread up there would show multiple layers like sheets over it, each one a few centimeters over the other, each overlapping but meshed perfectly. Once it was all done it would hoover above Anya and allow her a detailed look at her own body. She would touch one of the layers and move it to the top, able to move it this way and that as she needed, and while it was a very physical representation of magic it was also massively and intricately detailed. "Starting with your skeleton first I can see that your wisdom teeth were pulled a couple of years ago... Going down you also suffered a small break to your arm years ago, likely when you were a child, maybe... Five or six?" She said, touching that part of the display and stretching it out a bit more, showing the nearly invisible mark on the bone where it had grown back thicker. "It healed beautifully though, you can barely tell anything happened, you have an excellent bone density..." She'd move the display a bit, going down the way and she could tell Anya wore corsets quite a bit, there was the pressing in of her rib-cage and a slight pressure on her organs but nothing serious. "Might want to wear corsets a little more infrequently though... Or don't go any smaller. If you do you're going to start to have trouble breathing." She couldn't tell you how many times she'd had fainting victims who had passed out because their corsets were too tight. Ridiculous fashion honestly but she knew sometimes it was just a must for all that.

Farther she went and she finished the exam of her bone structure, and outside of a small break and ribs pressed in a little close for comfort, there was just the slight pinching of bones in her feet from high heels. Totally normal. She'd go to the nervous system and this was her first good look at the way the Drows were and wow.... What a fucking picture! She made a duplicate of it to show Jacob later, stored in a little orb which she'd saved, otherwise she watched the display closely. "This might tickle a bit..." She said as she ran her finger along the shin bone of her leg and saw the way the nerve endings lit up like fireworks. "Fascinating... Utterly fascinating..." She was sort of lost in it for a moment, going from tip to toe as she gently touched other parts of Anya's body, with her permission of course as her mind jumped about all sorts of unique conclusions. "This is incredible... The Drow have almost double the nerve receptors of an elf in various areas, your eyes are one of them, I've never seen so many connections before... The feed back is just amazing..." There were more too, but those lead to areas she didn't think Anya was going to be to comfortable going over, a bit jealous on her part because the Drow really did have better sex. Just a fact.

Muscular came next and that was when she paused a moment and tapped the image a couple of times, seeing the different meshing of muscles to nerves, showing just how different the systems were in that way. "Nothing wrong Anya, your in perfect condition your mother did a really good job raising you, and you've done your part in taking care of yourself too." She'd be up for hours after this she knew it, she'd have to start a whole new journal too, maybe several... Likely several... The skin was the last one for her to check, and outside of a rather cute little love mark on a place she wouldn't mention? "You have a perfect bill of health. Top to toe you are in excellent condition. I feel confident that I can perform adequately for your mother and your people." She said with a nod of her head and dismissed the entire image with a release of magical pressure, little bit like popping a bubble,and if anyone really watched? Just about all her magic was formed around bubbles... Mostly because it was how she learned about magic... From Jacob and that beautiful fairy bubble with the butterfly in it that he had shown her so long ago.

"I'm going to start packing my things Anya if you don't mind? I would love to hang out and talk but honestly I'm incredibly excited. You can come with me if you want though, I'd really enjoy the company as I work?" If not she'd understand but for right now? She knew she HAD to go, just had to, from the simple scan she had taken alone she was utterly compelled to go. There was a WORLD to learn, a true and complete world, all she could do was just go with it. If Anya did decide to join her she'd happily take the company and start to pack things up, she hadn't brought a lot with her but what she had she knew was way too damn fancy, it had to be packed up and sent back to Naggoth and her mother. She had some of the more comfortable, functional clothes, she wasn't about to get dressed up in Mezzoberanzan. She was there as a doctor which meant she needed to be functional, not fancy, so she stuck to things like slacks and button down shirts. Simple shoes and some small kitten heeled ones... Nothing elaborate... Nothing high end. Anouke would likely be bawling to see her sending away so many beautiful things but... She did keep... One or two... Things that were special to her, things that would be worn for special occasions down in Matron Gia's kingdom, and of course things for behind closed doors with her and Jacob... She honestly couldn't remember the last time she wore lingerer for him... Ages... Far too long...

They'd chat about all and nothing as they packed, and if Anya wanted to see the letter she'd of course hand it over, the ring though... The ring was put in her luggage back to Naggoth... She didn't know what to do with it but she couldn't keep it around her, it hurt too damn much, one day when she was ready she'd figure it out but until then... There was no point... She just couldn't do it. "So Anya, I'm going to hazard a guess and say the scan your mother needs me to do is for pregnancy? Because I'm pretty sure given the way she and Thaylan have been looking at each other I really doubt they've been acting even remotely puritan." She said with a laugh as she worked, realizing she had a whole bag of gifts for people, realizing she could give them all as thank you gifts when she arrived in Mezzoberanzan with Jacob... Funny how fate can work out! "And what about you? Anything change? I know you said there was no one you fancied, still haven't met the Drow of Elf of your dreams?" She'd ask casually, just regular gossip between girls, the catching up of drama and intrigue.

[BadInfluence]

"I've settled into the fact that the chances are the next and only small ones I'll get to hold are my friends children and my own grand children..." After all the miscarriages with Sydel and then the mistake he made with Gia? He doubted he'd ever hold a child of his own ever again. He'd just make peace with that, there were some things in life that just are what they are, no matter how much we might wish otherwise. He'd been making this bed of his for years now, bout time he laid in it right? One of the hardest thing he had done today though was telling Jacob about himself and Sydel. They had been together for well over a decade plus and everyone thought they had it all on the surface and in some ways they did... But in others they were so extremely dysfunctional it was a wonder they had made it as far as they did. He honestly wished it could be different but the fact was that there just wasn't any way, not anymore, they'd both become too broken and couldn't build each other up... It was why he had failed her so hard and so often. Their issues? Weren't her fault, not really, he'd done it all to them. He was the one to blame, plain and simple and he owned it, he'd never learn or grow if he tried to pass the buck onto anyone else.

"I can try but I can't guarantee it. I have to own up to all my sins Jacob, all my mistakes and all the things I did wrong, if I just toss them to the side I won't learn anything... I won't grow." Jacobs advice was good it really was, but he was going to struggle with it no matter how hard he tried, he'd have to pay homage to the ghosts and ghouls in his closet because they'd been waiting a damn long time to bear vent. It was going to be ugly, violent, more than a little bloody but at the end... If he survived? He hoped to be a better, stronger man at the end of it, but only time would tell them the truth of that venture. "I can promise that I plan on learning from the mistakes and getting better from that knowledge. I'll try to remember to ask for help too... A lot of this is newer to me than Sylwyn is to this world, there is going to be a lot of changes and falls but I'll come out as best I can, that's all any of us can do."

The idea of coming back was real though. He was separating from Sydel but not divorcing her, not unless she asked for it, this was his way of trying to distance himself from everything... Everyone... They both deserved better than the other could provide right now and he thought it might be best to give them both space, time to figure things out for themselves, to grow as individuals. He was also hoping in that time the things between his brother and her got settled, that they either made it or they didn't, but he wouldn't be there to fuck up their lives or intervene... They were going to make or break it on their own and nothing else. Besides he knew flat out right now if he had tried to stay he would have killed his brother or been killed by him, there was no middle ground for them to stand on and now that Sybelle was gone, no buffer either. It was just time... All the same though he wished them well and would pray for them, though he had no idea which God might hear him, let alone be merciful enough to care for those two. The offer for the adoption was still on the table though, he did love Jacob with his whole heart, he wanted nothing more than to become his legal father but that was going to take the paperwork being done and he hadn't been sure if Jacob would still want to or not. Given it was still a green light though he offered to do it as soon as Jacob wanted, just happy that it was something he still wanted to do. "Give the word and I will be there come hell or high water."

The hug was given and shared, returned before they'd split up and Sylwyn was given back to her parents, he himself moving into the surgery theater to get all prepped up to under go the eye replacement. He had thought to leave a note about the eye, it was not a common organ after all, far from it actually but... Well you know, why not give his son a bit of a surprise there, almost like a prank it would keep everyone on their toes a bit. He wished he could have been awake to see it though, he was sure it was going to be insanely hilarious to watch them jump as the demon thing wriggled about on it's own, it was the closest replacement he could get but that didn't mean it wasn't going to put up a fight. His old eye though, it was in a state of continual repair, always trying to heal the damage but it was unable to due to the person who had wounded it. Sydel was not normal by any means, part daemonette witch elf and part Chaos god, the wounds she inflicted in the heat of battle would never fully heal. Hence all of his scarring. Anyone else? Wouldn't leave a scratch. But her? She left gouges.

Now here is where it would get fun for Jacob... Once his eye was removed it would begin to roll about on it's own just as the other had, using the optic nerves and muscles to push itself along until he would put it in the case the other eye had once resided in, and once in that space it would simply roll around. The new eye behaved well enough though, it didn't twitch or move once everything was being attached, but that eye color... Wasn't quite blue... Wasn't hazel or grey... It was more like a washed out version of indigo, that perfect blend of purple and blue that isn't quite one side or the other, more than a little disconcerting to some but hey? He couldn't be picky when it came down to a suitable replacement. It just had to work. The repairs to his scar though, now that was something he was not expecting, he had gotten used to it over the years after all. He'd had it since the moment he and Sydel first fought so you could have said it was almost a common thing... But having it removed? Was actually really good for him in a way... It would be something new, something to push him forward on a different course, a new face for a new man... And as Jacob would likely see he healed up quickly, what would take others weeks would only take him days, a trick he was going to be grateful for a VERY long time. Over all the surgery was a success but then what else could it be, given who had been performing it? Jacob was the best of the best and he knew he was in good hands, easily letting his body slip into a deeper rest that would linger for some time, well into the night so that when it was time to go he would be waking up refreshed and well rested.

[BadInfluence]

He knew he had err'd with Gia but it was for a good and worthy cause, and besides, imagine how much time and misunderstandings it saved? So many things could be lost when hearing it word of mouth versus straight from the source, and while he knew he was in deep trouble when they met up together, it was worth it. His last letter penned off to her was asking for advice, he was honestly worried, he had not seen heart break first hand and this seemed like a terrible disease almost... Like the flu, full of shivers and shakes, nausea and weakness... But this was emotional, mental, it wiped one out body and soul. Her words when they reached him were kind and full of lessons she had taught him as a youth, very important things that were vital to keeping one's heart and family strong, supported on a very solid foundation... Hold his cup together but... How did one do that? He was wonderful about being able to pour love in so that the brew could multiply like yeast and sugar together, to just grow and gain potency but mending a cup? He was not sure he was the best equipped for that... At best? He might be able to keep the crack from spreading but...

He packed all of his things up, including those which Gia had not been able to take with her, the wedding dress and family heirloom gifts for their wedding which... Well was being pushed back a bit but that was just fine, so long as they were getting married, well that was the most important part wasn't it? Everything found their way home through the web ways, and by home he mostly meant a central location of his own that he could return to in order to gather everything up, keeping it safe and secure for the moment. Once that was done and enough time had passed he had gone down to find Nautilous who was just starting to rouse out of his drug induced sleep, an eye patch over the blind eye which made him look rather high seas type, a naughty pirate after booty... Ok not that but it was rather charming to imagine him as such. He'd settle in beside him and slowly guide him to sitting up, getting a measure of how he was feeling and the like, quiet conversations between the two...

Dinner was had and shared between them before that was it, the fat lady was getting ready to sing and once Anya was down and ready to go the three of them would head out the wide double doors and into the garden area, the moon was just rising and the timing was perfect if he said so himself. He'd have Anya on one side and himself on the other, Nautilous between them as he was held close because that portal was going to be a bit of a ride with someone who's magic was currently on hiatus, the why and how of it was not known to him but he'd not pry. There had been enough of that done today... And just like that, the web ways opened and the three of them went through and on their way to Silverthorn in a flash, portaling in by the gates since the whole place was guarded to the nines... Better NOT to allert the mages that someone could portal in and out with ease, would make escape plans and spying a real bitch from that point on, agreed? From there they'd wait to be let in and shown to their quarters and the like...




Once everything was completed with Anya she had finished up the last of the packing on her own, giving Anya a good bye hug with a promise to catch up as soon as the two were together again, but until then? Wishing her good travels as she would watch her friend leave out the door to head off with her father and Nautilous to Silverthorn... Yeah... No she couldn't go there, she couldn't even think about going there, everything about it was haunted to her... There wasn't a memory of that place where he didn't linger and the pain was far too raw, too fresh for her to even think about tolerating, let alone openly going into. Instead she did her best to keep herself busy before she could go to Jacob, and this midnight star viewing, it just felt so cheated now... The whole day did in a way... She hadn't even gotten a chance to say goodbye to Taru and Garafin with little Sylwyn but at least she knew they got the baby gifts and the like so there was something...

Jacob? Melamin? Manke naa lle?" (My Love? Where are you?) She'd call gently in elvish as she was looking around the house for him, a large sack hanging from her shoulder that was full of everything she planned on needing for the trip and the first venture down into Mezzoberanzan until she figured out the in's and out's of the place a bit more. "I' re nae y' bit querne pelu ar' amin magha y' rooma nall- no..." (The day has gotten twisted and I could use a shoulder to cry on) She still couldn't find him right away, everyone else was gone and in this big old place she felt like a pea rattling around in a bucket, not exactly the best mentality for her right now. He must be up on the roof waiting for her, that was where she said they'd be going so she did just that, but she made sure to pack something up from the kitchen... What did she get? Absolutely nothing substantial sadly... She picked up fruity sherbet and berries and a bottle of ice cold wine as she went up to the roof, just carrying it all with the addition of two spoons, no bowls or glasses... Really roughing it tonight...

It was up there she found him, a rug all set up for them to lay on, the night sky was clear but it had that halo hue to it... It would rain before too long but they wouldn't be here for it... She brought everything over to him and settled it all down on the rug before she'd unceremoniously plop down beside him and just lay back, arms spread out as she looked up at the sky, wondering if she ever thought her life could make so many twists and turns... "A're can pusta amin..." (Today can blow me) She said with a huff and closed her eyes. "And elvish is NOT the language for cussing... Drow is much better but I hardly know enough to really give it a good crack..." Now common she could cuss if she REALLY wanted to but right now... She just felt really... Really drained. Like someone had dug a hole in her reserves and let everything just leak out. "I did get some really amazing news though, a job offer no less, the opportunity of a lifetime and it extends to you... If you wanted to come?" She'd ask, turning her head to the side to look at him, wondering what he might be thinking... What was on his mind? Today had been a sort of crazy wild shit show, hadn't it? And not just for her...

"To be honest... I really want to take it up too... Everything with Ace just ending so suddenly like that... Through a letter, no less... I just... I feel... I feel numb, empty and drained, cheated and angry... Nothing and everything in swings that leave me feeling exhausted... This job... It's come at a time where I really need it... But honestly... I will put it on the back burner if you don't want to go..." Hey, Rose, she thought to herself... Might want to tell him what the damn job is before you go rattling off on another crazy tangent huh? She chided herself and could have face palmed when she realized it. "Sorry... Just realized I haven't told you... Matron Gia Navare has asked me to be her personal Physician, to the noble Navare house and her people, room and board is included along with an incredibly handsome pay cheque. Plus we'll have open access to every library, every cave system, all the flora and fauna we could possibly want to imagine... We'd work in cycles, half on and half off, so we'd not be down there year round or anything... What do you think?"

What WOULD he think? Honestly? Would he happily join her? Or would he resist? Would he go willingly or would she have to coerce him a little bit? It was a gamble but she was coming to him as his partner right now and trying to see where they might hash it out. "I'm heading out to Oxford tonight to give her a physical. She's given us a few days to think it over before we decide but personally... I know I want to go. More than anything. The only reason I would pass it up... Is because you didn't want to come with me. Your the person that matters the most to me in this world and I just want to be with you, always..." And she hoped he felt the same... She hoped he'd be excited, delighted to go down to Mezzoberanzan with her... Because if not? She really wasn't sure what she would do next...

[Deleted]

The ride back through the portal had been incredibly smooth..and if she were of right mind she probably would have mentioned it.. she couldn't recall a portal jump with a secondary going quite that well in .. well a while.. there was always some kind of hitch.. or wobble.. he made her a cup of tea after settling her down onto the pod chair.. the blanket resting over her shoulders as she cradled the warm cup.. it was a little on the weak side.. and a little sweet.. but his effort meant more in that moment than the end result..-.. no.. no its perfect.. thankyou.. -it served its purpose.. her throat was sore.. like sandpaper sore.. so the extra honey soothed it.. and the warmth and calm from the lavender she felt right down to her bones.. so she held it close.. pressing the porcelain against her cheeks every so often.. the sensations she was feeling from such basic touches were almost surreal.. odd.. but..nice.. he had asked her if she was hungry and she was honest.. she really wasn't certain.. her stomach did hurt though.. an odd kind of aching.. and the noises it was making certainly made her brows rise.. her gaze shifted as she watched his figure kneel down beside her.. his touch to her upper stomach.. she nodded-.. mm.. about there yes.. you're right..-her head tilted to the side.. curious as to his diagnoses before yes.. she was told she was hungry.. it had been a very long time since she ingested food.. actually ate anything.. though Belles did regularly.. she'd been on a liquid diet for the better part of over a decade.. she rested back against the cushions then as he went to go find something for her..-.. oh.. dont worry im not going anywhere.. dont think i could even if i wanted too..

-she could probably crawl.. but walking on her own.. no.. weak as a kitten.. her gaze shifted to the opened window then.. to just watch the shapes shifting and changing.. she figured it was trees she was looking at.. and ripples in the pond.. the sound of his return caused her ears to twitch.. before she would begin to tell him her story.. her side of events.. what had happened when she woke.. the comment about her needing glasses made her squint-.. mm.. I dont recall seeing you wearing glasses.. do you often?.. -she'd question.. curious.. maybe he did and she just never noticed.. but.. then again.. she was coming to realise she missed out on a lot of things.. and she truly wondered how she had become quite so insular.. self centred.. selfish.. she rubbed her lips together and continued.. she'd heard about their scuffle.. nodding when he spoke on roughing up Nautilous and that he didn't regret it.. he reminded her though that the baby was their son.. not just his and she exhaled softly.. she had really tried hadn't she?.. in the end.. she tried to make up for all of it and unfortunately it just didn't go to plan.. feeling his fingers sliding around her own.. she curled to hold his.. -.. I wish I could have done more though.. -she just looked defeated.. -.. I mean.. there's just been so much loss lately.. -she crumbled there before him and he pulled her into his arms.. settling her back onto his lap with that blanket wrapped about her like a cocoon.. she rested against him.. her cheek to his shoulder as her lids closed over.. this was soothing.. he was comforting.. it just felt so nice.. but she was so torn as to wether or not she deserved any of it.. she told him about Nautilous and Gia.. and how much hate naut had for him.. it was so much information .. so much she passed on.. before the curtains were thrown open and that night.. that fateful night played out.. and how much of a sly hand Nautilous had in keeping them separated..

How Caela had gotten into his mind and just poisoned everything and everyone.. the stories matched up.. from both him and his brother.. that Caela had gotten him to go when her brother was suddenly so beaten up.. and then it was her turn to be taken out of the picture and then it all just went to hell.. she asked him then.. if he had any part in this.. she hoped not.. she figured not.. but with the way everything was going it was almost expected.. but he swore then.. he was never untrue.. he never lied.. he swore on his life even .. before he picked her up.. the bowl of fruit was resting there upon her lap.. she reached around to hold onto him.. her hand settling upon his opposite shoulder as she squinted when the early afternoon sunshine hit her once more.. she sighed when she felt the soft grass beneath her..the warmth of the sunshine upon her hair.. her bare shoulders.. her arms.. -.. Thankyou.. for telling me.. -she spoke quietly.. looking down at the bowl of colours he had nudged toward her.. the fruit.. the berries and melon.. her head inclined as she lifted it up so she could at least try and see what the bowl contained.. -.. mm.. -he was right.. her stomach was in knots.. and it was probably because of everything going on And the fact she needed to eat.. she plucked up one of the raspberries.. feeling the soft bumpy texture between her fingers.. she studied it a little.. turning it over.. piercing one side of it with the tip of her nail as the juice spread across her finger tip.. it was sticky.. it smelt sweet.. she popped that finger between her lips.. .Oh.. well that was unexpected.. it was a little tart.. sweet but with a certain zing to it.. -.. Oh.. thats quite nice..

- it was soft and continued to bleed out juice in her mouth which was intriguing.. she listened as he spoke.. that Nautilous did not know how to love back.. she paused..-.. But what if I dont know either?. -she exhaled-.. what if I dont know how to love back in a healthy manner?.. -she clawed at the corner of her lip for a moment.. -.. I mean.. I dont know.. I.. -she took a breath.. looking down into the bowl of berries-.. what if I am the problem here?.. -it was a legitimate question.. she had grown up with a seriously screwed up childhood.. her first love.. being him was shattered before it really began.. and then everything changed.. maybe she was the common denominator.. realistically.. in one night both brothers had come at her guns blazing.. telling her she needed to show love.. she needed to be real and honest and stop tormenting them.. but in those last few months.. she wasn't being deceptive.. she was real and honest.. and trying so hard.. she just happened to be propping up Sybelle at the same time which was running her a bit ragged but.. maybe she didn't know what love was.. or maybe she did.. and she had just missed her chance for it.. so very long ago..

she rolled one of the small blueberries along her palm.. he spoke on the past.. the present and the future.. how she had one.. a future with him if she still wanted it..she looked up to him then.. that striking blue and green gaze.. well.. she couldn't see worth a damn but she knew he was right there.. he was holding up his hand.. and she could kind of make out the ring.. she reached across for his hand.. her fingers traced over the band she had sent to him.. the one she had given him in a quiet proposal.. -.. I think the question is more.. Do you still want me Diovan?.. -her head tilted to the side as she felt the warmth of his fingers against her hand.. -.. Im not perfect.. I make mistakes.. ive made So many mistakes.. Ive hurt you in the past.. I'm a little bit broken.. a little bit scarred.. I could spend the rest of my life trying to make up for what ive done and still not quite get there.. but.. I would try.. so hard.. -she exhaled a little.. - I do want you Diovan.. I want us.. -her brows drew inward a little-.. I want to be more than your sometimes.. I want my friend back.. -she got a little teary-.. I miss him.. terribly ..

[Deleted]

She really enjoyed spending time with Rose.. not having had a lot of friends from being shifted around a lot it was just nice to have a face that was familiar.. and someone with a ind heart.. she was excited when she shared her news.. that she knew now who her Father was ..and to top it all off.. her Father was head over heels in love with her Mother.. Ahh the family would be bursting with love and care soon enough she knew it.. she tilted her head though when you leant in closer to whisper.. soon finding out that Jacob and her were related also-.. Oh Wow.. -she pressed a hand to her heart there and smiled-.. You two are so precious together though.. how you two are related is not important.. -she felt horrible soon though when she found out what a hard time you were going through.. the whole thing with Aeson.. it broke her heart a little and it showed there upon her face when she offered her apology.. -.. Oh Mother is fine.. really.. -she worried the corner of her lip a little-.. I think she welcomed the distraction to be honest with you.. something happened here.. I.. well its not my place to go into it.. but.. Silverthorn and having to re-negotiate.. it was a good thing.. I promise.. -her brows furrowed when you mentioned Ace having chosen a letter for his means of communication.. she audibly gasped-.. No!.. Nooo.. no he wouldn't.. are you serious?.. -her hand rose to her mouth.. she was quite stunned by that-.. The audacity.. I mean really..

-she gave a shake of her head-.. I am not surprised you are angry and hurt.. I would be too.. Im sorry you have had to deal with that nonsense.. -a subject change was required and necessary .. she brought up what her Mother had requested.. the job.. the position to work as a physician within House Navere once it was settled and running, it was on a cycle basis.. they would have a great deal of freedom outside of that and would have full run of libraries and the cavern system.. pretty much everything .. they would be in demand afterall.. she knew it.. Gia knew it.. and she was so excited when Rose wanted to accept.. she clapped her hands together and her smile only grew-.. I think its fantastic.. and Il get to have more people around me that I know!.. Its wonderful and I will be hoping that Jacob says yes too.. keep you two love birds close together...-she moved to stand.. removing her piwafwi as she settled down upon the table as instructed.. she wasn't sure what this was going to entail but.. she trusted you.. completely.. her lids half closed at the warm soft feeling.. like a blanket all snug and comforting.. listening as you spoke about her wisdom teeth and then the break-.. Oh.. yes.. that was a long time ago.. I tripped and fell.. whilst under the care of Valkryn..Mother just about Murdered him.. I dont remember much about it.. but I remember her and Valkryn fighting.. I was whisked away to the best care she could find.. I guess thats why it healed so well.. Im glad to hear there's no further damage though.. its never given me any grief since.. -she gave a little nod.. she laughed when the corsets were brought up-.. yeaaah.. I might have been trying to emulate my Mother and my Aunt a little too much.. for when the courts come round the corsets are worn.. Ill take on that warning though and... maybe give them a bit of a rest for a while..

-she watched as you continued to scan her.. the fascination with nerve endings and muscle-.. I guess thats why we have so much trouble in the sunlight.. it's just too sensitive?.. and why I can see so well in the dark.. mm.. -she nodded.. it was wrapped up soon enough and she slowly moved to stand.. pressing her feet back into her low heeled shoes as she reached for her cloak once more-.. Perfect.. Mother will be so pleased..-you said you were going to start packing and asked her to tag along if she wished.. she did just that.. moving along behind you as you moved back to your own chambers.. she sunk down into a seat off to the side.. not getting in the way as you fluttered about like a butterfly.. she was rolling a small glass bubble around in her fingers.. just toying with it when you asked about Gia.. and a possible pregnancy-.. mm.. that was my thought.. but I dont know for sure.. like.. Ive never had a sibling.. I dont remember Mother being pregnant in the whole time Ive been here.. and its rare for me to not be around her..but then again.. Maybe she was just waiting for my Father.. thats kind of romantic really.. -she smiled-.. that she waited.. all this time.. but I dont know.. I guess you will find out soon enough..-her attention returned to the ball there before she let it disappear.. -.. . must be the day for it.. Father alluded to a very similar question just last night.. no.. still no Elf of my dreams.. -she laughed and shook her head-.. not yet anyway.. maybe one day..but im still quite young.. there's no rush.. Maybe ill find one who takes my fancy after we re-settle.. but im going to leave you to finish this up.. Im going to go and find Thaylan.. make sure all is well..we will be heading off here this evening.. heading over to Silverthorn.. I wish you all the best.. and I hope to see you both real soon.. -they would share a hug before she would slip out the door.. -

[Deleted]

He had been a little bit lost after the surgery and everything else.. his mind took him on a bit of a wander.. a quiet solo walk around the estate gardens.. he had read the letter from Ace and whilst it hurt.. he half expected it.. things had taken a but of a turn when he had gotten back andhe wasn't even sure what had happened whilst he had been away.. but a distance had grown.. at first it seemed small.. almost insignificant.. but as the days wore on.. it became more and more apparent that..Ace wasn't happy.. so whilst his heart was heavy he had grown to understand it.. the two of them had been on and off again more times than he could count.. the first time this happened it broke his heart.. but as it came about.. he come to recognise that Aeson was not one to settle and possibly never would be.. but he worried about her.. he really truly worried about how she was going to take this.. he had suffered heart break on monumental levels before.. she.. had not.. as the night wore on he moved up onto that landing where they were going to meet.. the soft rug for them to lay on.. a few pillows and a couple of blankets..

he had no idea what this weather was going to do.. it looked a little all over the place.. soon though she appeared.. and whilst he could tell she was down.. she still had a slight spring to her step.. she plopped down beside him and he pulled her in against his side.. his arm snaking around her to just hold her.. a quiet chuckle sounded when she said the day could blow her.. -.. Its certainly been one hell of a roller coaster today.. I will agree with you there angel.. -he spoke softly.. hie elbow was resting down upon the blanket.. his head to his opened palm as he looked to her.. -.. Well now that sounds intriguing.. an opportunity of a lifetime you say.. do tell me more.. -he softly stroked his hand across her hip.. it was an idle caress.. just enough to let her know he was there.. and she could lean on him.. she spoke about the position.. and how it had come at precisely the right time.. before.. finally.. Finally going into detail about what it was.. it was with Gia.. a personal physician for the Drow.. down in Menzoberranzan.. now.. he really wasn't sure about heading back down into the under dark.. especially with what had happened to him in the past.. it was like a sting.. deep down under his skin that would never truly go away.. but.. he could see the sparkle in her eyes.. he could see this was something she really.. really wanted to do.. she was excited about it..he reached across for her.. his warm hand cradled her cheek-.. It sounds like quite an opportunity yes.. and something that you would be crazy to pass up on.. I never want to be apart from you.. ever.. so I will go with you.. I want to be with you Rose and that means where you go.. I go.. I just might need some time to adjust thats all.. might take me a little longer than the rest.. but.. the fact you have trust in this family means I do as well.. Anya was the one to help me out when I got caught last time.. and I know what happened was not the Houses fault.. it was the work of two people.. and I could never tarnish that family name for something like that.. ..-he leant in then to brush his lips to her forehead-.. We are in this together love.. Just you and I against the world.. and ill be honest with you.. I wouldnt want it any other way.. Ill tell you what though.. Im pretty bloody excited to get my hands on those books in their library..

-his smile broadened before he shot her a wink .. she knew full well how much he just devoured knowledge.. and he had done so for pretty much every book that existed on the surface and then more than his fair share in Arvandor.. - I say lets do this.. a new step.. something exciting.. something different.. I had a lot of time to think today.. and your opportunity couldn't have come at a better time.. I have been thinking about pulling away from the University.. from the Council.. its.. its becoming a bit too taxing on us.. and.. -he exhaled.. reaching down into his pocket as he pulled out Sydels ring.. turning it around upon his palm there as he showed it to her-.. I learnt today.. that.. you cant neglect what you find is the most important thing in your life.. because one day.. it just wont be there anymore.. -he sighed-.. Nautilous came to me .. just before his surgery.. and he told me he was leaving my Mother.. that he couldn't continue on the same path they were on.. they were going in different directions.. I.. -he paused-.. I dont know.. like.. I was saddened that he felt he couldn't come and talk to me about it.. because I honestly had no idea this was going on.. like I knew it wasn't always roses but.. really I thought they were in it for the long haul.. something happened.... He looked utterly shattered.. he was so worried that because he broke it off with her that I wouldnt want anything to do with him.. I told him no.. that it didn't work that way.. I'll always see him as my Father.. he's been there for me.. even before Sydel came into the picture so.. I dont know.. those two breaking hit me harder than the letter from Ace if Im completley honest..

-he scratched against the back of his neck lightly-.. I went in to check on her.. because she had obviestly woken up.. but she was already gone.. thats where I found the ring.. someone had ported her out.. Im going to wager it was Diovan.. since I couldn't locate him either.. I really hope she is ok.. -his hand came down to rest over hers.. giving it a light squeeze-.. You are so important to me angel.. you are my life.. and i couldn't bare the thought of losing you.. ever.. so ..to this.. to all of this.. even with my fears.. I say yes.. I say yes to being with you.. to being at your side.. even when things are tougher.. because I dont want safety if you arent with me.. I want the wild ride that is you and all that comes with you. Gia must think incredibly highly of you love to have offered you that position.. its usually only ever offered to Drow.. and I couldn't be prouder to know you.. to love you.. You are a jewel.. so precious to everyone you come into contact with..

[Deleted]

.. when they arrived at the gates it would be Ryker who was waiting.. dressed in all his chivalry, a stunning young man who clearly knew all about fashion and colour coordination.. his smile was as brilliant as the jewel in his crown.. he made the guards part the gates.. allowing the trio access.. Anya had been a visitor before and the other two.. Nautilous and Thaylan.. well they were in the Kings employ.. no one would dare to approach them again after it was made known they were in the grounds.. They would be ushered in through the castle grounds.. past the wizards.. the rebuild was in process.. to repair what that explosion had caused.. it was taking time but they were getting there.. that weather machine though.. that was taking a lot longer to repair and replace.. there was three suites.. all down the western side of the castle grounds.. they would not be disturbed there.. Anya would have the one far off to the side.. then there was the one Gia had been staying in.. and one attached to that where the boys could settle.. it was rich in wooden finishes and velvet fabrics.. a room fit for men with purpose.. there upon the small table top 2 bottles of Deathshead.. venom laced of course.. glasses.. maybe a few pouches of powder.. and a note from Gia




Do relax, settle in and get comfortable..


I am in Oxford for a few more hours, I have an appointment with Rose. Its time to get those answers, once and for all.


Access to Splinter is via the door with the velvet knotted rope.. I figured you two might need a distraction.


Stay safe


Gia

xx

Mens Chambers 1

Mens Chambers 2

[BadInfluence]

It wasn't perfect. He knew it wasn't perfect because he'd had perfect before, but the fact that she thought so still meant the world to him, it was still something to learn but at least he was taking that first toe-dip in the pool of learning some basic domestic skills. "Hopefully you can teach me some of the things that help in moments like this... You always made the best tea in the world but I couldn't tell you what went into it to save my life." And he was sure some of those teas had definitely done that for him a time or two too. Would she take time to teach him though? It would be beneficial to her too in the end, he'd be able to help her out with a lot of things, or at least take care of her at the end of the day. Of course, this was all thought out with the idea that she'd still want him, to be with or around him. If she didn't... Well what point was there in learning the domestics? He could camp like a King, he'd just stick with what he knew, no more no less. Her stomach though, that did have him curious as he drew close and pressed softly over her upper stomach, and her confirmation with the sounds? Yeah... Definitely hungry. "You're so much stronger than you seem, you know that right? Even right now I know you could do so much if you had to... I just don't want you to feel like you do. I'm not going to take care of you like you can't do it yourself... But I want to care FOR you.. Might seem weird but there is a difference to me." He'd said before he left to go and find something for her to eat, pickings were slim with things on hand, he flat out refused to leave the property proper. He'd done so before with disastrous results. He wasn't about to repeat the process...

Luckily the garden still existed, more than a bit wild and overgrown it was still serviceable, allowing him to pick a little bit of everything that was on hand. Berries and melons, the perfect summer food and it would help to ease off her hunger pangs, plus having the added benefit of not being too heavy on her stomach. He wasn't sure what she could take right now and if she had to throw up well then at least this wouldn't be too hard on the return trip. Their talking was good though, it cleared up some dust and smoke that had been lingering, the ashes of what had fallen out of the earlier events. "Only if I am going to read or do anything that requires detail. I see best far away so it's perfect for archery and ranging, my vision goes much farther and is clearer than most in that way, sort of a benefit but... If I were to try and read a map or some form of writing on paper it would all just swim before me, a foggy blur of squiggles and shapes, couldn't make heads or tails of it." He said as he worked, patting down his shirt to see if he could find them, the pair of very simple black wood frames he kept on hand. Luckily enough he did have them today so he was able to put them on as he walked inside to wash the fruit up, discarding what wasn't good enough for her to eat in his mind, leaving it out for the birds and other animals to enjoy.

Talk turned to their loss and she seemed to think that she hadn't lost the baby, just him, like it was a singular event. THEY had lost the baby, not just him, it was her son too... She suffered the loss all the same as he did, the only difference is that he was open about it, but she had her guard up... And part of that was his own fault... He'd just wanted to push open her door, instead he had gone way too hard, busting the poor thing clear off it's hinges... "Life is loss and gain. If you had too much or too little everything is out of balance. Right now, we've suffered loss between us, but that doesn't mean everything is all bad..." He could tell her a thousand times but she'd still feel like she hadn't done enough. This wasn't something he could fix, this was something she had to sort out on her own inside herself, all he could do was make sure she felt loved and safe enough to do so. As such he had picked her up within the confines of her blanket and set her outside in the sun, allowing her house to finish airing up as he held her in his lap... Hands around hers... "Life closes one door so it can open one that is so much better... We lost a son but we don't know what lays in the future, we might not be meant for children and that's alright, no one ever said children equaled a happy healthy marriage. All I want, more than anything else, is to see you smile. That's all I've ever wanted." Jacob had been a shock, a blessing, but he wasn't planed or even thought of.

Unlike his son or his brother he wasn't baby crazy. Sure, it was a nice little fetish to toss about in bed sometimes, a kinky little fantasy to whisper when things were hot and sweaty between the sheets but it was never ever a must. If it happened? It was a joy. If it didn't? It was just meant to be. So long as she was healthy and safe? That was all he needed to be happy. As the moments went on though she told him all she knew, the things she had discovered, the things she had hidden... The good, the bad, the ugly... It was all laid out between them before she brought up her own fears, her concerns that he might have been like all the others in her past, twisted and deceptive. He could easily swear on his own life that had never been the case for him, he was aware of what had gone on to a certain extent, going into more depth in some areas where he had more information than her... He knew more of the things behind the scenes in certain ways about Nautilous, and the trick with his brother was that on one hand he sincerely wished the man had never existed, but on the other he felt so sorry for the life that creature had been forced to live... Like a dog constantly used as bait in dog fights he had no idea how to act outside of certain triggers, he had no real grasp on anything good or healthy, everything was tainted with dirty water for him... "I'll always tell you anything you want to know. Fact is I know there will be parts, things I've done or said that are horrible, but that's ok. That's the past, I am not that person anymore, I've learned and evolved form my mistakes and that's what matters. Hiding things from you won't do either of us any good."

Watching her play with her food a bit was cute, he found it pretty fascinating honestly as he just settled onto the grass to watch her, the textures and firmness for each one had to be pretty amazing after avoiding it all for so long. "I like them in tarts more than straight... The zing always makes me sneeze." He said with a grin as he just watched her for some time more before they'd talk about love and honestly, he spoke his mind on his brother and that area of his life, the whole thing was more complicated than a crows nest... Threads of this and that all tangled up and twisted, knotted and bound in a way that was impossible to undo, you could only break it apart to unravel it... Her words gave him a moment of pause, giving them time to think as was deserving of what she had said, her questions and concerns were important to her... They were something resting heavily on her and that was what meant he needed to give it ample time before he'd reply. When he did though? "If you were the problem it wasn't a one way street... The fact is you both tried... A lot... But you both failed. It wasn't your fault... Wasn't his... Hanali wouldn't have allowed you to marry if it was never going to work out... It's not how it works..." Hanali would split a couple up long before that point, no this was something else, something that was... Well... The crows nest... "I don't think you had a chance to learn... I tried to show you but you were under Caela's thumb all the time you never got to grow on your own... The good news is... Is that you can learn to love... To be healthy and happy, to understand how to set up boundaries and safe places inside yourself so that you don't give everything you have and not have enough given in return, so you keep that perpetual balance..." He only knew through years of watching others, not even his own mother and father were terrifically healthy, his mother lived for his father with everything she had and his father was very... Calm... Placid like a still lake... But he'd seen love in a whole bunch of shapes and styles, young love and old love, love against all odds and love that was lined up to be perfect from birth... He knew what it looked like, knew most of the ins and outs, he just had to go through it himself...Completely with someone not... Shared like a trapeze act...

The fact was that everything though in the moment? Was in the past. All the mistakes, the hate and the rage, the anger and the betrayal... It was behind them, it couldn't touch them but it could teach them if they chose to learn from it, to grow from it and move past it... He was choosing to move forward, take the mistakes of his past as lessons, to grow so that he wouldn't repeat them again if at all avoidable... The ring on his finger? He meant it. He accepted it, he wanted to be real with her, to take up what they should have had. "I've always been here... Always will be..." He said as he pulled her in close and kept her warm, making sure she was always in the sun so that she could soak up all that feel good power that comes from being in the sunlight. "Broken things are meant to be fixed, scars are natures artwork on our skin, and pain is just a tool life uses to teach us... I want you Sydel, I want us to get what we didn't have before, I really want to work on this life with you... We fell in love years ago but now... Well now we have a chance to act on it... Bit of late bloomers we are but some of the most beautiful flowers always are..." He'd said before he'd dare to kiss the crown of her head, his hands gently rubbing up and down her shoulders as they watched the water, the flowers moving in the gentle breeze... "You were never my sometimes Sydel... You've forever been my Always, and forever that is what you will remain... I have my issues too, like I can't perform in bed without some measure of pain being inflicted, I struggle in public situations with strangers of large groups... Sometimes I talk too much or I barely talk at all for hours or even days at a time... We both have things about is that we see as bad or less than desirable... Doesn't mean I'm broken... It just means I'm different... And I just hope that, as we learn more about each other and how much we've changed becoming adults, that we fall in love with all the new different things we find..."

[BadInfluence]

Admittedly she hadn't been moved around as much as Anya but she could easily understand how it felt. As an orphan on the surface there was always something going on, someone left after either aging out or getting adopted, sometimes they just died from things like yellow fever or tuberculosis. It was always something different, you learned not to get too attached, it was just going to hurt more in the end. Still Anya was a sweetheart, genuinely good and kind, something she knew she used to be... But lately something kept pulling her farther and father out to sea, she was still herself at her core but the outer layers kept shifting, getting darker or stranger... With all her heart she sincerely wished that Anya never have to go through that sort of thing like she had. She just wanted her friend to be happy no matter where life took her. The confession about Gia and Thaylan being related was cute though, no judgement on her part what so ever, in fact she had leaned forward and confessed to Anya that she and Jacob were also related. Sometimes the heart that you are meant to be with just comes out in someone within your same genetic pool. "Thank you Anya you're such a sweetheart. He's my soul-mate, my other half, I couldn't imagine living a day without him." After all in the end? It's just genetics, right?

The truth about Aeson came out though and honestly she had felt really bad for Gia having to go into it and renegotiate. It had all been so neat and tidy, a done deal with no lose ends, perfectly drawn up and written out. Then Ace had to just...No... No she wasn't going to let herself go down that road... It hurt far too much. "It must have happened at the party, what ever it was, I don't remember a whit of it outside of having a damned good time honestly... But Still, I'm glad that this came at a good time, distraction can be one of lifes greatest blessings when certain events arise." Like her... Right now she was more than happy to be busy, busy was good, busy was sanity... Though all the same she did indulge in a small bit of righteous gossip, what woman wasn't entitled that, especially given what had happened to her. Getting dumped by a letter? And on the heels of him pushing her to be honest... It was like salting the wound before squirting in some boiling hot lemon juice for good measure. "Adelaide warned me to keep an eye out, Ace was flightier than a sparrow in a house full of cats, she feared this might have happened just... I really didn't think it would. Mothers always know best though, even if they aren't our own." [/b] At least through the time with Ace she had gotten on very friendly and open terms with Adelaide, so that had come with it's own boons.

All in all though as the conversation drew on and offers were made, she knew she had to take it up, even if it might be hard going this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. The only thing that might hold her back? Was being apart from Jacob. That was the ONE thing that might hold them back and she sincerely hoped that he might let his thirst for knowledge and the chance to discover new things pave that terrifically rough road that lead to the Drow for him. "Aww, Anya! You're terrifically cute you know that? When all is settled I'm sure the girls will want to visit too and see you showing off all the new fixings. I'm sure Anouk would virtually sell her flight wings for the spider silk that you only find down in Mezzoberanzan." She said with a smile before she'd ask to do that scan on Anya, it was better to make sure that she could do the job she was going to be hired on for, otherwise everyone was just going to look like a prime and proper ass. As she went through the scan she noted some of the incredible differences between the typical elvish body and the drow, some things were the same but others were extraordinary, unable to help her excitement at this point. "She should have, I read about him, he seemed like such a drag queen without the fashion sense..." She scoffed lightly, but then again she knew about him from a certain mans memoirs, chances are the view might be slightly skewed. "Keep in mind though genetics play a big part if your ability to heal. The best doctors can't give someone good bones Anya, that my dear, is all you." A couple of warnings were issued, Corsets while needed sometimes were a danger and Anya was tightening hers a bit too much, chances were if she tried to go down to that 16 inch waist she was going to faint dead away. She already had such a pretty figure as it was, there was no need to go that small but she had seen SO many cases of it lately, that number was just all the rage right now. THE fashion type thing.

The nerve endings were fantastic though, seemed that not only had they adapted to live in a harsh and dark environment but they were also done in such a way that the body felt more pleasure in general, specially through sex which would definitely assist in ensuring there were lots of baby. Hard to say no or think of protection when it could feel THAT good. "That's exactly why... But these can be turned off with practice and turned back on when needed, sort of like turning off and relighting a candle, your nerve endings can learn to adapt to both environments if you needed to." She had to ask though, now that she knew she could do a proper job as a Doctor to the drow, was this in regards to Gia being pregnant? She had a feeling it might have been but Anya knew no more than she did. She was right though, she'd find out when the scan came around, for right now though she had to pack everything up. Still, at least she had company for the most part, she enjoyed the chatter while she worked. "I didn't grow up with any either so I know the feeling. But it would be pretty fun, right? You're grown now so you can handle this little baby without feeling annoyed or displaced by them, all the good parts of being a big sister without the drawbacks, it's going to be amazing for you I know it." She said with a smile before she'd ask if anyone had taken her fancy and she just smiled and shook her head. "Perhaps so! I just wonder because at some point I'm sure there might be a betrothal arranged between houses. I wish you the best of luck and if you find one and it falls out, let it not be done by letter and if it is? Well then you and I will get utterly smash faced three sheets to the wind drunk and commiserate about how horrible men can be." She said before Anya would part to go and handle her own things, gratefully taking the note with the address in Oxford where Gia would meet her up at, the time settled and everything.

Packed up and ready to go she would leave her bag by the door before she would go and find Jacob, searching around for him a bit before she'd discover him up on the roof, rugs all set out for her while she had brought the snacks... OR rather... Sugar in various forms... Did she have a slight spring to her step? She did... Because it meant she was able to stay busy but when things slowed... When she didn't have something to keep her hands or her mind occupied? Then that was when she would worry. For right now though she was doing a very good job at keeping it all away from her... For now... "At least I got to ride it with you. Makes even the worst days have a silver lining knowing I have you waiting for me at the end." She said as she had flipped down beside him, grateful for his touches that kept her grounded, let her focus on him as she spoke. The opportunity of a lifetime... She saw it as such but would he? So much of this hung on him but she'd never say it, she'd not drop it on him like that, make him the link in her chain. That would just be insanely cruel and she would and could never hurt him like that. As she spoke she explained to him just what it entailed, this new position as the personal physicians to the House Navare, all the access to things they'd only dreamed about... There was so much good to come from this, more than just new adventures but a world, an entire culture of knowledge just waiting to be tapped... How much could they teach the world with what they could learn down here? How many people could they help or even save with the medical potions and powders they could blend with the plants found there and no where else? There was so much... So much they could accomplish if they went...

The hand to her cheek had her eyes dipping closed before she leaned into it, pushing the food stuffs out from between them she flat out scooted over and pulled herself flush up against him, her arms about his ribs as she held him close and tight. This was not something she expected... They had been apart for so long because of opinions and rumors, positions and reputations, she thought... If it was something he couldn't handle... They'd go on with each other just in cycles where she was off, but this, this was unexpected... But so... So beautiful... "Have I told you today how much I love you? Or how truly, wonderfully, amazing you are?" She asked as she kissed the side of his neck lovingly, no lust or desire, just sheer adoration and support... Thanks... " I do trust them, I think in general the drow as a people have a very bad rap but aren't nearly that bad, much like how elves look at humans and the surface as dirty and dangerous..." She had seen a very marked difference in the way that Jacob saw the surface versus how some Sun Elves saw it for instance, there was a lot of hate and mistrust, yet if you looked past it there was a lot to love... They just had to find something new... Let the place and the people speak for themselves. "I told Anya that the only reason I wouldn't go was if you decided you couldn't come with me. I belong with you Jacob, anywhere and everywhere, so long as I am in your arms I am home..." She said warmly before she did bait him a little bit with the books, the chance to go and explore these vast oceans of knowledge that had never been seen by a pale elf, let alone a doctor. "I won't lie to you I'm insanely curious to see how different it all it. You have got to see the fully body scan Jacob, genetically it's not that different but psychically they're the most fascinating of species I've ever seen, I'll need your help to map it out because Jacob? Baby? This thing is involved-." She said with a warm laugh because yeah... No way she could hold the scan and draw at the same time, Jacob however was extremely gifted with pencil and paper so she had a feeling they could do it together in a fraction of the time it could take otherwise.

Hearing him talk about wanting to pull back from the University and everything shocked her though, made her draw up a bit and look down into his eyes, concern and sadness on her features a bit. That? Was everything he had been working towards his whole life, all the accolades and the reputation, his position... He'd slaved over books and ruined his vision for it and seeing that he was pulling back... Was it because of her? But as he spoke on she learned that perhaps a part of it was, but not because of what she thought, and as he went on... Hearing that Sydel and Nautilous had broken it off oh.. Ooooh... She pressed her hand over her chest and her heart broke for her friend and that... That just hurt... And finding out that Ace had given Jacob a letter too? Her chest tightened painfully and her heart felt like it was in a vice, her arms coming around him more than a little bit tighter, her head coming to rest on his shoulder as she wanted to find that numb spot again but... It was, for the moment, evading her. "I think he loves you more than he loved himself and didn't want to burden you with it. Your his happiness so he probably just wanted to see you smile always..." That was how she felt about him all the time, she just wanted to see him smile, see him enjoying his life... But fucking SHIT what horrific timing... "No one could have expected it but you can never time when a shell is going to break open for the chick to escape... If nothing get's broken, nothing can live, and I think that's how those two saw it... Or at least how he did..." She wasn't ready to try and explain away Ace's letter though... She needed a hell of a lot more time to work that one out, let alone find the time, a way to forgive... " If she wasn't we'd know it... Hanali would tell us or Sybelle would... Right now... Right now I Really think this new adventure is perfectly timed. Everyone is breaking but us? We're staying strong... We need to let them handle it on their own lest we take it onto ourselves to try and help them... This is something they need to sort on their own I think, as adults this is their dance, we'll watch but not participate this time." She was also afraid that if they stayed they might get dragged down into someones mess, forced to pick sides and honestly she knew neither of them wanted to, it was childish and unfair to ask someone to but she had a feeling they would be dragged into it none the less.

"Promise me if you get scared you'll tell me right away?" She asked, lifting the hand he had placed over hers, kissing along the knuckles softly... Lovingly... "Your everything to me Jacob, the wind and the air, the sea and the sun, the sky and the earth... You're everything good and right in my life and I would never risk you, ever." She would wrap her arms about him once more, tight and strong as she held him close, letting him know she had him... Good days and bad... "Your my Best Friend, My Lover, My future husband and my big brother... You are the light to my dark, you are the very thing that completes me, makes me whole... I promise on my life that if you can't do this, if no matter what we try this is still something you find unbearable, I'll resign my position and we'll come home right away. The only thing worth anything in life is you Jacob... Only you." She'd say with so much conviction no one could have ever doubted her. Some things? You can say and set in stone...

They's stay up there a little bit more before it would be Jacobs turn to pack and from there? It was an easy and smooth portal over to Oxford, this time their magic together was so much smoother, it was like silk versus that little bit of hesitation... Something had finally worked itself out perhaps? But what ever it was it was truly perfect and they'd easily settle into the room set up for them, packs of clothes on the side before she'd pull out her favorite nightgown... One of his shirts and slip it on, starting up a small fire for comfort while the windows were opened wide, putting a kettle on and relaxing before the fire...

[Deleted]

-she glanced down into the cup.. listening as he spoke on her making the best tea in the world.. did she though?.. she wasn't entirely sure -.. mm.. maybe I just need something to jog my memory.. perhaps in the next couple of days when I am a bit more mobile I could move around in here and see if anything comes back to me.. -that is when she could see.. hopefully come morning it would be better than it was right now.. even if only a little..she was curious to hear that he wore glasses, she couldn't remember it being that way.. but then again there was a lot she wasn't sure on..she rested there comfortably in that chair.. cradling the cup of hot tea.. taking that small sip every so often.. it was soothing her throat well.. the honey making her voice come out with a lot less crackle.. she was saddened when she learnt about him losing his son.. though he was quick to remind her that it was theirs.. a child shared.. that they had both lost and she sighed.. he was right.. she knew it.. it had just been so long since she had been a whole person that Sybelle felt like she was another.. she rested her head to the cushions.. -.. I do hope for children.. -she spoke quietly..honestly.. -.. I do..but perhaps you are right.. maybe its just not something that is to happen -that thought had crossed her mind more as of late than before.. having Jacob was an issue, Aysil .. well.. she only came about because of rape.. she had lost so many children over the years..maybe it was just not meant to be..

he had organised her a bowl of fruit.. she peered down into it closely as she picked up on all the different colours and scents.. before the two of them would settle outside that little home of hers.. down onto the grass in the warmth of the sunshine.. she had plucked up one of those raspberries.. toying with it.. learning it.. finding it all rather fascinating.. though it was a lot more tart than she was prepared for.. still it was quite nice.. -.. In a tart?.. -her brow rose as she tilted her head-.. you've lost me.. -though his comment about them making him sneeze illicit a smile from her .. it caused the corners of those rose painted lips to curl as she rolled that single blue berry against her palm.. he had given her a lot to think about really.. when it came to Nautilous and matters of the heart.. that his brother had had a pretty raw deal growing up.. she knew it already for the most part.. the two of them barely had any secrets.. but she gave him some food for thought.. that maybe.. maybe she was the problem.. maybe she didn't know how to love.. he calmed her slightly raw nerves with his comforting words.. though his remark on Hanali had her questioning.. if that were the case Garafin and Caela would never have been able to marry .. but.. maybe sometimes the great golden goddess made mistakes..or maybe there was a lot more at play behind the scenes.. she nodded when he mentioned that he tried to show her love.. but that her sister had gotten in the way-.. She was pretty much around all the time.. I never really understood why she didn't like you.. You never did anything wrong..

-she frowned.. and when she thought on it .. he really didn't do anything wrong, from what she could remember he was always a complete gentleman.. he never stepped out of turn.. he let her lead.. like seriously how many wild goose chases did she take him on unceremoniously.. but Caela didn't even want them being friends.. it just made no sense.. and her dear loving sister plagued her to this day.. he told her she could still learn love though.. she could still have that healthy and happy relationship.. -.. You think so?.. -she glanced up to him.. a hopeful look upon face.. were it actually possible for her to have something healthy..it wasn't that what she had with Nautilous wasn't that way.. just in comparison to what was 'normal'.. it couldn't have been further away.. he reminded her of the ring he wore and what it meant to him.. but his question remained.. did she still want this.. did she still want him.. she didn't think she deserved him.. and she made that much known.. being more interested in wether or not he still wanted her.. after all that had happened.. he pulled her in closer and she relaxed in his hold.. in his arms .. he had an answer for everything she had said.. being broken, having scars and of course pain..all worries she had been carrying.. but that hiccuping heart beat she had been nursing settled when he said he wanted her.. that he wanted them both to have the chance they missed out on.. but with them being older.. new knowledge and wisdom.. she knew about his issues in the bedroom.. she had been party to them on more than one occasion.. -.. Thankyou.. -she spoke quietly.. her hand reached around to find his own fingers interlaced.. curling to give a light squeeze -.. Thankyou Diovan for not giving up on me.. -she lifted his hand.. her lips pressed to the back of his palm.. - I have a lot of flaws that could have easily pushed you away, but you're still there, despite there being so many reasons not to.. -she let her eyes close over.. the sunlight was beautiful..but his company was even better.. -

[BadInfluence]

"Anything you want to do will likely be a good idea. We don't know what will help or not so a few little adventures here and there sounds like it's what you need." It couldn't hurt a bit, through these little walks and searches for things she might find parts of herself, good things or sweet things... Maybe even some sad things but they'd help her put herself back together as a person. That right now was all that mattered to him, helping her. He had his own life that he was working out too so they could figure it out together. He knew there were things he never wanted to go back to, things he had devoted way too much of his life to, made it a crutch to keep himself from growing through having to learn to cope with things that made him uncomfortable. Besides, who knew what he might find out about himself as they learned about her? There was nothing wrong with it. As it stool this was all progress, they were talking and she wasn't crying, she had gotten things out that she needed to say even if it was in bits and pieces it still mattered. Talking about the loss of their children had hurt them both but he reminded her that he wasn't the only one who had felt loss, she had too. It was their babies that she'd lost, three in total over the years since Sybelle had come back, Sydel had conceived those times but miscarried each time. He had never once blamed her or held it against her. Sometimes that is just what needs to happen because the timing or the child is wrong.

"Well..." He said gently, after all this was an incredibly delicate subject, one that every woman likely has to go through in their life, and one that Sydel had gone through too often... "We can just let nature take it's course... I want to make love to you, I want to marry you, and some day who knows? We might fill a house with children or we might not... If you want to try then I'll be there with you every step..." But that was all there was to it. They could try if she wanted to, or they might just let it go, there was nothing he had to decide in this. It was her body, her life, and only she could truly understand how deep her pain went with each loss. Still, every loss wasn't the end, there was always a chance... And he'd take them with her if that was what she wanted...

Once she was settled and comfortable with her fruit in the sun he mentioned his own bit of an issue with Raspberries, seeing her confusion a bit and he couldn't help the smile, nodding his head. "Yeah they're like... Jam filled biscuits... But flaky... Like... Ok... They're sweet like hot cross buns but shaped more like a small loaf of bread about the size of your hand and stuffed with jellied raspberries." That... Was probably going to be the best way to explain it because he... Well this was not his strong suite. Period. If he are them straight the taste of them for some reason always triggered sneezes for him and he'd likely never figure out why and would just have to roll with it. Still, seeing her smile was worth the confession, though he hoped she'd never ask him to prove it. It was incredibly involuntary and massively messy. Just sneezed out berry bits everywhere.

Talking about his brother was hard. Did he like him? No. But he also knew a lot of that had everything to do with their messed up and tangled pasts and how badly their shared future had gone. He'd like to move past it, go from anger to acceptance and understanding, hopefully even forgiveness but he also knew for a fact there was only so much he was capable of right now. All the same in explaining things about his brother he hoped that Sydel might realize that all of this was not her fault. Some people are so broken they can't be fixed unless the other person is complete and whole within themselves. Otherwise pieces just get mixed up, things become more chaotic, more broken... Now, if he had any idea that she thought about Caela and Garafin he would have explained flat out that Caela bought the SHIT out of that favor... Massive donations to temple, tons of prayers, Caela had seemed to have really been in love... What happened later... Well... Who could honestly say? But she might be right too... Perhaps a mistake had been made but he wasn't about to go into it. A- Because he didn't read minds and B- He had nothing he could say that was conductive to that anyways.

"I... Sometimes wondered if... She loved you in a way that was not... Platonic... Everything she did was to keep you to herself. She made sure that almost no one was allowed close to you unless she was beside you the whole time..." It was something that had dawned on him a few days ago and he had wondered if it were the case... Did Caela love Sydel so much that she wanted to keep her always? Not allow her to love or be loved by anyone but her so that Sydel would always and forever be reliant on Caela? If so she had done everything right... Look at Sydel now, her whole world had been broken down and shattered, he honestly wouldn't be surprised of Caela somehow managed to come back into the picture to try and be a saving angel... If that were the case though... Caela had gone well and above beyond the distance to make sure her sister suffered for pushing her out of her life and daring to live on her own...

"I do think so, yeah..." But don't ask him for a step by step guide because he didn't have one. He just knew in his heart that people could grow, could heal and change, learn to live a life different and better than the one they'd had before. That meant love, too, could be done differently. Healthily... If you got away from the things that caused it to all go bad in the first place. You can't expect to stay dry if you keep jumping in the same lake after all. She asked him if he still wanted her which was pretty dumb. Of course he did! He wanted her with his whole heart but it was a two way street. She had to want him too... She spoke about being flawed but it wasn't like he himself was pristine. He had issues too, things that were different or difficult with himself, he had his own broken parts... But they were both older now, wiser from life's lessons, the things lingering therein. They'd grown quite a bit and with luck they'd get that future they should have had all those years ago...

Their fingers laced and her thanks were said, returning that squeeze with his own hand as he'd pull her in a bit more, having her lean on him so she could be really comfortable there in his lap. "I never did. I've loved you since we were young, before we even knew we had different sex organs, and I'll love you when we forget that we have different sex organs and what we used them for." He said with a laugh as he just held her close, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head, just enjoying the weather and the company. "We're both flawed and that's alright with me. I loved you even with your demented need to pop off ever billy button head you ever found. You loved me even with the fact I didn't have magic and was pretty much an oddity in Arvandor. It never bugged me then and it's not going to bug me now." He said and would just be silent, the two of them soaking up the sun before it got to be almost too warm, without Ace moderating it, the summers in Arvandor could get a little... Finicky...

"Think your up for a little bit of an adventure? We'll whistle down a carriage and head into the village, get some food for your house that aren't wild berries and tea with too much honey in it, get you a pair of glasses... Jacob has a spare he usually keeps in his home that I can grab up... And there's something I really want to do with you tonight..." He said as he carefully set her to the side so he could stand up before taking her with him again, whistling down that carriage for them as he settled her into the plush velvet seats, moving in beside her and closing the door. "I want to teach you to read and write... Caela never made you but I will because it's something you need to know. We'll go slow and take our time but it's important... And if we do have children, if you're really sure that's what you want to do, then you'll need to know how to read when they ask you for bed time picture books." He said before the carriage would start a casual, comfortable ride towards town, the two of them just watching everything go by as he'd ask her what she felt she might need for the house... What she might want and compiling a list.

[BadInfluence]

Gia had ensured that Anya was set up in her own suite, this beautiful bit of space that was decked out with much of the comforts of a Drow home, of course all due to Gia's efforts. Thaylan had said 'see you soon' to his daughter for he would never tell her goodbye, he had only just gotten her back into his life, he would never let her go again... Not for long, anyways.

He and Thaylan had settled into a separate set of rooms, no where near as fancy as they were perhaps staying the night and little more, no need for all the extensive bells and whistles as Anya had been given. Even so they were beautifully appointed, obviously meant for friends of the family, specifically those who were of a bachelor or open relationship sort of commitment. A perfect set up for friends of Aeson's who were known to party, get down into the nitty-gritty type of thing and yes, likely break some shit too. Hence why most of everything there was built sturdy with masculine lines. It? Would take a beating.

The note was a welcome bit of information, the wine even more so as they settled in across form each other with their glasses in hand and while Thaylan enjoyed his drink and nursed it, he himself downed it like it held the secrets of life at the bottom of the bottle. Sadly, no such answers were forthcoming but he did have a bit of a buzz, helped along by something in the pouch left for him. That?... Oh now that helped a bit... Took the edge off, calmed his ever-breaking heart into something a little more tolerable, eased the jagged twanging of his nerves. What to do now? They could go to splinter or stay inside and just stare at each other in silence... Yeah... Let's not go down the awkward staring contest... Not that they couldn't have sex but more so Thaylan said flat out that he would if he wanted to, but he felt it was better to save any further intimacy from between the sheets until everything had come to wash, otherwise it was asking for more trouble and complications... And he agreed with it. It was a tangled mess and sex wasn't going to un-knot anything.

As such Splinter it was, the two of them taking a pinch each of the bags before hiding them in a safe spot, knowing these things were far from cheap and as it was these hadn't even been paid for yet. The pull knot was yanked and the door swung open, the two of them heading down to many twists and turns until they arrived at Splinter proper, coming out into the King's chambers before they'd leave that room as well... At least... After they got dressed in proper clothing. Silk for Thaylan, leather for himself, decked out in head to toe with the stuff he looked menacing and dark. Even more so with the eye patch and the newly revised scar and the stitches running down from it. Of course for some women he was suddenly and irresistibly catnip but he turned them all down, each and every one, quite the shock given every time he came here he fucked half the room on a whim. No tonight was more... Optical enjoyment as they went to the bar to have a few drinks, a few smokes and maybe some finger food, the two of them knowing within a couple of hours... They'd know if one of them were to be a father or not.

It was at that same bar they found Ace and they each took a seat on either side of him and settled in for the long haul... And by that they meant the eternity that was a handful of answers before answers were going to be found. "They're all ok..." He said almost quietly, barely loud enough for Ace to hear him speaking. "Rose is hurt but she's bearing up ok... Keeping herself busy... Jacob is less surprised since you two have been on again off again for years... Sydel and I are separated... She'd in Arvandor with Diovan and the two of them are starting a new life... I'm heading down to Mezzoberanzan for the next few years... And what of you, Mr. Commitment Issues? What's the word? Any luck with parts for your globe?" He'd ask while Thaylan drank and idly flirted with the man next to him, catching up on all the latest gossip and the like, ever the Harlequin the man was never not resource gathering.