When Life hangs in the Balance...

[BadInfluence]

"Oh please, as if I care if you like me or not, you overblown sack of meat." He scoffed with a sharp bark of laughter. He was just glad that it worked, he seriously hated coming down here like this, the taste of insanity was like bile on his tongue. He had come a long way from that stage of his life, he didn't like dancing this closely with it, the temptation to fall was too sweet... To just crumble, not need to think or plan, just do everything by the seat of his pants because it was too fun not to. It made everyone dance around him, terrified of his unpredictability, it had been such a fun time... Blood and chaos ran where ever he stepped... He was a few steps down when Kharne decided to spit that out at him, he went silent for several long moments, wondering just how far those echoes might run... Sydel wanted to be free of Korne and he just figured she would stop working for him, break the contract, but he didn't know she planned on fully severing herself from it. That came with some seriously heavy ramifications that he hadn't been prepared to encounter, causing him to look at her down in the ring, coated in blood and looking like the devil herself. "Then we'll just sign her with a god who will appreciate her and ensure she gets the respect she deserves. Korne wasted her and her talents." He said before he hocked a gob on the throne that Kharne had been sitting on, continuing to step down the stairs in that bloodied armor, already in his head he knew where she would fit best... The god to keep her alive if she ever danced on the edged of death again, who could make the best use of her skills, and the one who already had her mother... There was... Much to be done but he didn't even know how to find the time...

Coming down into the arena he saw her hitting the dirt and he sprinted over to her, reaching out to keep her from hitting the ground, hearing her words. "Sort of... You're free of Korne now which means... You're about to become alive again." He said as he brushed her hair back from where it stuck to her face with all that blood and gore. "You totally did Princess... Kharne was insanely pissed off to see you win but you got through them all like a hot knife through butter." It was a lie in part but a good lie, something to make her happy, to feel good. "I'm her Princess, I'm here, I got you... I know it hurts but it won't be long..." He said, trying to keep her mellow before all of a sudden Syn came to the fore and naturally the first thing out of her mouth was blaming him. "I did nothing, what she did was her choice, but it's nice to see you too..." He said before she seemed to freak out about the baby and yeah... That stabbed the fuck out of him too and it took all he had not to rip into her about that baby because if she hadn't sent it away the baby would still be alive. He had spent that entire fight being sure to avoid pushing her hard enough to make her miscarry, pushing it to be fast but with as minimal damage to her, and she had fucked it all up by shifting the fetus to a body that was already struggling to keep two alive as it was. "You sent it to a body already pregnant with twins, because of that not only did our son die but it also killed Diovans son in the process, that other body could not handle it." Oh it was killing him to try and keep from playing the blame game but he was managing it as best he could in the present moment. "I planned on making sure she was safe and that she wouldn't come to harm Syn." He said quietly before Syn just faded into nothingness at this point, hearing her soft apology before he held her tighter in his arms for a moment. "Me too Princess, me too..." He said and held her even as she vanished in his arms, the black stain on the floor that was vanishing even then, fading like ashes blown in the wind...

He knew he should go back but... He couldn't... Not just yet... He did leave Naggoth however, traveling through the webeways to the Palace of Pleasure, it's glittering forests of gemstone bearing trees, the golden roads and the saphire blue sky... Pristine and perfect, beautiful to the eye he knew it's tempting fate as he walked the road, about to make a bargain with the Prince of Excess... He was unsure as to how far it would go, if he would find an actual success in the mission or not, but he would not know unless he tried. What he did know? Was that with Sydel having broken her pact and life with Khorne he needed to do so as well, he'd not allow that to ruin her, not anymore.

[BadInfluence]

"Don't you dare leave or I'll kick your captain ass all over this place." She said as she instantly reached out and grabbed at his arm, looking up at him and for all she might look cool as a cucumber on the surface, she was more like a stuffed jalapeno on the inside. One bite and she'd just goo out everywhere. He was her rock, her grounder, the only think that allowed her to flow so that she looked a bit more natural than not. It went smoothly too for a while till Sylwyn was done eating and had fallen asleep on the breast. It took a moment or two of fumbling before she got that latch to disengage and once that was done? She'd hand Sylwyn to Garafin to hold. "I have NO clue how to burp her. At all. So how about we switch it up a bit? I'll go get us some food and get you a whisky and then go find a room to stay in that's not stinking like the inside of a medical glove huh?" Yeah... She didn't like hospitals... Like... At all. She avoided them and prefered home treatments and stuff if anything ever went wrong, setting more than a few bones herself in her time, so this was pretty uncomfortable in a way. At least, it was getting that way now that the initial shock and warm bubble had become a bit more normal, a little stabilized.

She'd pop off once she made sure he was ok with it and she'd ask around until she found the kitchen and began to load up on a ton of leftovers. There must have been one hell of a party last night because there was literally food for days down here! She brought down some seriously simple food but really good, corned beef and baked potatoes, some simple salads and a bottle of whisky. Milk for her of course, gotta keep the diet solid for the baby, which meant no alcohol for her for like... Ever. Ah well, fuck it, life goes on!

She snatched up some rolls too that were all warm and flaky goodness, layered too and she couldn't stop herself from eating about five in one go before she paused to down a cup of milk and head back with the goods. She'd put them on a table next to Garafin so he could eat while holding Sylwyn and she popped out again to get that room sorted. This was a little trickier, most of the bigger suites were taken but she managed to find a nice one, a bit on the snug side but no issue there. She? Lived in a caravan most her life! It just had to have a bed and bassinet in it for them, but this one was an added bonus with a smaller bathroom on the side too, making it perfect for them. She compandeered it and had it all set up for them to move on in for about a week's stay before she'd make he way back down to Garafin and she'd eat first before taking their daughter back, it was crazy how much breastfeeding made her downright starving.

[BadInfluence]

Everyone in the medical field has bad days, some are definitely worse than others, and today? Was pretty damn bad. Jacob lost one of his mothers, nearly loosing the other shortly after, and the men he saw as his father figures were fighting like a couple of damn kids. She figured that you know what? Time to switch it up. The world was full of beautiful things, you just had to have the strength to put that foot in front of the other and get to walking, and with a few questions to the staff? She'd found out that there was a county fair going on in the city nearby, full of fun to be had by all, including the staff who would go once their hours were over and they had time of their own. She'd ask for directions, a bit of information on it and the like, and began to prepare accordingly.



Jacob... Had just gotten back from Naggoth. He'd been through brutal training and came back so much fitter, stronger than before, but he hadn't had a chance to have any fun yet. She knew there had to be something they could do, something to shift it around, and this fair idea sounded just too perfect to pass up. Fried foods? Lemonade? Face painting and carnival games? It sounded like the perfect cocktail to make take a turn for the better today. While Jacob was looking after Sydel and talking with the staff she was busy sneaking around like a mouse in the house, plotting and planning acquiring and all the good things that come with any stealth mission. By the end of it she had a few things packed up and ready to go, but the harder part, that took a damn good chunk of rummaging before she had to give up and call Anouke, the sweet Pixie more than happy to pop down to the surface for the first time and help her with a bit of a wardrobe change... The fair required something that she definitely did not have on hand to wear. With a few tweeks, words here and there the perfect outfit was found and with hugs and kisses, Anouke would pop back into Arvandor where there was still a good bit of preparation to do for the festival which was a few days off yet.



She'd snag a nice hot shower and make sure she was utterly soft and sweet smelling before she'd get dressed, drawing on that soft sweet sundress and the leather cowboy boots onto her feet, her hair done in a let down hairstyle with a braid about the crown of her head. A little tinted balm to her lips to give them a touch more color, a bit of mascara to her lashes to make them pop, and just a little dab of that perfume that drove Jacob absolutely batty when he smelled it on her. When she was done? She'd pick up that satchel and find a servant to give the note she had written to Jacob. Why start an adventure all plain and boring? She wanted to get his mind off of everything, welcome him home with a much happier bang than what he had gotten, and that? Required details and a bit extra TLC.



"My Dearest Jacob,

Come to the front door of the Manse and take exactly three hundred and five steps to the north, then turn east, and take another five hundred and twelve steps. When you arrive there will be a box hidden in a tree with a fork split by lightning. When you find it, please put on what is in inside, do not leave an item out.

Love, Your Rose

ps- It might sound strange, but I think your snoring is really cute."



Now, if he followed those steps? He'd find himself exactly by the large stable on the property, and inside an oak tree that had been split by lightning was an old wooden box, used for packing and shipping and was a little beat up. On top of it? Was another note weighed down by a spray of white clover and forget-me-nots.



"My Sweetest Love,

You did excellent to find this! So much more than a pretty face aren't you love? Inside is an outfit I picked out for you, I do hope you'll like it, even if it's not exactly your normal fashion. It definitely suits our adventure for today though, which I'm sure of course, you're aware that I have SOMETHING planned.

Love, Your Rose!



Ps- You know I always meant to tell you but I REALLY love your laugh!"



Inside was a pair of faded denim with ripped knees, well worn and while skin tight they would fit insanely comfortably on him, bit like a second skin. A pair of low white loafer shoes as well that didn't need socks, nice and cool and very comfortable as well, she'd spelled them to be a bit broken in so he'd not have to do that himself today. A tan leather belt and a skin tight dove grey long sleeve shirt. That was it, nothing fancy, no blazers vests or jackets... Just a comfortable but good looking outfit that was going to make him stand out and show off just how beautiful he really was. They say the suit makes the man, well baby, this man of hers? Made the suit! He looked good in everything and she wanted him to know that.



At the bottom of the box? Well now that was her special little surprise just for him. It was the traditional silver ring of courtship that marked all elvish relationships but hers... Was a little different... It appeared to have a seem in the middle and with just the right amount of pressure would flip it open like a lid and reveal the writing on the inside. It wasn't a lot, the band only had so much space after all, but the writing was beautiful and in her script. "To the Man who Taught Me how to Dream, My Heart Is yours, Always." And in the center where the clasp sat was a precious stone of his birth year, uncut but beautifully polished so it glowed with it's own light. If he put it on he would find it sat beautifully on his finger, just snug enough to be comfortable but not so tight as to make it hard to take on and off when wearing gloves for work. Under that ring was another little note and a single heliotrope flower.



"My Precious,

I hope you've liked your surprises so far! There are more to come! Please head into the stables and whistle twice, you'll get your next instructions then!

Love, Rose

pss- Have I told you that you're wonderful yet today?"



Once he got into the stable and did indeed whistle? A beautiful black and white painted horse would come out of a stall somewhere towards the middle, trotting with a beautiful gate and all saddled up, ready to go. Tied about the pommel of the saddle was another note, and rather than having a bit of flower, this one held a slice of lemon and lavender cake in a waxed paper container.



"Hey Handsome!

See? I told you so! Saddle up and come on out, I'll be seeing you at the front of the house, and don't be late! It's never good to keep a lady waiting you know!

Always, Your One Rose


psss- You know my greatest wish? Is to help you find a reason to smile every single day of your life."


jacobs outfit

jacobs ring

white clover   forget me nots  heliotrope

jacobs horse

cake wrapping

[Deleted]

He had remained down close to the medical rooms.. keeping an eye on his Mother.. no one else seemed to be available.. Rose needed a time out and that he understood completely.. but those brothers.. well his thoughts wandered to places where disappointment reigned supreme.. he exhaled as he picked up the basin of warm water.. a small cloth with a light soap as he began to work on removing the ink stains from the insides of her small cool hands.. only looking up as Diovan finally stepped in.. well inched in.. he was clearly cautious on his feet.. looking maybe a little worse for wear.. but.. he honestly gave it little thought.. for in these moments.. when family was needed and no one was around.. he learnt a few things about those he thought were close.. they weren't.. he nodded.. offering the basin and the cloth to Diovan to take over.. explicit instructions to call upon him if anything happens.. he needed to step out for a little while.. he was sure though that she would be fine.. she seemed to have gotten over the worst of it.. her heart rate was stronger than he could remember it ever being.. but he told Diovan they would be drawing back on the medication that was keeping her asleep tomorrow morning.. the little bit of extra down time would do her good.. he also thanked him.. for coming down..

he stepped out of the room.. sliding his hand down into his pocket as he retrieved a cigarette.. its tip flourished with orange light as he was handed a note.. he nodded.. offering a thankyou to the house servant before he would open it.. nursing that smoke between his lips as his duo coloured gaze wandered over the writing the page contained.. a smile curled around the corners of his lips as he chuckled..-.. Just what are you up to mm?.. -he questioned as he took another drag .. inhaling deeply before releasing it.. he would turn and make his way through the house.. out to the front door.. checking the note once more.. before he would count those steps.. mis counting a few times which sent him back to the beginning but he got there soon enough.. north.. then east.. the stable his final location.. an old split tree.. a wooden box.. he laughed at her words.. the outfit was something he would not have chosen for himself.. not being one for torn .. well anything.. but he popped it on none the less.. it was snug.. but comfortable.. sliding the belt into place.. the shirt was crisp.. perfect fit.. he noticed the addition in the bottom of the box.. having been hiding beneath the clothing.. inside was tat courtship ring.. aww.. his heart grew twice its size easily there in his chest.. turning it in his fingers as he noticed the inscription.. -.. Such a beautiful girl.. -he sighed as he slid the ring onto his finger..

the flower was a nice touch and he slid it into the button hole of his shirt.. the note telling him to head into the stables he followed soon there after.. his hands rising as he ran them back through his hair.. curious indeed as to what she was up to.. just where was she leading him with all this?.. he whistled high and shrill.. and to his surprise the Horse appeared.. a stunning beauty dressed in black and white-.. Oh Wow.. oh now you are a stunning creature arent you.. -he reached for the note that was tied to its saddle.. the cake.. -.. Ah! a girl after my own heart.. -he smiled.. Oh she was too precious.. he placed his boot into the stirrup and pulled himself up onto the Horse.. righting it round as he lead it out of the stables with ease.. he had grown up with animals like this almost his entire life.. garafin made sure he knew how to ride from a very young age.. a slow movement.. nothing swift.. his direction the front of the house.. the sun felt incredibly good against his back as he rounded the corner.. hoping to catch her.. or maybe a further direction?.. were they going riding perhaps?.. it was a nice day for it..-

[BadInfluence]

She had spent perhaps more time than she might have wanted to admit setting everything up but in reality all she wanted to do was to make him smile today. It might have been rough on her but it was likely murder on him and he needed something to smile about. Because of that, and with some help from the staff, she did get everything all laid out just like she hoped to without too much running around on her part, saving her time to get dressed up and even a little dolled up for him. It had been... Almost a year since their last date which was pretty damn sad when she thought about it, here they were entering an official courtship and the last date they had was before she had even really begun her hard run schooling, and that one had been overshadowed by some pretty not so fun thoughts and moods. So in her mind? This was going to make up for the space lost and shart their courtship off with a proper big bang sort of thing, plenty of laughs and fun, and if this place was half of what they said it was? It should be a true and proper night packed to the gills with good memories.



Once she was done and made sure he had time to get out to the front of the house she'd come riding around the side on a beautiful bay colored horse with black socks and main, her dress had ultra thin straps but a beautiful cut of the hemline and long enough to drape over each side of her saddle but still showed off her knees and calves before being hidden by a pair of ultra cute cowboy boots, thin golden bangles on each wrist made a beautiful sound as she moved... And in each hand she held what looked like heaven in a glass, a fruit infused sweet tea that was absolutely perfect for the heat the day promised already at such an early hour, a bright sunny smile on her face as she guided the horse with her knees alone until she was right beside him. Hand extended she offered him that glass with a wink. "You have fun on your little treasure hunt?"



While they chatted and drank the tea down, when they were done she'd hand them off to the staff before she'd turn the horse a bit to the west this time, down the beautifully kept lose gravel road that lead up to the manse. "I see you like the ring too... Is the fit ok? It was sort of a gamble, trying to make sure the size was right, it had to fit nicely or it's be a hindrance at work." Seriously, no man in his right mind wanted to fight with a ring in the medical field, what a downer! Once off the main lawn the pathway opened up into a twin rutted road, the sides lines with various pots full of marigolds and wild sunflowers, oak trees lining it to keep it cool even in the hottest of mid-day heat. They rode in peaceful silence for a good click together, something they had always had in common, felt comfortable with... The shared silence. It wasn't lonely or forced, they just had this niche together where they were content not to talk, just happy to be in each others presence. Plus the scenery? Was beautiful, the sun was really starting to make herself known, the heat slowly rising but beneath the leaves it was just beautiful... Deer in the fields around them, eating their last of breakfast before retiring into the underbrush to nap and relax till twilight, a fox and her two pups racing along the pathway... A mother quail and a good dozen or so peas behind her skittering along quite hecticly.



"Jacob love? Are you hungry?" She'd ask in the middle of the silence, she knew they were getting close to the place where she had their date planned, looking across to him and the look on her face... Oh he should have known... The light in her eyes... The way she was fighting back a smile... "Because you're about to eat my dust!" She said before she'd lay the leather end of her horse's bridle against it's flank and with the pressure of her knees they were off, she hung low about her horses neck, tight as a burr and unmoving so her horse could take off as it wished without concern it's rider was going to fall off. Would Jacob beat her? Would she win? Who would eat whom's dust in this race? It was anyone's guess as the horses were evenly matched and he? Well he had an advantage on her. He'd been raised around horses but she'd only started to take the equestrian classes when she moved to the big city medical college. Still, she wasn't bad at all, and her small size and light weight meant her horse could really rip at it and get some good speed going.



This would last until they were off the road and past the many smaller manses and then cottages and farms, the road turning to soft grass and loamy soil, wooden fences holding in things like sheep and cattle... It was beautiful out there without a doubt, the place lived well, even the poor were better off here than many other places... And it was in such a beautiful and natural bounty that there opened up a large clearing just before the village itself, and inside that natural clearing was the state fair, full of the sounds of music and the electric crackle of steam engines and the like... From up here on the small hillock they sat upon it stretched out before them like a brightly colored painting, smoke and steam mixing only to be pulled away by that perfect breeze, and the smells... Oh the SMELLS... Caramel apples and corn dogs, cotton candy and ribs, baked potatoes and corn on the cob... She paused and took a deep breath and let a sigh out. "Good Goddess what ever they are cooking down there smells too good to be real." She said with a bright and sunny smile just for him. "I don't think you ever spared yourself the time to visit a fair here on the surface, have you? We used to go... Once a year during the summer, the Father and Nuns would take a bit each week from the collection plate to take us out to something like this, it was the best part of the year." Better than christmas since it was terribly rare for there to be presents or even a tree, hard to find joy in that holiday but something like this, something full of color and music... Bright lights and delicious smells...



"Well... It would have been better if I could have ridden most of the rides. I was so short that I couldn't even get on the kiddy roller coaster, did you know that? Kids half my age were able to get on it, but not me, I was a few inches too short. So you know what I did?" She asked, reaching down to take off her boot even, sliding her foot out of it before she'd show him the opening of it. "I started to pack paper into my shoes so I could get the lift I needed to ride the rides without getting busted for cheating." She said with a wink before she'd put her boot back on and they'd head on down into the opening.



The first thing he would see were these beautifully painted, ultra glossy, eye catching displays of food. Fried dough in the form of donuts, fennel cake, elephant ears and crepes... The smell of everything from hot cocoa to fresh tea brewing and bubbling away on the inside... If there was a food craving? It was going to be satisfied right here, there was such a blend of everything, sweet to savory and some insanely reactive concoctions in between too. To the side there was a place for them to store their horses for a silver coin, exorbitant sure but they had the money to spare, she slipped the young boy at the front four to make sure their horses were well cared for and wiped down while given a nice hot mash to spoil them for the race earlier. She'd smoothly dismount and once they were down she's reach for Jacob's hand and link their fingers together. Gorgeous man like him? He'd get snatched up in a minute so she made sure to hold onto him nice and tight.



"Where would you like to go? Eat first? Or try out some of the rides? Or perhaps play a few carnival games?" She'd ask as they'd start to walk in, paying the fifty cent entrance free before they' get caught up in the mass of people, plenty of couples just like them milling about here and there, families with small children with faces lit up at all the sighs and sounds to take in. As they were walking along, sure enough one of the carnies caught them and hollered out quite loudly, as you know... Only a carnie can do. "Hey There! You! Young man with the sharp haircut! Hello there! Why don't you come over here and win a toy for that pretty young thing on your arm? Just a silver a toss, you get three rings my friend, three rings to snag the pretty miss a toy she'll love! Come on now! Don't be shy! Big strapping lad like you can win the whole pot! Just a silver my friend, a silver for the smile on the beautiful girls face! Come on now! Let's not disappoint the fair lady! Come on over! Win her a prize!"



Roses outfit and hair
Roses Horse
Path on the road


food stall 1   food stall 2   food stall 3   food stall 4   food stall 5   food stall 6   
game center 1     game center 2   game center 3     game center 4     game center 5     game center 6     game center 7

[Deleted]

..he wasn't sure what to expect really.. she had always been one full of surprises .. turning that corner to round the front of the estate he would look around.. not seeing her just yet.. though she soon pulled up beside him.. looking as stunningly beautiful as ever.. hauntingly so.. holding a drink out to him as he reached for it.. leaning just a touch further as he brushed his lips to her cheek-.. With you being the treasure at the end.. always angel.. always.. -he offered her a smile as he took a drink of the heavenly liquid.. it was perfect.. they settled comfortably in those saddles.. just talking about all and nothing.. they needent have a subject.. they just gelled so well.. nothing was ever forced.. there were no awkward silences.. the glasses were handed off to the staff ..watching as she turned her horse and he pulled a similar manouvre..-.. Ah! yes the ring is beautiful, and so very thoughtful.. Thankyou love.. for everything.. its been a heartfelt surprise.. and just at the right time.. it fits just right.. not too tight but it wont just fall off.. -he held up his hand so she could see it.. she began to move.. he followed.. staying just to her right as the two of them rode down the estate lawns and onto that pathway to the side..she asked if he was hungry.. his brow arched a little-.. uh.. -he went to reply.. catching a glimpse of that mischievous sparkle before she made her cheeky little quip and she took off..he blinked and laughed-.. Oh you sneaky little thing..

-he called out to her as he did much the same.. tearing off in the same direction.. it would take him little effort to meet her speed but he wouldn't take the lead.. far to much of a gentleman.. he laughed as he remained at her side.. through the woods.. down the paths.. the towns.. past houses and so on.. coming to a slow stop there upon a hilltop.. affording him a spectacular view of the surrounds.. and then of course this.. fair?.. the smells of sweet and savoury had him curious.. he'd not really bothered with things of this nature before.. he was far to busy-.. No.. I never took the time away from my studies for things like this.. -he gave a light shake of his head-.. some of the other students did.. I just felt my time was better spent elsewhere.. -he offered her a smile when she spoke about how she used to go.. at least once a year.. -.. sounds rather magical then my dear.. -he tilted his head when she went on to talk about not being able to partake in most of the rides due to her height.. she took her boot off then to prove a point and he laughed a little and shook his head-.. Oh dear.. Well I have no doubt you would have been utterly adorable none the less.. -the two of them would wander down to this funfair.. this carnival of sorts..the colours were what grabbed him first.. it was all so bright and eye catching.. the scents on the wind were appetising.. siding his hand into hers.. fingers interlacing.. he gave her a light squeeze-.. You are incredible.. how did you even know this was here?.. -he questioned as they began to wander.. she asked what he wanted to do...did he desire food or games.. -.. Ive not been to one before.. how about you be my guide my love.. you show me whats good.. I have utmost faith in you..

-he'd offer her a smile.. the groups of people and children were wonderful.. he'd not seen so many in one place in a long time.. it was quaint.. he slid one hand down into his pocket as they wandered.. he let her lead him.. wherever she desired to go.. before a rather loud mouthed carnie hollered out to him.. his brow rose as he turned and glanced toward this gentleman.. something about rings?.. tossing rings?.. he wore a questioning look.. his maths skills were far to finley calculated to know just by looking at the side shows that they were rigged up to earn the vendor some pocket change.. and he understood it.. people had bills to pay.. mouths to feed.. he laughed a little.. -.. hey why not eh?.. -he smiled.. dropping a silver into the dirty hand of the vendor as he was handed those rings.. he glanced down at the metal.. weighted on the edges.. not quite wide enough for the square block they were meant to so easily fall over.. but she also knew if she really wanted anything.. ever he could buy it for her.. so this was simply a bit of silly fun.. -. wish me luck angel.. -he shot her a wink as he took those three ring tosses-

[BadInfluence]

He INSTANTLY had her blushing in that moment, the soft pink high and adorably bright on her cheeks, a small squeak sounding as her chest contracted a bit and she ducked her chin. Honestly, he could be so cute, so sweet and kind... Utterly romantic... How was a girl going to survive huh? Just too perfect her beloved was... She took that kiss all the same, her blush just growing but the smile on her face was so bright it made the sunshine pale in comparison, she just glowed right now. "You sir, are far too romantic, and I absolutely adore it." Said with a small laugh as the two of them would start off down the trail once the drinks were finished. They always had gotten along so well, they didn't need to chatter incessantly, they could go hours without a word and just be happy to be in the same room together. The ride was wonderfully relaxing with the gentle clop of horse hooves on gravel and the smell of warm grass and flowers on the wind, and when she did speak they were simple questions. Just happy things, nothing heavy, nothing pressing.



"I'm really glad, making rings sure takes a lot of focus, I think I do better in the lab." She gave him a wink then with a warm sunny smile as they rode close by one another, legs almost touching as their horses enjoyed the chance to get a stretch out. "I thought there was no better way to give you something to lift your day no matter how hard it is than being able to see that ring and the message inside it. Maybe a little corny but... Good corny." It was too easy to enjoy the weather, the laughter came so easily to her today despite everything, the day just begged for people to have fun. Because of that though she couldn't resist the offer of a challenge, a bit of a tease, and more than a little bit of a taunt... Before she was off like lightning and the two of them were quite neck and neck! She kept pushing a little harder, laughing brightly as the horses took the well known paths and roads, happy to get more than a bit of exercise out, to really get a good run in... And she knew Jacob was letting her win because each time she got a little ahead? He matched her and it made her stick her tongue out at him before they'd come to that little rise and the fair within it's opening was revealed beneath them. Slowing her horse she patted it's neck softly, little whispers, soothing her down and thanking her for an amazing ride. She asked if he had ever had a chance to go to one but she had a feeling likely not. He was so very studious, utterly dedicated to his craft and his family, he would have made very little time for these sorts of things once his doctorate began.



"Mmm, I thought as much... It's that dedication that made you one of the most amazing doctors, it was time very, very well spent... But... How about for the next while we catch you up on the things you missed? Like fairs for starters?" She'd asked with a smile before she told him about the happiest time she had in the orphanage, the trips to the fair and the joy of it all, though her sadness at not getting on many of the rides due to her height...Or rather... Lack there of. "It was... It was the best time of the year for us, sometimes we even got a chance to have a bit of fairy floss, I loved it. Besides, the paper DID work when I figured it out, though it's not the most comfortable insole..." Grinning she gave him a wink as she began to lead then down the hillock and towards the fair, the gentle tunes of carousel and ferris wheel rides on the wind with all those mixed scents of food and drink. "Mmm I asked the staff if there was anything fun near by for a couple to enjoy. They said the fair was in town so it was just fate you see. Since I figured that you had never been to one I really wanted to be the first to introduce you to it... It's not fancy but there's something about it that makes you feel like a child again..." So innocent and care-free... "Maybe it's the lights or the sound of music box melodies... The smell of candy or the savory scent of a corn dog... Fizzy drinks or lemonaid there's something... Really special about a fair..."



Once they arrived she handled the horses and the entrance fee, their hands linked as it was incredibly easy to lose someone in these sorts of crowds, such a happy mix of families and romantic couples... Children darting about back and forth like happy little dragon flies in brightly colored sunday best clothes... She asked what he might want to do first and when he put it to her she paused and tapped her chin, trying not to wait too long in one spot or you'd get bumped into by either a hyper child or a couple who were a little too moony with each other, and that went to some well established married couples too. The fair? Just made all sorts of good things flow through your body in a way that just defined any real scientific or logical explanation. "That's a hard call, it's all a lot of fun but the food is best when you're hungry, don't know why but there is something about scarfing down a funnel cake that is life changing." She said with a laugh before the carnie caught them and like any good one worth his salt he knew just how to pick the first timers and the guys who liked to show off for their ladies. While Jacob was not the later he was definitely the former and it showed on his face while giggled and wrapped herself around his arm as they headed over to the ring toss. She knew, like him, that it was rigged. The cheap penny prizes were easy to win, made people thing it was all fair, super cosher and the like... Then there were the bigger prizes, the ones the brash, brave... Or particularly bossy girlfriend aimed for.



"Oh, Jacob look! It's a jellyfish wind chime, how cute! See if we can't get that one?" It wasn't one of the huge prizes, but one of the middling ones rather, cute but possible to get... When you dropped enough money to but the thing like ten times over... The the trick to this? Wasn't how much you spent... It was in the fun, and sometimes frustration of winning it, the memories that get built up and the laughter that comes after. She'd stand by him and watch him toss the rings (1,3,2,4,2,6,1,8,3,9} And while he won her several of the cute little penny prizes, such as animal shaped erasers and a couple of flowered hair pins, as well as two of the somewhat bigger prizes being a lovely little cotton scarf and a pair of cotton gloves, it wasn't till the end that he got the prize she had asked for and at this point? She was wearing everything he had won for her and the erasers put in her little satchel on the side. Oh she was beaming, nudging him in the side with the brightest of smiles, even giving him a little bit of a hip bump. "Look at you! You won me a prise every time! I bet all the girls were jealous of what a winner I got!" Oh she was chuffing him up a bit, praising him and wanting to see that smile, the blush he had that came when she flattered him. They were walking down the line that was split between carnival games and food stalls, but her? She was tugging him along down the middle of the lane and pointing happily at something, something brightly colored and very high, stairways on both sides...



It was a fair slide, pretty simple, even the smallest children at the age of five can get on and ride it down. As such it was one of her favorites because she was always tall enough for that one! Now this one was way better than the one's she'd been on before, this one had hills through it and she was just about dying to get on it, the brightest and happiest smile on her face as she was just about gunning for it. Once they got there? She forked over the coins for this one and grabbed her burlap sack and damn near sprinted up the steps to the laughter of just about anyone who saw it, she was obviously extremely excited, pausing only half way to bounce on her toes a bit. "Jacob!! Come-ON! Chief Bringing up the Rear!" She laughed and danced in her spot till he caught up and she'd haul him the rest of the way up. Once there? She'd show him how to go about it, laying the burlap on the slide and settling down onto it with her feet facing forward, waiting for him to settle down too before she'd wriggle their way forward and the decent began... All smooth... Still about half way and she realized she was getting too much speed and she took that middle hump with a bit of air and a flail of her arms before she landed with an oof, fell back and had to hold her dress down the rest of the way. At the end? She was laughing her ASS off! Hair a bit of a mess, cheeks bright and rosy, golden eyes glowing and oh she was just howling with laughter. She'd get up and brush her bottom off, adjusting a few things subtly because, you know... She had a bit of a crowd at that point with more than a few hoots and hollers, to which she'd just bow to the sudden eruption of applause and she'd right herself, and... Head RIGHT back up that stairway again.



If Jacob came or not she wouldn't judge, she herself hadn't done this in quite a few years and the rush was so fun, the way your belly would just go into your throat. Addictive! She'd go down several more times, some with that big bump that she handled much better this go around, others perfectly smooth before she'd finally stop and take up his hand once more. Where to from there? Something she knew he'd never done before and would probably absolutely love! "You're going to love this one, it's one of my favorites, especially on days like this." She said with a smile as she'd lead them over to this steam powered ride that was full of swings attacked to the top in sets of two. She'd pay the operator and settle down on the inside seat, giving him the one facing the outside, settling in with the bars installed over her lap so no one slid out. She'd wait for him to settle in too, reaching for his hand and giving it a squeeze, hoping he was having close enough to as much fun as she was. Did he like it? Was this something he'd like to do later on? "Look out to the side when we go up..." She said with a wink as multiple other couples and children filed in, the chairs getting snatched up like coins off street pavement before the ride was full and it was time to start up, the hum of that steam engine going as the ride slowly began to turn... Music starting to play from the organ in the center as the swings began to lift into the air, the spinning top going just fast enough to give you that amazing breeze and feeling of flying that everyone gets on a swing, the excited shriek of children as they began to lift up higher and higher... Well over the top of the circus tent and food vendors, and if he would have looked like she asked, there was the sea spread out before them like a brilliant glittering jewel with white lace foam capped waves.



She'd catch his glance and wave at him from the space between their seats, reaching out on a lean and they could Almost touch but not quite, making funny face across the way from him just to see him laugh. More than once she'd throw her arms up and just laugh, loving the moment as she felt the warm sun on her face and the sweet salty tang of the ocean breeze, letting go of every worry or care there was to be had. The ride lasted for about ten minutes before it began to slowly lower and stop spinning, allowing them to get off and depart the ride, taking his hand in hers as they strolled along. "Think you're hungry yet?" She'd ask as they wandered down the isle with all the food vendors, following her nose to what seemed the best right now, sweet or savory?...



She was debating it when she walked by a funnel cake vendor and she was done. She stopped at the stand but... It was just a bit too high... Her head barely cleared the top of the counter so she paused and gently patted Jacob's hand. "Ok so I'm still as short as I remember for these things. Order two funnel cakes with powdered sugar and honey drizzled on them and a fizzy pop... I don't think you've ever had one, they're definitely not good for you, but today's not about being healthy." She said with a laugh as she handed him the coins and would wait for him to order and pick them up before they'd start to walk off again. If he tried to eat it with a fork and knife? she'd jump and snatch them from his hands and tear off a piece of his cake and feed it to him with her fingers, laughing brightly as she'd have done so. She virtually inhaled hers as they walked, grabbing up that fizzy pop and drank down a big gulp through the straw... And immediately made a face as the bubbles hit her nose before she involuntarily burped... And flushed a deep red as she covered her mouth in a bit of a shock. That... Hadn't happened since she was, like, five! "Excuse me!" But she brushed off that embarrassment quickly and headed over to order a couple of corn dogs with his help, eating her treat on the stick as they walked, but this time... A bit more careful about how much of that fizzy she took in one go. As they walked she'd order several things, a few slices of vegetarian pizza and some caramel apples, cookies dipped in chocolate and batter before they were fried... Ice cold pickles... Crepes stuffed with frozen yogurt that she enchanted not to melt before they got to eat them...



Walking down the way they came to a small picnic area set up for families and she picked out one of the smaller benches for couples set up under a tree that was shading the area beautifully, sitting down and taking her boots off so her feet could feel the soft grass under them. "So, now that you've had a little taste, what do you think?" She'd ask before she'd take a large bite out of her pizza, the cheese still melty and gooey, absolutely delicious! She'd finished off the fizzy pop and got them a couple of beers to enjoy with the savory food, smiling at him across the table, eager to hear what he thought of this little adventure so far.



swing ride  Slide

[Deleted]

He stood infront of the carnival vendor.. those oddly shaped rings in his hands.. weighed at certain points.. it didn't take a mathematician to know just how rigged it was.. but she was having so much fun he would never begrudge her of that.. she pointed out the wind chime.. the little jelly fish hanging from it as he smiled-.. Will certainly try my best love.. -he shot her a wink as he tossed those rings in an easy smooth succession.. the points earnt were a bit over the place though.. high and low.. smaller penny prizes and then some of the larger ones.. it took quite a few tries and more than enough silver to get that wind chime though.. but he was able to secure it for her.. reaching across to tap the end of her nose when she turned to him.. all trussed up in the items he had just won for her.. her compliments though got the desired reaction.. his cheeks flushed as he laughed a little awkwardly.. sliding his arm around her as the two of them wandered away from the stall he had given her the lead.. she knew this place better than he.. catching a glimpse of where she was wanting to go next.. this very colourful slide?.. was it a slide?.. he couldn't be certain but whatever it was it certainly made her excited.. she ran up those stairs with an incredible amount of speed.. -.. Yes.. yes Im coming I promise..

-he chuckled when she called him out on being a bit on the slower side.. they reached the top and were handed those burlap sacks.. he glanced down at his questioningly before she showed him what they were meant to do.. sit on it more or less.. he exhaled.. reaching across to scratch at the back of his neck.. it was an odd activity.. he settled down.. watching as she took that sudden and swift slide.. hitting the bumps as her underwear was on display when her dress went flying.. he laughed.. giving a shake of his head..he watched her take the slide over and over.. he just the once though.. his journey down was a bit more casual.. but smoother.. fun fairs were interesting.. but he was far.. far from an adrenaline junky.. he remained at the base of the colourful plastic.. watching as she laughed and squealed.. when she drew an audience at her adorable antics.. he had slid his hands down into his pockets.. watching her.. marvelling at how she was just so open and sunny bright.. soon she would settle.. he would slid his arm around her.. palm to her lower back as they walked.. -.. Oh really?.. -he would question when she spoke about loving this next activity.. that it was one of her favourites.. it looked to be steam powered.. the swings though perplexed him a little.. he made sure she was safe and secure before he would settle into his own swing.. his fingers curled around hers.. feeling the gentle squeeze as he smiled.. the ride soon filled with people and they began to move.. he held on a little tighter than was necessary to begin with.. more so the unknown was grabbing him a little.. before he recalled she told him to look out the side.. the view.. he turned.. glancing down over the land beneath.. the sea spread out before them.. glittering and beautiful.. his smile grew-.. Oh now that is stunning.. what a beautiful view.. Wow..

it was a nice ride.. probably a bit more his style.. subdued.. not so erratic.. hand in hand they would soon be.. wandering down one of the many aisles.. -..I am a bit peckish yes.. what does my beautiful guide recommend?.. -he would question.. leaning in to press a kiss to her forehead before she guided him over to the food stalls and trucks..her height causing issue caused him to laugh a little.. nodding as he took his own coins and ordered this.. funnel cake.. and fizzy pop.. which all sounded incredibly foreign.. catching a glimpse of this.. oddly shaped sticky cake.. and the bottles with the bubbles.. he watched her to see how this was meant to be eaten before he would take a bite himself.. drawing his brows inward.. it was kind of odd.. bit weird.. tasty and incredibly sweet.. -.. Well.. thats.. thats different.. -he laughed as he dragged a bit of that powdered sugar across his lower lip.. her burp though nearly had him choking on his cake as he laughed-.. Wow.. that was a bit cute then ..-he nudged her with his elbow.. chuckling quietly as he took a small drink from the incredibly .incredibly sweet fizzy drink.. grimacing a little as it burned all the way down his throat at first.. -. and people have this.. usually?.. I.. cant fathom how anyone would be able to on the regular.. -he chuckled-.. I mean dont get me wrong.. it's good.. but Wow.. holy hell its sweet.. -she guided him through the food area.. the pickles and pizza.. the caramel apples and cookies.. bits and pieces of everything.. she was making sure he got the chance to taste a little bit of everything.. the picnic area was sweet.. and perfectly timed..

he could certainly use the spot to sit for a little while.. he settled down to sit.. placing his half drunk bottle to the side there as he pulled her in between his thighs.. resting her back to his chest as he slid one arm around her.. This has been an experience.. and a half.. -he smiled-.. Thankyou.. really.. this was wonderful.. and more than anyone has ever done for me.. You're such a beautiful person.. -he leant in to steal a bite of that pizza of hers.. finding that cheese incredibly stringy and melty.. enough to make him have to catch it with his fingers-.. I fear we wont need supper at the estate tonight after this.. we will be curled up in a corner somewhere.. napping like small children that have had far to much to eat.. -he chuckled and nodded.. he relaxed.. settling back a little.. his head resting to the tree their blanket was near.. his free hand nursed that bottle of pop as he just looked out over the scene playing out before them.. the families.. the children.. the breeze was beautiful and warm.. the sea kept it just cool enough so it wasn't uncomfortable.. - This was just what I needed...just what We needed. -and he was being honest.. 100%.. he needed to get away from all the issues back at the house.. he knew they would still be there when they got back.. but they could forgo it for a little while longer.. just enjoy each others company-

[BadInfluence]

She wanted this day to be for him to smile and laugh, let a lot of those worries, those concerns just float away on the sounds of fair organs and the whirr of steam powered engines that made it all light up and move... But that didn't mean she wasn't going to have fun with him. As such she dragged him along with her to the side, the perfect way to break him in, nothing too intense but in her mind? Ultra fun! You got those awesome little flutter bumps in your stomach and got good air sometimes, and really, what person doesn't love a slide? A take back to younger years where you could be happy and innocent... It was also a favorite of hers so even though she got him to go down it once? It wasn't enough for her and she went down it a few times, just letting herself unfold in the moment and the laughter, taking a bow for the crowds before they'd head off together once again. At least he went down once! But perhaps some of the more thrilling rides and such might not be his thing. Totally good! The fair was a mix of those more leisurely rides and stuff that got the heart pounding, it all depended on what you wanted to do, what would make you smile the most.



His hand on her lower back was sweet, it was a way to claim her but she didn't think he meant it like that, he was being the gentleman as ever as he would always be. But it definitely showed the other guys there that she belonged to him and she was more than happy to sit with that one. "Really really." She said with a smile after confessing the swings were one of her favorite. It was a sweet little ride, nothing too heart pounding, nothing intense. Rather it was sweet, sort of fairy like really, mixing a good dose of childhood fantasy with reality... And given she knew they weren't far from the ocean here? If this went as high as it looked it might then he'd get quite the beautiful view from their spot. Hence why she wanted him on the outside. She caught his hand on hers as they held close as the ride began to lift, catching the way he held her so much tighter, and she just squeezed his hand back a little tighter. "It's ok, I'll never let anything bad happen to you Jacob, just a little leap of faith to see something beautiful." She said and as they began to rise and the swings tilting outward by the momentum of the spin he'd be able to see it, that gorgeous sea just stretching on and on forever into the horizon, seagulls and pelicans soaring on weightless wings while seals barked on their warm rocky beds. "It is, isn't it? This world... It's hard, cruel sometimes too, even seeming heartless but... It's hard to hate it when you see just how beautiful it can be." She knew how hard this morning had been for him and she wanted him to know that pain was only temporary, it was going to be ok, this was all going to pass... And no matter how dark the storm clouds, the rain was what made flowers bloom and crops grow... You needed the sad so you could value the sweet...



The music as it played it's peppy, happy melody as the machine swung about before it would slowly begin to lower and once it stopped, everyone dismounted and they began to walk down the isle that was full of food stalls, asking if he had a bit of an appetite yet and when he said he was peckish and what to get? Ah she loved him... Did he know that? "Well let's get a bit of everything and see what you like? There's a lot of wild stuff you can get here, everything from sweets to savories and a bit in between, it just depends on what you like!" They had money to burn after all so why not try a bit of everything? She was laughing a bit when she discovered some things didn't change... Like the height of the stalls for instance... But! Because she couldn't reach it meant he also snuck the paying for everything here himself and she poked him lightly for it but smiled all the same. The first item on order was some funnel cake, nothing fancy but something about it was SO good! She laughed herself when she watched the way he was eating it, the looks on his face was so varied, open and she just loved to watch him. "I know, right? It looks sooo weird! Like a maze of dough but it's so good and sweet, the outside is sort of crunchy but the inside is fluffy and warm. I love the stuff!" She said as they ate and walked, the fizzy drink yeah, once in a while she actually got a horrifically bad craving for them but on the daily? Oh god no! She was laughing and nodding her head as she took a swig only to have that carbonation make her burp and oh WOW was that ever embarrassing! At least he laughed though and she could smile at him all while blushing and ducking her head a bit still all the same. "I forgot how the bubbles get me. Bit of a side effect I'm afraid!" She said before he took a much smaller drink and his face! Oh his face! It was her turn to laugh now and she couldn't help looping her arm about his waist and drawing him in for a tight one armed hug. "No, it's one of those really rare treats, only at fair time because you need the sugar to get through everything without falling on your face." She said with that laughter still in her voice as she kissed his arm. "I get cravings for it sometimes but it's virtually impossible to find unless it's summertime and the fair is on. It's hard to make the bubbles, you know?" Well, for humans anyways, no magic meant chemical reactions needed to be relied upon.



To the picnic area they went and by their luck had this perfect little area all ready and waiting for them, settling everything down on that table before she'd go to sit only to get caught by him and his arms, pulled into his lap while she laughed. "Yeah?" She said, settling in more comfortably into his lap, seeing that smile just made her whole world that much brighter and better. She was sharing bits of food with him before he complimented her and bam, there went that blush again, her cheeks rosy pink but oh... It was all for him. "I didn't know that... Like, I knew you've always been so focused, your eyes take in a target and you don't stop till you get there... But you know..." She said, feeding him bites of that delicious and cheesy pizza, laughing softly as he pulled back with strings still following him. Only the BEST pizza does that. "You gave me a lot more than this in the time you've been with me. You helped me find out who I was, what I was, you helped me find my name... You brought me into a place where I could follow my passions, so I could finally achieve my dream, and all the while you've supported me every step... My ups and downs, the good days and the really bad ones, our sorrows and our joys. You never wavered, you always held my hand, walking beside me..." He'd given her the world and he didn't even know it... This trip? Was just a small thing but she wanted to give him so many more firsts, to help him catch up on everything he'd missed before, to explore things they'd discovere together... That was all she wanted to do... More than anything else.



The pizza was polished off and next came to ribs for her, slathered in an amazingly tasty bbq sauce she did her best to limit the mess, licking her fingers and pulling off chunks for him, not sure if he had ever had ribs before and there was NEVER a way to eat them clean. Ever. Ribs down came potatoes next, baked and butter, loaded with cheese and bacon, chives and cheese... Oh it was SO GOOD. She nearly inhaled hers and his! But she held back a bit, making sure he got as much as he wanted before she polished it off, once again that never ending bottomless pit. Turkey drumsticks, fried chicken legs, fried frog legs oh my! Shrimp skewers with chunks of alligator oh my! Which she found out tasted JUST like chicken, much as the frog legs did, so something new there! The fizzy pop was gone and there was just the ice cold beers for the savory stuff, finishing hers off along with the large bit of a banquet, settling in with that crepe and the chocolate cherry ice cream inside. She leaned against him with a happy sigh and a smile. "I look forward to that nap time with you, snuggled in all nice and close... Remember when we used to do that in the library around the fireplace? We'd be going over books and just fall asleep on the couch... I used to blush so hard and get a bit nervous sometimes because you'd fall off with those spectacles on... All I wanted to do was take them off your nose and kiss you. I wanted to kiss you for such a long time but I was SO nervous. Afraid you'd not kiss me back." It wasn't just on his side after all, she had wanted to kiss him too and been just as nervous, maybe a little bit more than him... She'd toe off her boots and curl in a bit closer to him, sharing bites of her sweet and chilly treat, just perfect after all that delicious food and the breeze against their skin.



"I thought so too... We should do this more often... Take these little adventures to someplace new so we can have fun... To just relax... We're both guilty of being far too serious at times..." She said as she finished off that treat with him and the full spread of food was officially eaten, turning just a bit so her legs were crossed over his and her head was over his heart, her arms about his waist... They people watched for a while as the day slowly faded on, letting their food digest before they got up and moved around too much, stroking her fingers over his hands a bit. "So... I am thinking about heading back home with you... To the manse... I won't go as your student but (insert other teachers name here that I cant find and have forgotten! XD ) offered to take me on when ever I wanted. I'm almost done with my courses at the college so I won't take long at all back home and I can be closer to you..." They were engaged now, officially courting, so surely after a year having passed and them being in a legitimate relationship all that drama would have died down. As it was she hadn't heard anything about it in the papers for at least seven months now... It was safe to come back home... Right? She knew no where was safe with Grace, the woman had poisoned her twice but that didn't mean she'd let her keep her away forever, her place was by her man and she wasn't going to let Grace keep interfering. Not anymore... Plus there was more of a reason she was wanting to stay home... Stay closer...



"Plus... I'm kind of thinking... Maybe you know... We might try for a baby now... Officially." She hedged a bit, her fingers on her skirt idly picking at something that wasn't even there, just her nerves acting up... Every pregnancy she had? Was accidental. It was just freakish how easily she could get pregnant, even on birth control there wasn't the greatest guarantee but she had come to control it far better now than before, hence why since the miscarriage at the castle she hadn't gotten pregnant on any of the visits with Jacob or the nightly passions with Ace... But... Seeing all these children... These happy families rich with laughter and the pleasures of the world around them... "You know... We don't have to if you think it's a bad time and I can make sure I won't now... Figured out the right combination and stuff but... If you do... You know I've been keeping track of my body... I understand my genetics a lot better now and... Well if you do... This week is pretty good for conception... If... If you think you want to and it's a good time..." She didn't even care about going to the isle round with a belly anymore, who cared if she was pregnant when she got married? They could wait until she was slender again before they had the big ceremony for friends and family... And she knew, given this morning and the loss they both saw and felt, the loss of a mother and a friend... The loss of two small lives that couldn't be saved... Maybe it was a bad time... Or maybe it was the best time? "You don't have to answer right now it's just a thought, something to ponder on, a happier thing..." She said with a warm smile before she'd push up, reaching down to take his hands and help him up too, gathering up the paper plates and glass bottles to take to the trash.



"Come on, there's a whole lot more to see and do, we're only half way done." With that said she'd take his hand and lead him down towards some of the more casual rides, one of them a big, beautiful, intricately decorated ferris wheel. She guided him to this one easily and after the toll was paid by one or the other of them she'd line up and snag one of the sea horse ones, sitting side saddle with her legs draped over the other side, heels of her boots on the stirrup as she waited for him to get on one himself. Slowly the ride began to fill up and once it was? The music would start and they'd begin, the gentle rise and fall of the horses and the perfectly paced spin of the machine was beautiful, and as they went along there was a group of men walking along the ride as it moved and offering to draw portraits of the people there. She instantly snagged him and slid off her horse and onto the front of Jacobs, thankfully due to her small size she easily fit between himself and the metal bar, her head on his chest and a brilliant smile on her face. The portrait didn't take too long at all, perhaps five minutes or so before it was done and the fee was paid, the paper handed over to them on a simple cardboard frame... And to her? It was perfect...It had been done in charcoal and chalk, soft colors with gentle sunlit hues, giving the whole thing a fairy like quality which she just adored. "Awww... He did really good! This one is getting framed once we're back home."



This ride went on longer and she just sat in silence on his lap, her head over his heart as they span around, oblivious to the 'aww's' and 'so cute' said by older couples on the ride and watching from the sidelines. She was just thrilled to be here with him, having fun and just enjoying the time, but the ride didn't go on forever, no more than the sun did... It was starting to get darker, the sun beginning to set and that was when the fair really came alive with vibrant neon lights, music starting to be played for the older crowds now... Families beginning to head home with tuckered out children. They'd dismount and that was when she lead him to the vendor stalls, you could find anything from make up to jewelry and everything in between, all of it hand made from people all over the country. They made a killing off of her and Jacob though, she bought him some very uniquely patterned ties and some beautiful suspenders with engraved clasps and tooled leather gathers... She bought him a new suede fedora in a blue so rich it was almost black, just like his hair and the white streak of satin along the brim was just too sharp! She got him a few belts too, buying a bigger satchel to fit it all in too, picking up some ultra cute sandals for herself too. She found some leather garters which were too cool and she snatched those up too, a pipe for Diovan's opium and a beautiful ivory cigarette holder for Sydel... Some supposedly dragons milk whisky for Garafin and a beautiful sunhat for Daetaru... For Anouk? Only the best little chinese silk clutch with real gold clasps and tooling that could also have a chain attached to turn it into a sharp little purse. Vivian got a book of poetry in brale... She also snagged up some ultra cute baby clothes from a child specific vendor for the new baby who's name she still didn't know, getting a few little wooden toys and a rattle as well... An who else? Oh! Gia and Thaylan! Those were harder but she settled on a pair of matching bracelets made of white jade for them, one masculine and the other more feminine, something really pretty and very unique. She picked up a couple little bottles of perfume for herself and some as gifts for her girlfriends back home, and she picked up some makeup for Kat who was always such a show stopper and rocked her make up from dawn till dusk, and she picked up some hair dyes for Anya who loved to color her hair.



She then picked up jewelry for herself, a ton of various hair things which were too cute not to get, and even picked up flower coronet with silk ribbons down the back which promptly got put on her head with a bright smile. Once the shopping was done it was full on dusk and she? Smelled amazing in her new perfume, something rich and musky, alluring and very sensual that she found addictive. What did they use in it? She had no idea but she'd pick it apart later so she could make it herself. If not her? Then Sydel who knew just as much if not more than she did about plants. While they walked she caught the sounds of screaming and she looked up at Jacob in a bit of a panic... Pausing... Waiting... More screams and shrill... She hit panic mode, thinking something was wrong so she would take off in the direction of the screams with Jacob close in tow. Had a wild animal broken lose? What came before them though was not an animal attack, nor someone going wild and trying to cause trouble, instead? It was a horror house, something she had heard of but never seen before, the thing was quite imposing with ghosts and ghouls, terrifying possessed dolls and who knew what else there on the front... She actually shivered and again heard another scream and she curled into Jacobs side a bit more. "I heard about these before by some of the nurses..." She leaned in and said lowly into his ear. "They wouldn't tell me what was inside but they said it was a lot of fun..." But what in the hell could be fun about that place?! It looked utterly horrifying... But... Then again... She took a swallow and straightened her shoulders a bit. "I wanna go in." She said, tilting her head back and drawing herself up to her full almost five feet and zero inches, putting on a brace face. "I'm not scared of no ghosts..." She was slipping back into a different form of speech, a little rougher, a little less refined... For all she said she wasn't afraid... The slight shake to her hands said otherwise... "Come on..." She said at the final second and took his hand to drag him in with her.



Ok... So she might be a LITTLE scared... She sure as hell wasn't going to go in there alone! So up the steps they walked, Jacob paying for the entrance fee as all her money was finished with the shopping she had done, the heavy black leather curtain pulled back and inside was pitch black... She whimpered a little but took a brace step forward, somewhere ahead there was a light, leading them on. "Ok... So...Not too bad, right?" She whispered to Jacob as they walked along... Only to find the light was a lie, just a pin hole in a wall, which they promptly walked into. She made an ooof sound as she reached out to push off the wall, feeling along it and as she did so she felt something like... Worms... Or... Rotting flesh... She shrieked and jumped back, clinging to Jacob's side like a tick, shaking like a leaf. "OHMIGOD Jacob there's nasty on the wall omg! No no no no no! Ewwww noooooo! Just... I- Ewwwwwwww~" She shivered and flailed a little and nudged him forward. "You... You touch it... Feel along and see which way we gotta go... Please?" She asked as they went along and thankfully they got out of that area and the place lit up a little more, candles and lamps here and there, illuminating grizzly scenes like someone being tortured on the rack... Another being hung... Someone cooking body parts in a pot... Rats eating a dead body...Ok... Gross... But not scary... They were walking by the hanging man before it suddenly screamed and began to jerk and convulse and she instantly screamed herself and actually jumped onto Jacob's side and clung to him with her legs wrapped around his side, her face white as a ghost... But then the thing stopped moving and she realized it was animated and she sort of just slid off of him a bit. "What SICK mother-" She said, putting her hand over her heart and tapping it there, trying to catch her breath. "That scared the bejeezus out of me!" She said as she'd take his hand again and they'd keep on walking, some of the scares were little things, like the rats suddenly moving that made her jump back and cling to him with a sudden cry... Others were huge, like the person suddenly lunging out at them from the dark in a crazy clown costume that made her scream and actually grab Jacobs hand and run.



When they finally came out the other end? Her legs were butter, her knees were jello, she was white and shaky. Stopping on a little bench outside she just shook a bit and shivered. "That... Was scary. Sooooo freaking scary! Why would anyone DO that?!" She asked, totally befuddled at the purpose of anyone EVER wanting to get scared like that... Now...Here was the funny part... She might be a little squeamish with spiders but things like that? Jump scares and the like. Terrified the hell out of her! Like she was shaking and clinging to him on that bench. "Let's go do something fun... Like... Yeah lets get some cotton candy and pop corn and go watch the circus show... My heart can't do that again ohmigod..." She'd take his hand and let him lead the way this time, the big top was hard to miss after all, that brightly colored leather tent at the end of the clearing. Once inside though the space was wide and open, smelling of circus food and animals, not a bad mix surprisingly. She sat beside him then in some choice seats as they were the first to arrive, settling in comfortably as she shared her large bag of cotton candy with him, just curled in close... Apparently this sort of thing? Turned her into a massive cuddle bug when she got the living daylights scared out of her.




Carousel

haunted house

Circus tent    circus tent interior

[Deleted]

-they had settled down on the soft grasses.. it was cool and fresh even with the picnic rug beneath them.. he took a sneaky bite of that pizza and the two of them laughed at the way the cheese seemed to pull and hang.. he thanked her.. for everything she had done for him this day.. he needed this.. more than perhaps he had even realised.. his heart needed a distraction.. his mind too.. and this was perfect.. -..I will continue to support you at ever single step.. we will share those ups and downs.. the good days and the bad.. front and centre.. Ill always be there to support you.. You have my word on that.. and Ive not broken a promise yet.. it's not the way I was raised.. -he brushed his lips to the side of her head.. just softly.. he meant it.. he would be her support.. just like she would be his.. they would walk this world together.. hand in hand.. when he faltered she would reach for him.. and when she stumbled he would be there to catch her.. thats how it was supposed to work.. right?.. he felt her leaning against him as the day wore on a little more.. he reached to wrap his arm around her.. holding her gently.. warmly as his chin rested atop her head.. she spoke about how they used to do this.. relaxing.. turning into napping.. when she was his student.. his smile grew and he laughed a little-.. Ahh yes.. I recall those nights very fondly.. I do believe I often woke up on that couch.. aching neck from my awkward positioning..

-his cheeks flushed a little when she spoke on hos much she wanted to kiss him-.. Oh.. dont you worry.. those very thoughts crossed my mind on more than one occasion too.. I just knew I couldn't.. and shouldn't.. You're smile was what grabbed me first angel... there in that lecture hall.. out of all the faces.. and there were a lot there.. yours stood out to me.. you looked interested.. like.. intrigued and passionate.. and thats what I wanted.. then I found out you were kind and sweet.. you had a heart of gold.. impeccable manners.. incredibly intelligent.. sharp witted.. and funny.. as the days wore on.. in that big old house it became harder to ignore what I was feeling.. the.. draw.. -he took another drink of that fizzy soda before placing the bottle back down-.. I like the idea of little adventures here and there yes.. that sounds wonderful.. keeps the mind sharp.. -he exhaled-.. yes.. I am guilty of being a little too serious sometimes.. you will have to pull me up on it.. please pull me up on it love if I get too much.. -he nudged her side.. she told him she wanted to go back to the Manse with him.. to finish her studies.. that Dr Faelon had offered to take her on whenever she desired-.. Are you sure?.. I mean I wont argue against it.. of course not.. it could be a little bumpy at first.. but yes you are right.. there would be nothing against us .. though we would have to stay in separate rooms.. just be aware.. closer.. and when you're not in class we could be together but of an evening.. on the grounds.. no..-he chuckled and nodded.. she brought up maybe trying for a baby..he tilted his head.. that smile still playing about his lips-.. You wouldn't mind studying whilst pregnant?.. I mean.. yes I would love to start a family with you my love.. nothing would make me happier..

-he squeezed her a little tighter-.. You just need to decide how you want your timeline to sit.. or.. are we just going to wing it.. -he gave her a playful wink.. it would be time to move on.. making sure the area was cleaned up before she guided him down back through the fair grounds..a carousel .. beautifully painted with all manner of creatures.. he watched as she got on first.. he settled in there beside her.. the music was soft.. childlike and enchanting.. the portrait artists were intriguing.. he shifted a little to accommodate her .. cradling her there against his chest whilst their picture was drawn.. silver was spent and he glanced down at the end result. a beautiful fairy like image-.. Just beautiful They really are very good at what they do.. -she lead him down to the vendor stalls.. where she would shop to her little hearts content.. he would do well to help her carry the items.. gifts for friends and family.. he wandered on occasion.. glancing over the ornaments and jewellery.. the cologne and clothing.. there was a bit of everything for everyone.. he caught the eye of one of the vendors.. and after dropping a few coins he chose something quaint.. something a bit cute for her.. to remind her of the beautiful day she had taken him on.. returning to her side.. coming around from behind he reached around her.. holding a crystal rose.. it shined and sparkled.. it was abit garish.. but it just screamed carnivals and fairs..-.. a beautiful flower for a beautiful woman.. -he pressed his lips to her shoulder there..

he followed her .. watching as she browsed and purchased.. possibly making up for all the lost chances she had as a child in places like this.. his arms were soon littered with bags and items.. the screams though had his brow rising.. the two of them heading in that direction only to find one of those horror houses.. feeling her crawling in closer to him had him chuckling a little.. -.. Its alright.. it's just like a scary story.. in action I believe.. -she seemed to psych herself into it.. dragging him in with a chuckle a moment later .. the payment was made and inside they went.. stepping into darkness.. he walked beside her.. till they reached the wall.. her shrieking surprised him more than whatever was on the wall.. he laughed-.. Dear Rose.. you have had your hand in someones womb today.. I am quite certain you can handle whatever is on that wall.. -he shifted along until he found out the direction they had to move on to.. wandering through candles and lamps.. torture scenes.. someone being hung.. but as they went past the painting and it lurched for them .. it was her scream that actually frightened him more.. it took him by enough surprise that he jumped back a little himself.. laughing a moment later.. She was more frightening than anything in the house.. he wrapped his arm around her.. keeping her close to him as they continued on.. making their way out.. -.. mmhmm.. I guess if you want the Doctors answer sweetheart.. people go for the adrenalin rush fear causes.. that sharp sense of fight, freeze or flight.. it can be quite addictive.. -he rubbed against her upper arm then.. the two of them moved toward the large coloured circus tent..settling down on seats then as she shared her cotton candy with him.. this was nice.. just.. settling in.. enjoying a show.. they didn't have to do anything.. they could just curl up together and watch.. -.. You are too perfect.. -he rested his head against hers-

[BadInfluence]

"I know but... You do realize how rare that is, right? Even the best people falter sometimes, their feet slip on the path, sometimes they are so drained they can't take another step but... But not you. You're like the moon to my sea, you're always there, helping me rise and fall as I need to really and truly live." His loyalty, his never wavering devotion, his strength and just pure sense of purpose... That was such a rare thing in this world, in any world really, but he always talked like it was... Guaranteed. "You can raise a fish with birds but that doesn't mean it will fly... Garafin did a beautiful job with you as his parent but so much of this? Is you. One hundred percent You. No one else." A parent could only do so much and go so far for a child, genetics played a part she would admit entirely but the fact was that so much of this was entirely his heart, his soul and the genuine love for others in his soul... Something you never would have thought to find in the child of a witch elf but then again she and Jacob... They were of a different type. Perhaps it was the influence of their shared father? Perhaps it came from living around humans for so long but either way he? Was one of a kind.



Thoughts rolled onto the days of funny nap sessions on couches with books in hand or, realistically, fallen onto the floor or ones lap... Just so comfortable with one another, the simple presence of each other was always so warm and soothing, like the touch of a mother or the embrace of a warm blanket. "It was always my legs for me, I always fell asleep with them curled under me so when I woke up it was the Worst pins and needles, EVER. I fell more than a few times trying to get up!" She said with a warm laugh and more than a bit of a blush on her cheeks, those days, those weeks... Oh they were so beautiful and bright, like a warm sunny day just before summer starts, just bubbling over with promise for what was to come. She wouldn't have changed any of it for the world, not the good days or the bads, she loved it all... Loved keeping him safe, loved laughing with him and eating with him, making sure he had his dinners and was getting his meals in... Making him tea and cookies... And all the while her feelings for him just blossomed slow and sweet more and more, knowing it was considered very poor taste, that it could cause so many ripples... But she didn't want to change it, she didn't want to stop having those feelings or deny them to herself, though it had also taken her some time to... Act on them. Well... Time and a certain book he had given her... "It was the tattoos... I thought you had ink on your hand but when I realized it was something else? And then the way your cuffs were a bit mussed up... Your collar a little crooked... Hair a touch messy... Like you were caught having fallen asleep studying..." She teased him softly and gave him a warm squeeze as she sat in his lap and in his arms. "You were charming to me because you weren't perfect... You looked like someone so down to earth, not serious but not a slacker either, someone who I felt I could get on with very well." Too well she had found as the days had gone on and realized being around him was as natural and easy as breathing.



Before she even really knew what had happened, she had fallen in love with him and once that door was opened, that first kiss taken... There was nothing left to fight. It had slowly progressed from there, sweet soft touches, stolen kisses and... More intimate things in wild areas and places where they wouldn't be found... Until that just wasn't going to be enough and she had left, forced to leave due to circumstances of violence and dastardly deeds, she had picked up her education elsewhere... Wanting to be finished quickly so that she might come back to him all the sooner but two miscarriages, meeting Ace and going to Silverthorn, her own third miscarriage... Time slipped away and she put in a leave during the last stretch... She had kept up with her schooling through books but there were the physical exams for her to take but those? She could do soon enough... All that she pushed out of her mind as she told him they should do things like this more often, sneak out to places like fairs and what not, have some fun and let their hair down. "It doesn't have to keep the mind sharp." She said with a laugh as she shook her head. "Perhaps keeps things from becoming repetitive but... These are to unwind, to have fun and relax, to let yourself go for a bit. Keeping the mind sharp is what we do every day as doctors. What we need to focus on is learning to let the line soften from time to time... Not always so... Crisp." He and she both at times could get way too focused on something, almost to the point of obsession, and while it was a beautiful talent for a doctor? It wasn't something that was exactly good for ones emotional or mental well being on the whole. "I promise I will pull you up on it often. Chances are I'll need it just as much as you do." She said with a wink as she told him something she had been thinking about... Something she had planned for a little while now.



"I know we'll have to abide by all the house rules, I fully planned and expected that sweetheart, I wouldn't expect things to change." Flex on a rule for her then everyone was going to be wanting special treatment. You couldn't make an exception without things going to utter chaos and in a medical school environment, especially the dorms, the LAST thing you could afford was that. "Honestly, sleeping in separate rooms, it's not different to what we've been doing is it? We get small times here and there when schedules allow, and with me being closer, we can take more time together because you won't have to travel.... Besides... Just enough around you? It's enough." They could still laugh and talk, still study, still be friendly with each other just... Intimacy would have to wait for the proper time and place. It was very much worth anything and everything to her right now just to have this time with him... And a chance to keep an eye on him and keep him safe. She had a feeling with this newly bulked physique Grace would be on him like white on rice and without her being there? There was no one to stop her. She did offer one other thing though, an idea, something to dance with perhaps... They had talked about it a bit on and off with some very sad occurrences along the way but they hadn't had the chance to actually plan it, like take an active part in conception, to plan out the birth of a child rather than finding out she was pregnant accidentally... She saw his smile and she nodded her head, taking his hands in hers and playing with him, gently running her finger across his new ring. "Not really, it was just really hard being so far away from you, and the course matter was new so it was all rather stressful. But I'll be back home, near you, all of it would be different." Would... Not will... She had no control over the future, no more than he did, but she knew certain stressors would be gone. "As for a time line I don't know..." She said with a bit of a laugh as you know, planning that sort of thing wasn't a thought that had crossed her mind, nothing was guaranteed after all so getting that ahead? Seemed a little too mind boggling, like counting your chicks before they were hatched, she didn't think that was going to bode too well. "How about... We wing it at first? See how it goes and if nothing happens then we'll take to planning it, give us a chance to set up the dice and such, so to speak."



Once the food was done and the garbage thrown they went back to perusing and walking about, at least till they got to the carousel in which case they settled into a pair of matching horses beside each other and began to enjoy the gentle ride, nothing about it heart thumping or andrealyn inducing. It was slow... Sweet... The perfect ride for couples in all genuine honesty. She'd sit there beside him for some time, just enjoying the soft music and his company before the artist would come by, asking random couples if they'd like their portrait done. She of course snatched it up rapidly and happily switched her horse to his so she could settle into his lap, smiling warmly as the two of them were curled in close, and the picture? Really was so beautifully drawn, it had this fairy like quality to it, gently illuminated with the softest of colors which made it very dreamlike. "Yes they are, I didn't catch their ears but I would bet they're a Sylvan, such a soft hand with the colors..." She was going to frame it as soon as she could, terribly excited about the prospects of it, a beautiful little moment caught on paper for them forever. Shopping ensued once the ride was over and oh she enjoyed herself immensely, unaware that he was looking for things too, so that when he presented to her that crystal rose? "Oh!" She said, taking it very gently between her fingers, tears starting to well as she rubbed at her eyes. "Oooooh... Thank you, it's so beautiful Jacob..." She said with a little bit of a sniffle but a smile all the same. She leaned her head against his and kissed his temple before he'd move away and they finished shopping, or rather, she did. Making up for lost time? Of course. But the stuff you could get here was also very unique in regards to what you could get in Arvandor, different styles of craftsmanship, different types of beauty... Like a precious gem, the surface was in it's raw form, Arvandor a perfectly cut masterpiece. There was no change in the value of the thing, just the presentation, that was all. She made sure she got gifts for everyone she cared about before it was time to move on, though when she heard the screams, the two of them immediately made their way over to it.



At first? She thought it might be some sort of an accident, a type of circus animal lose perhaps, or a human struggling with insanity lashing out... But what she found? Was some sort of a house of horrors, and while she had never been in one before, she had however heard of them from the girls at school. They liked them but never told her why, only that it was a lot of fun, especially if you had a boyfriend. Well? She had something a whole lot better than a boyfriend and she wondered what it was all about... Why not try it? "How very peculiar... Still, nothing ventured, nothing gained and I'd like to see... What all the hub-bub is about..." She said as she would take him with her towards the haunted house, clinging a bit close to him but not too bad, not yet... Because once she was inside? Oh that WALL! That had her freaking out and jumping back, clinging to him and begging him to touch the wall instead of her, it just felt SO gross! "WITH GLOVE ON!" She whined pathetically as he did make a good point, but honestly in her mind the two were very different, she knew the insides of a body and she could see what she was doing, this was in the dark and she had NO idea what waited for her. "It's nasty!" She gently patted his shoulder before he'd move and she'd be right there in his shadow before the place opened up and revealed those little cut scenes of horror, and while ok, that was new? It wasn't too bad at all. Macabre but tolerable... Until the damn thing jumped at her and she shrieked, jumping onto him and clinging for dear life as her heart raced in her chest faster than lightning strikes the ground, unable to breath as that scared the living daylights out of her! She was so damned grateful for him when he wrapped his arms about her and while some of those did scare her a few more times, at least this time she was expecting it, well... Sort of? It kept her fear to a much more minimal level so she could handle it, and when they were done and out of there, she plopped down onto a bench to try and slow her racing heart. She spoke out loud on how she could not fathom anyone wanting to do that to themselves! It was madness in and of itself and she wasn't about to go anywhere NEAR that! His answer had her laughing softly though and she shook her head. "Goddess above! If I want a rush I just drag you into the bedroom and that's all I need. I'll leave the haunted house stuff to everyone else, that is NOT for this girl, nope!" She said shaking her head before they'd make their way to the circus tent, more than happy to curl up with some drinks and popcorn, a bag of cotton candy between them to share as they waited for the shows to start. Right now though? It was just him and her.



Sighing softly as he moved in against her, their heads together at the temple, just watching the low colored lighting move along the packed earth center. "You too... I haven't had this much fun in my life." And it was... It was so much fun, even if the horror house had scared her silly it was beautiful, just amazing honestly. She'd feed him bits of cotton candy or pop-corn depending on what he wanted as the crowd slowly began to fill in before suddenly every seat, every isle was pretty much filled and the lights dropped, settling the popcorn in his lap and the cotton candy in hers. She watched as slowly this rather rotund man came into the center of the floor, bright red jacked and tails with a gold vest, black top hat and trousers began to speak in probably one of the loudest voices she had ever heard in her entire life. "He's almost louder than Garafin!" She said quietly into Jacob's ear with a smile as the man began to announce the sort of displays they were to have on, tricks and names of various show acts, everything on sample for the evening.



The first act began with elephants, and while she had never seen one in person or even up close, she had read about them and she was in awe of how big they were... And yet... They were so gentle... Quiet and surprisingly soft on their feet even as they walked with such gargantuan size. One elephant was heading towards a large ball in the center of the floor, and she thought at first that it was to be hefted up, perhaps kicked about like a soccer ball? But no... As she watched her hand found his as she squeezed it, one hand over her mouth as she wondered how in the world such a creature was to balance atop of that ball? Because most people couldn't do it for starters, but then to ask something so large, so pendulous... And yet? Like buttered silk the elephant was able to get onto the ball, and not only climb onto it but balance en pose, holding up a little red flag with the circus logo on it. Of course, like everyone else she would be applauding quite loudly, peanuts thrown to the sweet creature as treats. She happily bought a bag from a vendor to toss some to the gentle giant before more of them came out onto the floor, these ones all dressed in smart costumes where they'd go through various acts and poses, standing on each others backs and other such feats that had her laughing and clapping her hands. This went on for several acts before they took their final bow among a rain of peanuts before they'd slowly be lead out and in would come a man bearing several hoops, various sort of acrobatic stations before a man himself came out and behind him came a set of tigers. Her jaw hit the floor as she pointed them out to Jacob, the twin beauties going through various tricks themselves, leaping through the rings or jumping over bars... Swimming in a tank of water to hunt the large fish within it... Then those rings were set afire and the tigers leapt through each one, one after the other and each time her heart was in her throat, and each time they succeeded she clapped along with the rest.


elephant act 1     elephant act 2     tiger



Next came the acrobats, the circus performers who did literally anything you could imagine on wires outside of sex, her jaw perpetually hanging a bit as she watched in marvel at the sheer skill and sense of balance they had to have. More than once she felt her heart just about stop as someone wobbled on the line, another seeming like they might fall, her hands coming up to cover her face as she held her breath. Oh madness! Insanity! But it kept you watching, your attention always on what was going on, like you couldn't turn your face away for long! There were horses int he acts in some, chairs and bicycles in others, and rings of fire in these too! It was thrilling, intense, a show stopper and each act seemed intent on outdoing the other! The gasps, the sounds of exclamation, the sudden cries from people as it looked as though someone might fail. It was indeed the most intense thing she had ever seen and SHE worked in the surgery room! She was almost inhaling her popcorn at times, unaware she was even eating it, let alone that once or twice she jumped and spilled a bit down onto the floor. When the acts ended on that front she was almost relieved, sliding into a bit of a slump next to him with a watery laugh. "Oh my God I didn't want to stare but I couldn't look away! I thought they were going to fall SO many times! What about you? Liking it so far?" She'd ask before taking a drink of the lemonaid, watching and the place was cleaned up before a group of people began to come out, no stands... No hoops or vaults or trapeze work... She paused, seeing a group of, while definitely unique looking, she couldn't figure what it was...

trapeze 1   trapeze 2     trapeze 3   


Until the opening act began and a woman began to stick a nail into her nostril. "Oh no!" She gasped, leaning away before another nail followed the first... A third and then? The woman began to tap them in with a hammer... "OH MY YEEZUS!" She gasped and covered her mouth with her hands, eyes as big as saucers as this woman did what was definitely NOT normal, hell it shouldn't even be possible! She began to twitch then as she knew those nails were being hammered into the space between cleft and sinus ducts and she kept looking away, flinching each time the hammer struck before the music cued, the woman bowed and she thought ok... It was over... NOPE! The woman began to pull the nails OUT and she actually got squeamish at that point and had to hide her face in Jacob's shoulder and wait for him to tell her it was over before she'd peek her head out the side again, letting out a sigh of relief and fanning herself a bit. "That's something I can go without ever seeing again..." She said but the next acts? Well those were very interesting but nowhere near as uh... Shocking? The sword swallower was unique but she had seen those before out in the open. The fire dancers made her blush, no where near as errotic as the ones at Splinter but it definitely was a mental link, looking away and fanning herself a bit before the next act came on. This one? Was a bunch of brightly painted clowns who proceeded to do some incredibly good slap stick comedy while others performed elaborate plays on words. (think Abbot and Costello and The Three Stooges) By this time she was laughing so hard she was crying, her sides were on fore and she couldn't breathe, curled up next to Jacob as she slapped the seat beside her. Oh this act was the best so far! She was loving the jokes and making sure to keep many of them in mind for when she got back, to tell Kit and Anouk and Sydel, all of her friends. As this act ended too they were all gathered up with sheparks crooks which was honestly just the perfect way to go before the last act began...


Nails     sword swallowing  juggling   clowns 1     clowns 2     clowns 3   clown 4   clown 5



This one was a magic act, and while not Magic as the elves do, or those who were wizards and mages this was all sleight of hand... A beautiful representation of misdirection that was full of bright colors and flashes of light, smoke and mirrors, wires and trick rings but oh... It was beautiful for all it's falsehoods, the music was just perfect as it lended the best sort of electric zing to the scenes, melding and blending with each act to perfection. The crowd was full of oohs and aaaahs while she and Jacob watched with just simple enjoyment at the beauty of the surface world and what people could do with it, with just a little imagination, patience, and a whole lot of belief.
  


magic act



The circus ended then for the moment, another show to start up in two hours while the performers rested and rehearsed, and she with Jacob headed out like everyone else. There was one last thing she wanted to do now that it was full dark, the neon lights and soft yellow glow of tube bulbs made everything so magical, the sounds of laughter and the lingering scents of food still on the air... "Come on... Let's take one last ride before we head back..." She asked with a warm smile and if he said yes? They'd head to the ferris wheel where they'd get in line with everyone else, slowly making their way up and waiting for the seats to open, and once it was their turn? She'd settle in nice and close with him before she'd reach over and cover his eyes, kissing his cheek softly. "Just wait a moment." And she'd keep his eyes covered until they were well up into the air, the breeze a bit more chilly but felt oh so good, and once they were at the top. "Ok... Now look..." She said and dropped her hands so he could see the whole fair opened up around them, all the bright glittering lights and the music, the people milling about under them and the moon bright as an illuminated pearl rising over the sea. "Your still more beautiful to me than all of this..." She said gently as she would capture his cheek in her hand and move in to kiss him slowly, softly as the wind played with their hair, making the day in her mind? Just utterly perfect.




ferris wheel    view from ferris wheel

[Deleted]

The day was beautiful, perfect even.. it started out so bumpy and rocky.. with the issues with his Mother.. and then the Brothers not holding up their end.. but this.. this was the best distraction, it was heart warming and left him with that fuzzy feeling ... everything really though.. from the side shows, the fabulous foods, the vendors and the rides.. all of it.. was like nothing he had ever really experienced.. and being at her side made it just all the more sharper.. it was sublime.. he knew in his heart that she was his other half.. she was the woman he had been waiting for.. praying for.. everyone else paled in comparison..they settled into the large brightly coloured circus tent.. the wooden seats near to the front.. his arm sliding around her.. keeping her close ..she had brought along some of the sweetest cotton candy and lemonade.. even some popcorn.. slowly the room begun to fill with people.. all sizes.. all ages.. everyone looking for a fun happy evening.. applause was roused when the ring master came into view.. her words on him being louder than Garrafin had him laughing and nudging her side-.. Oh im not so sure.. you havent been around him when he's been utterly and completely drunk.. ears ring..

-he shot her a playful wink.. the show begun.. they were entertained by the likes of large beasts performing acts that shouldn't have even been possible.. he was utterly enchanted by it.. all of it.. the acrobats and the dancers... the show and awe that came from watching the sword swallowers and the woman with the nails.. he felt her curling in.. wanting to look away.. only to not be able to.. oh he was amused.. -.. you have no idea how cute you are.. -he whispered into her ear with a chuckle.. they both laughed at the colourful clowns.. the utter nonsense and sillyness of it all was so very enjoyable.. he took a few small pieces of the popcorn when she wasn't shovelling it into her mouth.. her appetite was quite large.. perhaps it was because the food on offer was incredibly tasty.. the magic show was intriguing.. he pegged most if not all of it.. his incredibly analytical mind wouldn't allow him to be so easily fooled.. but seeing the way the children were completely engrossed and enchanted by it.. well that made him smile.. it came to a close.. the entertainers needing a well deserved rest..he applauded with good measure as the two of them slowly wandered out in amongst the masses.. Evening had settled in.. a star filled sky hung above them.. the breeze was crisp and a little cool..he slid off that jacket she had chosen for him.. placing it about her shoulders as she spoke about giving one last thing a go-.. Do lead on angel.. im right beside you..

-his fingers gave hers a bit of a squeeze as they approached this big circular wheel.. it was lit up beautifully.. soft music.. they found a seat in one of the carriages.. the bars being slid across as he pulled her in.. he blinked though when she covered his eyes-.. Whats this then?.. -he questioned.. hearing her tell him to wait a moment.. he smiled and gave her a little nod.. feeling the carriages shift then.. sharpened hearing was picking up the softness of the fair the higher they got.. before she pulled back and he was gifted with that spectacular view.. -.. Oh Wow.. -he breathed.. looking out over the bright glittering lights.. the people.. the moon.. the reflection on the soft waves in the distance.. it was stunning.. he blinked when she reached for him.. when he felt the softness and warmth of her fingers.. her words made his heart ache and he smiled as he turned to look to her.. - I thought someone like you only existed in my dreams.. You found parts of me I didn't know existed and in you I found a love I no longer believed was real.. Thankyou Rose.. Thankyou.. for being you.. and for loving me.. -he whispered.. leaning in just that little bit to meet that kiss.. that soft slow incredibly loving union.. it was pure romance.. heart melting.. soul defining.. something neither of them would ever.. Ever forget.. when it came to a slow close his forehead rested against hers..

he felt that soft colouring on his cheeks..and even in the soft chill he felt just warm.. with her.. the ride settled and stopped.. he took her hand and guided her down from the carriage.. making sure his coat was still upon her shoulders as the two of them made their way out.. back to the stables.. when he arrived there he paid off the attendant.. and then a bit more.. to make sure the second horse got back to the estate in the morning.. he turned back to her.. lifting her up from her waist as he helped her up onto his Horse then.. and he settled in behind her.. the ride back to the estate was slow.. purposefully.. he just was in no hurry for the night to end.. it was so quiet.. it was just so nice.. no issues.. no drama.. nothing.. just two young people very much in love.. sharing company as the night blanketed the surrounding forest in black.. he had one hand around her .. resting his palm against the flat of her stomach.. the other held the leather reigns as they re-entered the manicured grounds.. he would help her down first.. sliding down soon there after as the hired help took hold of the magnificent beast and would take care of it ..-.. I think it might be time for some nice calming tea after that mixture of incredibly delicious food.. .. How about.. we take some cushions and a blanket into the library.. settle in with some tea and fall asleep in awkward positions.. like old times.. -he chuckled.. guiding her into the incredibly silent house.. he would let her set up that area while he organised the tea.. a few small lightly flavoured cakes.. maybe a touch of brandy to chase away the chill..-

[Deleted]

She had remained silent and still..just laying there in that comatose state hours after leaving Naggaroth.. the better part of the day, well into the night and even into the early morning hours.. nothing made her stir.. a few physical changes had occurred.. Syns shocking burnt veins were one.. but.. once she had vanished..they did too.. the heart beat was the most noticeable.. on that machine.. it was so much stronger than she would have had since she had died.. that deep throbbing in her rest like state.. it was almost haunting.. but it was healthy.. a few freckles appeared on the very tops of her cheeks.. just a soft addition of spots against her pale skin.. her hair thickened.. remaining for the most part that delicate ivory..though the roots began to darken.. a lavender.. soft purple shading would settle in atop her crown.. it wouldn't flood the whole way.. just about the roots.. her clothing shifted.. the ink stained tshirt and shorts she had been wearing when she was trying the archery faded out..

in its place a yellow sundress.. it was plain and very simple.. something from Arvandor she would have worn before she died.. Diovan might have recognised it.. maybe.. but then again.. this one would have been from a very.. very long time ago.. the silence in the room would be cut by the sound of her taking a breath.. sure she could have waited till the morning to come out.. till the drugs that put her in that state were drawn back.. but when did she ever play by the rules.. her eyes stirred beneath closed lids as she twitched.. fingers flicked and curled a little.. a murmur as she rubbed her lips together.. another series of soft breaths as her head tilted to the side on the table.. before she would slowly blink her eyes open.. adjusting to the bright lights of the medical suite.. blurry.. blurry.. blinking a few more..

they were no longer white.. she had a matching pair.. like Jacobs.. blue and green.. the only real difference being hers had a much thicker limbal rings.. making the colouring sharper.. especially against the pristine pale of the whites.. she blinked a few more times..- mm?.. -she tried to speak.. but it came out very broken.. dry.. gravely and pitchy.. was there anyone there?.. she couldn't be sure.. it was so quiet.. why was it so quiet?.. where was everyone?.. -. hello?. -she called out in a whisper.. her hands shifted.. to pat along the side of the bed.. she went to move.. only to realise she couldn't.. her legs were not shifting.. they were not moving when she was willing them too.. her brows drew inward-.. what.. whats wrong.. -she whined-.. why cant I feel my legs?.. -she blinked again.. attempting it only to fail once more.. it would easily be the drug load.. the shock to the system when she flat lined.. it would come back.. in a day or so.. but there was no one around to really explain that.. -

Hair (but more of a purple not pink)
Dress

[Deleted]

Anya

.. ..she had spent the better part of a few days with her Mother.. away..off the beaten track.. in secret.. somewhere where the time slowed.. so whilst to everyone else it would only be that single day.. to her and Gia it was played over a couple.. tears fell and words were spoken.. a great deal of information was passed over.. home truths.. about who she was and where she was from.. how she came to be.. and what had happened there at the estate..all of it.. without gritty detail of course.. but enough for her to understand and to realise..the two.. Mother and Daughter had an incredibly special bond.. inseparable for the most part.. sharing a connection and whilst it had pained Gia to have kept the secret about her Father all this time.. when it came out.. well .. initially shock of course.. but.. she remembered meeting this Thaylan back in Silverthorn and seeing the sparkle in her Mothers eyes.. she knew.. deep down back then that there was something really special about this particular man.. for up until this point.. for the count of many years.. she had never seen that reaction from her Mother.. ever.

.she had to go and see him though.. she wanted to know him.. she'd missed out on so much already.. she would travel alone.. her Mother was far to rattled to return.. even after a good afternoon of trying to convince her otherwise.. the invitation remained open though and she hoped.. in the back of her mind that Gia might follow her back.. afterall.. a medical was needed.. puling her hood forward as she entered the estate.. it was nightfall.. darkness at her back.. from a distance she would look very much like her Mother.. they had a similar shape whilst cloaked.. similar height.. but the coloured blue hair poking through in places would give her away soon enough.. she pulled a small piece of thick paper from her pocket as she placed the note upon the main table.. it would be written to Rose..


Dear Friend

I am on the grounds for a couple of days and do sincerely hope we might have the chance to catch up?.. I have some pressing matters I need to discuss with you and a proposition you might well be interested in.

I hope to catch you on the morrow.. I promise I wont take up much of your time

With thanks and respect

Anya Navere


the note was folded, Rose printed across the front in perfect cursive.. a Navere seal in wax upon its back.. she moved across the hall then.. glancing out into the gardens of the estate.. manicured as they were.. lanterns.. grasses.. pools.. pretty she thought.. her curiosity got the better of her as she passed the medical wing.. looking through the glass square at the top of the door to see who she figured was Sydel.. upon one of the beds.. she had heard this surgery.. didn't go as well as expected.. she knew Sydel.. they had met on more than one occasion.. and she knew that Sydel had saved her Father from certain death.. her head bowed as a silent prayer went to the great goddess to offer the white witch safety and health...whispered words of devotion.. before she would slowly draw away.. turning to make her way down toward the chamber rooms.. she had asked where Thaylan was residing.. the hired help letting her know the room to head toward before she would move down that darkened hallway.. she would knock upon the thick wooden surface.. deciding not to barge right in considering she had been told he was with someone.. -.. Thaylan?.. -she would call out.. -

[BadInfluence]

"Really?" She said in a bit of a shock. True she'd never been around Garafin much, drunk or sober much of what she had seen from him was at formal family occasions, such as the congratulation party for Jacob's promotion and what not. "You know this half makes me want to make a sort of game out of it... Get Garafin truly sauced and then everyone has to take a shot each time he gets excessively loud." Though she feared if Jacob was right? More than a few people might end up with some serious liver damage... Might be fun! The circus acts were wonderful though, new and unique it wasn't like anything you could see on Arvandor or many of the other realms, some things were just very unique to humans... That was why she loved it and thought it might be just what he needed to really cap the day, put a feather in it and call it done, so to speak.

In those moments though, if she could have heard what was going on in his head though she would have easily called it a night because there would never have been anything that could have topped that, not a thing in the world. Instead she just curled in with him and watched the show, but those nails in the woman's nose, that REALLY freaked her out! His words in her ear were far too cute but she couldn't help what she was doing, unable to look away but she didn't want to watch, something like a train wreck really! "I'm glad you think so! But honestly! That's like going RIGHT into her soft palate! Just, oh God, just no-" She shuddered and thankfully it didn't last too long. Everything else was quite fun and enjoyable, a bit of the wow factors and the incredible trapeze acts and the like, and the clowns. Oh that had her crying laughing in the best sort of way and it was absolutely a riot. The magic act last... Like Jacob she could pick it out, the various slight of hands, the smoke and mirrors... But the fact that they still did something so artistic, to make believe at magic, to watch childrens eyes light up and the old remember a fonder time... It was more beautiful than any real magic could be in the end... After all Magic? Was just another form of art and humans? Well they had a style all their own.

Once the acts were over there was just one last place she wanted to go... The perfect end to the day for them. "Always..." She said with a smile when he said he was right beside her, leading him towards the beautiful ferris wheel, the simple seats that rocked slightly and the bright colored lights along the sides... Once they were there she smiled at his question and nodded her head. "It's the ferris wheel, it's the highest ride and probably the most romantic one, many a stolen kiss happens in the dark on this ride." Said with a smile as she'd lead him along, slowly making their way forward in the line, the casual stop-go as people got on and off. It was quiet and enjoyable, just holding his hand and leaning on his arm, smelling the scent of cotton candy and popcorn on his shirt... Once it was their turn to get on she had covered his eyes until they were at the top so he got the full impact of the fair at night, hearing his words, softly breathed as his eyes took it all in around him... And she? She just watched him... He was more beautiful than anything she'd ever see in this world or any other. Reaching for his cheeks she held him close, speaking her heart to him in those moments, wanting him to know how she felt. Leave it to her Jacob though to know just what to say and how to make her melt. "I'm always going to love you Jacob, no matter what, and I always will. Forever." She said as they moved in to kiss, so saccharine and ethereal, the whole world stopped spinning and they were embraced in a warm golden bubble just for them... His jacket was so soft on her shoulders, warm and sheltering like his arms, the heated press of his lips over hers... Nothing rushed, no demand, no give or take but a meeting of hearts... Love and adoration... She didn't even notice the ride had continued to move on for a few more rounds before it stopped completely and it was time for them to give up their cozy seat, heading out of the fair after a long day of fun within it's embrace, towards the stables where their horses had been well cared for in their absence. She was a little shocked but happily pleased to ride with him in the front of his saddle, curled up into his arms was her favorite place to be, her head over his heart as the slow swaying of the horses smooth gait lulled her into something like a dreamy haze.

They got back a bit almost too soon for her liking, she would and could have ridden with him like that forever but it wouldn't be terribly fair to the sweet horse, let alone their asses. So instead they would turn into the property and she'd happily accept his help down, her legs a bit numb as she stretched, everything just felt so good... She was rocking onto her toes to get the blood flowing through her legs when he mentioned the idea of settling into the library and she couldn't help the soft laugh. "Rogue, talking such sweet dirty things to me, you had me at tea." She said with a wink as she'd follow along beside him, heading into the library and commandeering some of the help along the way, and with their assistance? By the time Jacob was coming in with the tea and almond cakes in the middle of the library in front of the fireplace was a blanket fort complete with little paper flag taped to a ruler sticking out of the top with the initials J and R. When he approached she'd hold the flaps closed and refuse to let him in. "What's the Password?" She'd ask and they'd go back and forth a few times before she'd just give up because at that point she was laughing too hard and she'd bring him in, showing him the soft and terrifically inviting space she had made, including extra pillows and blankets and some of their favorite books. His? Well of course the latest and greatest medical journals to come out this year, and hers, well of course some ultra cliche romance novel that was her worst guilty type pleasure. She'd curl up into his side once they were comfortably, boots off before the fireplace as she read in his arms, her head starting to dip more than once before the book just slid from her fingers and her head had fallen over his arm with her mouth slightly agape... Snoring very softly and absolutely dead to the world.



pillow fort

[BadInfluence]

"It's alright Princess, I'm here, don't try to move too much yet..." He said quietly. He was proper fucked up himself, he was still bruised up from the fight but the cuts were not as bad and his nose wasn't broken anymore, between Gia, Rose and Thaylan he had been set to rights. He had left that room a small time ago, Thaylan had been talking to him for the better part of a half hour and if he didn't feel like the lowest slime in the deepest recesses of the most vile creature ever imagined in Nurgles nightmares well... He felt pretty fucking close.It was too easy for him to think he knew everything given what he had taught himself and how well he could keep up with the extremely well educated... But emotionally? Fuck emotionally he was a gods damned retard with brain damage. He had NO idea how badly he had screwed up and hurt Gia until she was already gone and Thaylan had explained things to him in a way that was impossible to miss... Could he make up for this? No... NO what he had done? Was like what Sydel had done to him with Chris... No... No worse... Chris had used Sydel for his own kinks and fun but he... He had come to Gia in innocence, wanting only to experience something but it had gone much too far, and he? Hadn't even tried to stop it. No he had been an idiot and chased it down without realizing in doing so he was burning bridges left and right and these? He might never be able to repair.

When he had realized what he had done he had headed down to the medical wing to spend time with Sydel, sending Diovan off to eat and get some sleep, they had... A LOT of talking to do when the time came. A lot... Fuck he was not looking forward to any of this though, but it had all caught up to him at last, all the mistakes of his past and present had found him and each took their pound of flesh... "It's alright sweetheart hold on... Let me find a light..." He'd said, fumbling a bit on the nightstand before he'd find the oil lamp and flared it into light, illuminating the room around them in a soft glow. "What is it baby? You thirsty? What can I get you?" He'd ask, catching her hand and looking up at her and that was when the shock registered on his face, the fact that she now had pupils... Irises... She was no longer just a white void but... More... Even her hair had color, lavender at the roots, and it was much thicker and lusher than before. He shut his reaction down a second later and nodded his head a bit. "Just the drugs baby girl. Let me get a nurse in here to take it down for you, Rose and Jacob are in bed I think, just the skeleton staff right now." He'd say as he got up to find a nurse for her, bringing him in so he could start to undo a majority of the bags of blood and drugs, leaving her on just the saline and a small bit of pain killer just in case she hurt.

He'd shift a bit higher onto the bed then, reaching out to gently stroke his fingers through her hair, shocked a the change... She was warm and she smelled different, like flowers and growing things, less... Less like the winter he was always familiar with... He'd get a glass of water and hand it to her, helping her hold it if she needed, figuring she might be extremely thirsty if anything.

[BadInfluence]

He knew his sweet love needed a bit of time to... Process... And he knew why she needed to do it in silence too. He and anyone else she didn't chose would simply be background noise, irritating chatter that would keep her from being able to focus and process what she needed to get through, and while he hated her going through this? He knew well that sometimes pain comes even when we do not invite it nor open the door. So, while she went to handle her own sorrows, he stayed to watch over the cause of it, waiting for him to wake up because once he did? There was much to be said and perhaps not very much time in which to do it... As such though when he did? He handled it... Tactfully... Carefully... Nautilous was still in Gia's heart and in his as well, and while they might never cross paths again as they might have been, there was no way they might never cross paths at all. He had a feeling things were far more... Intrinsically involved and twisted than what it started out as... The threads had been met up, knotted together and what ever tapestry came from it, he knew there was no way to cut out all the colors now... No... It was there... But the dryder who weaves was not yet done with the picture... No... This was just the start...





Nautilous: -slowly awakens- Where's Gia?



Thaylan: She felt it was best to leave and not return.



Nautilous: Not return? Why?



Thaylan: Because of the choice you made my love.



Nautilous: What do you mean? I don't understand? What choice?



Thaylan: ... Nautilous... While you are incredibly smart in the ways of knowledge and war, even in creating alliances among countries... You are absolute shit in romance.



Nautilous: Wh-... Wait, what? Where is this coming from? Thaylan you're speaking in circles.



Thaylan: I know. Confusing isn't it?



Nautilous: Insanely so and completely irritating.



Thaylan: Then you have, in a much smaller measure, a bit of the feeling of how my sister is at the moment.



Nautilous: Gia is annoyed at you talking in circles?



Thaylan: Oh dear... Ok... Let me explain a bit more in depth... You've been... Deeply damaged by the women in your past and present, you've never really had love in a healthy, emotionally supportive environment...



Nautilous: Yeah, that's true, but what does that have to do with Gia being gone or you talking in circles Thaylan?



Thaylan: Pax, give me a moment and it will all make sense, the less you interrupt the better it will flow. Be the river Nautilous, not the dam.



Nautilous: ... Alright... Speak on.



Thaylan: Thank you... You don't realize it but your actions last night compared to what they were this morning were so counter intuitive, so rife with oxymorons that I don't think you realized what you did... Not last night, not this morning, and likely not even now. Last night you stole my sisters heart, she fell for you and the poor broken man you are, she wanted nothing more than to love you and help you find yourself... She offered you all and asked for nothing... And in those moments you offered yourself to her and your whole world. You bit her, left her the mark of the Dragons Bride, offered to help her in her world and her territory as she seeks to become a Matron once again... But this morning? You asked for time to make things work with Sydel...



Nautilous: Because Sydel almost died- I couldn't in good conscience leave her like that, broken without me there to be with her, to let her know it was ok...



Thaylan: True... But what you tried to spare Sydel from you enacted full force on my sister. You broke her heart, you promised her the world and then served her up a paper plate full of refuse, you made her into a fool...



Nautilous: No! I would never hurt Gia! Dammit I love her!



Thaylan: No...No you don't not in the way you can love someone Nautilous, not in the way you should. The fact is that... While the heart can love more than one person at the same time, that same heart could never put someone they loved lower on the scale than the other, if you can do that? Then you don't really love the other person... When you asked, when you changed your mind, changed your choice? You basically told Gia your word? Was dirt. Trash. Offal on her boot... She can not trust you, and if she can not trust you, then she must force herself to stop loving you.



Nautilous: No... No! How?! Why?! I-... I-... I never meant to make her feel that way, I just tried to do what was right, to try and-



Thaylan: Keep everyone happy?



Nautilous: Yes.



Thaylan: You can't. It's physically impossible, even the Gods cant keep everyone happy, not even the Chaos gods have the power to do that even if it was what they wished. In trying to do the impossible you lost Gia and anything you might have had with her.



Nautilous: No... Please, Thaylan, tell me that's not the case?



Thaylan: I can't. I do not lie unless absolutely necessary. The fact is Nautilous is that you are very much a child, a juvenile in the ways of the heart, of romance and love and all that is good between lovers. You might know every pleasured point of the body, you know nothing, nothing at all about the fragile hearts that beat beneath...



Nautilous: I didn't know...



Thaylan: I know that, and that is why I forgive you, unlike my sister I was not raised to exist in a role where I must always be strong and cull the weak from my flock and from myself. A Queen may lean on her King but a Matron leans on no one. She is strong, the very earth that shelters her people, the ground which they walk and the caverns which shade them from the sun. She is everything and must be the ideal, if she is not, she can not rule and her people will not trust her. To love a Matron... To love my sister? You must understand this about her... Her complete and utter resolution to put her people first, even at the cost of herself, her heart and her soul she will do all she can for her people to thrive. A Matron? Is the mother of her people, she must be strict, disciplined but where there is need? She is there to hold them together, offer love and support, compassion and security.



Nautilous: What can I do?... What can I do to win her back Thaylan? I love her... I love her and everything about her...



Thaylan: I do not know if you can Nautilous but... If such a thing may come about? Then the first thing you must do? Is figure out who YOU are. If you love her then you must sever these ties about you that tie you to others... You would have to understand that you would and could not be the pillar for your family anymore. You would have to give it up, let them sink or swim on their own for once, and you? Would have to dedicate all that you are to Gia, to her people, to the lifestyle. That means too... Saying Goodbye to Sydel forever, allowing her to live her own life without you trying to make up for the sins of that past you share, to be happy with your brother or even without if that is what is best for her.



Nautilous: Give up my family? But... They're the only things that matter to me.



Thaylan: Then you can never have Gia. You can not have both worlds Nautilous. You must make a choice. You can either stay here, continue to allow yourself to be washed out, to stay on that same loop which you hung yourself from when Gia saved you... Or you can change, you can make the choice to cut that rope which hangs you, to move forward rather than stay stagnant and rotting.



Nautilous: ... Is there really no other way?



Thaylan: No. Love is Absolute Nautilous. Love requires conviction, dedication, devotion... You can not plant love willy nilly and expect it to bear fruits, you only sow chaos and discord, reaping only sorrow for the efforts. Love is a single flower you must nurture, dedicate your time and efforts towards, shelter and protect it from any that might wish to destroy it... Right now Nautilous... You can only destroy love... You do not have the mentality or the strength to actually truly love someone. Not yet... But I sincerely wish for you my love, that one day you do, that you find the understand that has eluded you and made you miserable for so long...



Nautilous: ... I honestly... Don't know what to say to that but... I can read between some of those lines and know that it's time I stepped away... Thank you for taking the time to talk to me Thaylan... Will you... Would you please keep me up to date on Gia? And... If there is a child?



Thaylan: Of course, my Broken Prince, I will pen you often... But please... Do go. You have much growing to do, wisdom to find, knowledge to seek inside yourself and you can not do it with people to lean upon like a crutch... Sweet dreams when they find you... I will be gone come morning.






Once that was said and Nautilous had left the room he collapsed into the softest chair in the room, his legs were starting to hurt him dreadfully and Gia had taken all the medication back with him, what was left had been already used up and turned into other drugs that would have a very long shelf life... Not that he held it against anybody, it had helped the process of birth and death become painless and in his mind, there was no better use for it. He had taken up his mask and was making his reports, having a very in depth conversation with Chegorache, the entire new development was something unforeseen... Unexpected... As such alterations needed to be made, things had to be put into place, fails safes and blocks... Domino's rearranged...



It was just as he was powering the mask down that he heard the knock and the very soft voice on the other side of the door, his head tilting to the side a bit but oh his smile just lit up, causing him to sit up a bit straighter in his chair... Putting his clothes into neater lines, making sure his hair was neat, after all this was his daughter coming in. He'd settle once he was sure he was neat enough for her presence before he'd call out to her to come in, moving a chair closer to the dark for her, knowing her eyes were much like her mothers... Bright fires and the like would hurt her eyes and he kept her well-being in mind. "What brings the most beautiful drowess next to Matron Gia herself to such humber landings as the surface? You honor me and I fear I have nothing on hand which to serve you outside of roasted crickets and deaths head wine... I do hope this will suffice for such a skilled Priestess of the Navare household?" He asked with a smile, deferring and kind as always, his smile was warm and his eyes even warmer... He just had this very calming presence about him as he wondered what could have brought her to his doorstep so to speak. "All is well with Matron Navare I hope?" Gia hadn't been gone long at all but... He would always worry a little about her, always.

[Deleted]

If he thought back over his life thus far.. all of it.. the highs and the lows.. would any of it truly compete with this night?.. no, all of it.. the surprises.. the feel of the sunlight and the cool sea breeze.. the people.. the children.. and of course her.. she was his starlight..his reason to smile.. when everything else in the world was failing.. or crumbling.. she was his constant.. they had arrived back at the estate.. drawing that Horse into the ground as he helped her down.. the help took the magnificent beast back to the stables.. he made the offer.. of tea and perhaps a little light evening supper.. but to share it like old times in the library before the fire place.. her comment on him being roguish had him laughing as they wandered in through the quiet dimly lit halls.. separating a moment.. he collected two pots of tea.. one his choice.. and another something a bit more herbal..something with fruit.. it would settle the mixture of foods in her belly which might not cause her issues now.. but come morning it might be something else entirely.. a saucer with a couple of slices of almond cake and he returned to the candle lit library.. Ah.. surprise registered upon his features as he closed the door behind him..-.. You have been incredibly busy.. -he smiled.. making his way closer toward her as she held it all closed and asked for the password..

he rubbed his chin thoughtfully -.. hmm.. a password.. -he rattled off a few random words.. like.. lavender.. or angel.. maybe it was Arvandor.. or sweetheart.. but no.. the two of them ended up in a fit of laughter as it just started getting silly.. she relented and let him through-.. Why thankyou my lady.. you do humble me.. -he grinned as he slid through with that tray in his hand.. settling in beside her.. -.. Well now this is very very nice.. -he noticed the book choices.. -.. be still my heart.. she knows what he likes.. -he shot her a wink as he moved around a bit to remove her boots.. sliding them off her feet.. before he would do the same for himself.. tea was shared in companionable silence.. he jabbed her a little about her book choice though.. little digs about the long haired fabio looking gentleman on the cover.. asking things like.. had the woman tripped over yet?.. broken a heel?.. had he rescued her?.. his smile was broad as he laughed softly.. the night wore on.. she rested close.. there in his arms.. he caressed her side softly.. watching as she began to fail.. to falter.. managing to catch the book.. placing it to the side as he pressed a kiss to her forehead-.. Sweet dreams angel.. -he'd whisper.. shifting her just a little so she wouldn't wake up completely stiff.. before he would snuff out those candles.. the lanterns.. just the soft glow of the fire remained and he rested close by her.. his hand atop her own.. this was perfect.. utterly and completely.. and there was no place else he'd rather be-

[Deleted]

she had woken without much warning.. there was no bells or whistles going off.. the machines remained at their soft hum and beat.. she had changed physically.. to those who knew her closely it would be quite a lot indeed.. the hair.. the eyes..a softer complexion.. freckles and a warmth where the stark chill of winter once reigned supreme.. his voice cut through her.. even though he was being soft and quiet.. she blinked again.. more than a few times.. the room was so dimly lit she was having trouble registered just where the voice was coming from -.. Nautilous?.. -she questioned.. surely she wasn't blind right?.. she kept blinking.. it didn't seem to be helping until light flared into view and she squinted.. almost wincing.. she whined a little.. blinking a few more times.. it was still god damn blurry.. she could make out shapes now though.. so.. not blind.. that was a good start.. tilting her head toward him now.. her brows drew inward..-.. mm.. water.. please.. or.. something.. -she swallowed again.. a few times.. it was dry.. incredibly dry .-.. feels like someones been sanding the inside of my throat.. -she whined as her head rolled back.. her lids closed over.. -.. I cant see very well.. it's.. getting better.. but.. still.. blury.. -it would be then that she would realise her legs werent moving.. or more that she couldn't move them at all.. a little bit of panic started to set in.. before he settled her.. it was just the drugs.. she nodded a little.. it made sense.. her brain was foggy.. it wasn't letting her put a lot of things together straight away.. the Nurse appeared.. or.. the shape of one.. she twitched whenever the needles were removed.. the machines were quietened.. drawn back and out of the way.. just the saline.. and the right amount of pain killers to keep her floating above that line of pain if there was any there..

she shifted a little.. feeling odd.. the table wasn't very comfortable.. but she just felt odd in her own skin.. she felt his fingers stroking through her hair.. she just took a moment there.. to let silence fall.. and settle.. just the sounds of their shared breathing.. she reached for the glass of water.. though her range was way off.. it took her a moment to adjust he'd feel her warm fingers against the outside of his as she took a drink of that cool water.. just a little at first.. then a little more.. whilst she was thirsty.. it also hurt a bit to swallow-. Thankyou.. thats a bit better.. -she blinked a few more times.. trying to focus-.. where is everyone.. it's so quiet.. -she understood that Jacob and Rose were sleeping.. well deserved.. well earnt of that she was certain.. and that took her down a secondary line of thought-.. tell me.. Nautilous.. did she make it?.. -she was referring to their child.. her hands shifted a little as they came to rest over the flat of her stomach.. she had a feeling she already knew the answer.. but.. she needed to be told.. needed someone to fill her in on what happened.. -.. please fill me in on what happened.. I ..I just dont remember.. any of it..-she exhaled.. -

[Deleted]

-she waited patiently out in the corridor.. her hands sliding down into the pockets of her piwafwi.. it was an interesting home.. this one.. vast in size.. was it noble perhaps?.. it would make sense.. though she was unsure on who owned it.. he called her to enter and she reached for the handle.. making her way inside.. placing her bag down nearer to the door as she let it close softly behind her.. she would reach up to remove her hood.. her head tilting to the side there as she smiled at his kind words.. -.. I know right.. clearly Im slumming it.. -she shot him a wink as she laughed a little.. making her way over to the chair he had prepared for her.. sinking down into it.. -.. I dont need for much Thaylan.. do not worry yourself over offerings.. really.. I assure you.. all is ok.. -her hands came down to rest there upon her lap.. fingers interlaced- All is well with Mother.. she is just .. rather rattled and in need of distraction..I have sent her on to Silverthorn to broach the trade agreements with Adelaide that were interrupted when all the drama occured there.. .. we spoke at length.. about a lot of things.. I understand why she has not returned.. which is why I offered to come in her place.. to collect you.. and there is something I need to discuss with Rose.. -she nodded a little.. taking a breath-.. I dont know.. I have been practically at her side from birth.. and whilst I dont remember a lot of my early childhood.. I can say without doubt that I have not seen her quite this.. lost.. before.. so I was a little stunned.. for lack of a better word.. and unsure on how to help her.. but ..as we talked.. she relaxed.. -she paused-.. Oh.. which reminds me..

-she moved out of that chair as she collected her bag once more.. sliding a small velvet pouch into his fingers.. it was a few more tablets from Gia.. -.. The last thing either of us desire is to see you uncomfortable.. or in pain.. -she patted his hand as she sunk back down into her seat-.. whilst I learnt about this.. Nautilous.. -she waved her hand a little-.. I also learnt..something that I found to be much more intriguing.. I was originally of the thought that you carry our family name because you were my uncle.. which wasn't wrong.. You are indeed the only surviving Uncle I have.. the only male elder sibling left.. -she tilted her head to the side.. that blue tinged hair shifted-.. When I saw you both.. in that suite at Silverthorn.. and Mother looked.. happier than I think I have seen her..she was contented.. relaxed in your presence.. it warmed my heart.. I dont care that you are blood related.. it's not my place to judge.. Id do anything.. Anything to give my Mother an ounce of the happiness in life that she has made sure I have experienced so far.. You have my blessing to Marry my Mother Thaylan.. -she would reach across to tap her hand against his-.. It will bring us all a lot closer.. though.. -she would pause.. that soft garnet gaze would lift to look to him there-.. We are already ..pretty close arent we..Ilharn? (Father) -her gaze would search his features.. to gage his reaction.. she knew.. she knew he was her Father.. -

[BadInfluence]

She was so much like her mother, he wondered if she were aware of it, just how attuned they were to one another. Much more like sisters than a mother and daughter but his beloved was ageing like gold, just gaining more and more value as the years turned, beautiful as she was and ever would be to him. "Oh without a doubt, right on down in the gutters I am afraid, your skirts will never be clean again." He said with a warm smile and laughing eyes, he was very calm but he had a sense of fun about him too, even given the conversation he had earlier which was as heavy as the world he found time to smile... To enjoy life and the people in it. "I am glad that you do not mind because there are many a Priestess who would use Khaless or Orbb'sty Ssrin if I dared offer less than the finest of delicacies." [/b] And it was true. Priestess were literally just ONE step below the Matron, even higher than her own children and as such they were NOT one to mess about with lightly... If at all. It was curious to hear that his sweet sister was heading over to Silverthorn to broker the agreements but with a certain marriage having been called off the trade agreements brokered under such were also now null and void... Which meant that they had to be renegotiated... It would do well to keep his sister very busy, very much occupied in mind and body, perhaps just what she needed to allow her to build up a bit of a wall around her heart... But he... Did not think it would be enough and depending on how things went... It might be pointless but... He was not going to say anything on that point. The cards were still held in hand and not yet laid out on the table, as such it might still yet be anyone's game, he was simply there to... Observe...


"Love is a very complicated creature, very much like a spider in how it may take up a spot in one's heart without us even realizing it is there, weaving it's web in chambers and valves until we can not have it beat without feeling the silken threads... And sadly, sometimes that spider is not very nice, sometimes the spider can be a parasite, hurting and poisoning us... I fear your mother's latest spider has left a bit of wreckage as it has taken up it's home inside her own heart but... I perhaps hold out some faith that, once it is aware of the pain it causes, it might yet become a better resident..." He wanted Gia to be happy and he knew no matter what she tried Nautilous would always be there in her heart, and if there was a child born from their union, she would nor could ever manage to push him out completely. The two of them were so well matched, mind and body they were like a glove to each other, the only issue was that Nautilous was so very young and broken inside he did not realize that he was shredding the glove with glass and nails... After their talk though he hoped... Given some time to pass, decisions to be made and actions performed that they all might find each other again, to be together once more. After all, his sisters heart was not the only one involved, and as such things were always going to be a little messy therein. "Rose is a very amicable young woman and quite enjoyable company. I have heard the two of you are companions of a sort?" He asked gently, wanting to keep the conversation a little on the lighter sides, as it stood it was quite heavy. "I have packed my things and am ready to depart as soon as you need me to. I would very much like to return to my duties." And those were what ever Gia needed him to do.

The offered pain medication was taken with a very grateful smile as he took it under the cover of his hand, respectful as ever because even though this was his daughter? She did not know of that yet and he would treat her with all the respect due her rank and position. He made sure to pour her a glass of wine as she settled in and spoke, a brow rising as she filled him on what her mother had been going through, the part about Nautilous... "Oh dear... I can see that it has left you wanting as well... He is not a bad man Anya just a very lost, very broken one, and sometimes... Sometimes the ships we see at sea are foundering much more than we realize and... At times... It can be too late to take back our ties used to save the other ship... Sometimes... Sometimes we must be pulled down before we can resurface... Or... If we are truly blessed.. The other ship begins to bale itself out and can find the strength to limp to port alongside our own..." It would never be easy, nothing about life was meant to be, but he did hope with all his heart that the young man realized his ship was going down and to bail out his hull, lighten his load and patch the many holes and cracks in his belly or they would all suffer for it.

As Anya spoke on though he couldn't help the bit of shock that showed on his face when she admitted she knew he and Gia were related, his hand coming to cover hers over the back of his as she tapped it, that pause... Like her mother he knew she was measuring her words before she'd speak. Once she did though? There was a drop in his shoulders, one of relief as a very warm, soft and happy smile crossed his features as he looked at her. "I hope you will not hold it against me Anya, for not being there for you as you grew, though I swear on all that is Drow that I would have given anything to be there for you." And he would have... If Valkryn hadn't been watching so close, if their cover could have held, he would have stayed but the waters... They were too hot, he knew he either had to leave or he and Gia would have been boiled alive in the same pot of oil, no mercy shown and poor Anya... Would have been murdered in her crib... He had a feeling though that Anya was well aware of the taboo and the risks that would have come with him staying, the reasons he left were all justified, to save the life of Gia and their baby girl... "While you say that your mother and I being related does not bother you... Does it bother you knowing I am your father, Anya? For as we move forward into the new territory and establishing our family, I will not claim the Navare name, not as a blood born noble. I will take another name instead so that I might be able to marry your mother at long last and be her Consort." If she did have a problem he was not sure how he might fix it but he would at least try, perhaps they might find a middle ground, something akin to a truce if that were the case...

He'd reach out then and gently touch the side of her cheek with almost a sad smile on his lips. "Dos phuul mzild ssin'urn taga jala wussrun'wa, Anya..." You are more beautiful than any dream, Anya He said gently before he'd stand, much more steady on his feet than a little while ago, the pain medication doing wonders to allow him more movement without feeling twinges and stabs. Once he was up he would bring over a low foot stool and place it by her chair for him to sit on, knowing better than to push his body in this state, and would take her in his arms for one of those perfect hugs... The kind that make the world feel right and like all the broken parts fit together that much closer than before. "When your mother told me we had created you I was overjoyed... I wanted nothing more than to be the perfect husband for her, to support her and love her, to rub her feet and fetch her any food she desired... Valkiryn had been watching us for some time though and he was getting far too close so I had to leave to save my family... But nothing can stop us now and I hope you will allow me the honor of trying my very best to be a father to you, even at this somewhat later stage in life than we might have hoped for at first..."

[BadInfluence]

"The one and only sweetheart." He said at her question and no, she wasn't blind, the place was just blacker than the inside of a mole's ass. He went to find the lamp, to strike the match and let it slowly flare to life, illuminating the room in a soft golden glow. He hearts the sounds the whimpers but that was just the fact she was probably seeing light for the first time, and like a newborn it's terrifically bright, painful and perhaps even intimidating right now. He had asked her what she needed at at her request he got up and got her water, something nice and cold, just a small drop of honey in it to soothe those jagged cords and raw linings. "I'm sorry to hear that... You flat lined on the table and they had to give you a lot of drugs, a lot of new types of medication to bring you back, so this might be some of those side effects..." It was the best he could do at that moment, a lot of what had happened and after was lost to him as he had been tossed into a nasty fight with Diovan then had fucked up again with Gia before falling into revere and spending some time down in that fucking hell, oh the whole gods damned thing was a fucking mess... For both of them. "Don't rush yourself... It takes time, just be patient, let it come as slow as it needs..." If she rushed she might strain herself and it would be worse for it. He had gotten a nurse then to take care of her, drawing out the needles and he noticed the twitches, the sudden ability to... Feel...? Or perhaps just express sensations? But either way it was new though he wouldn't say anything, he just sat beside her silently, watching the differences... All the insane changes that to him were like neon on a black chalk board backing... The machines were turned off one by one except for the EKG which was left on though the volume was turned down quite a bit, a very soft beep easily lost in the sounds of their breathing as he helped her line up with the glass, making sure she could drink without wearing the cup...

Her question was legitimate and he'd nod his head gently before he'd start to speak. "Sybelle's in the other room, waiting for transport to Arvandor where she will be entombed at Hanali's temple, they're going through the preparations for it now..." He'd paid above and beyond to make sure she got the best of the best, called in multiple favors, ensuring that she would have a coffin of the greatest beauty and a spot where the sun always shone and was full of flowers and butterflies... "Garafin and Taru are in their own room with their baby girl... Nurses told me her name is Sylwyn... In honor of you and Sybelle." Something he thought was an incredibly beautiful touching gesture and a beautiful name for a beautiful little girl. "Rose and Jacob are sleeping right now but they'll be down in the morning I am sure... Gia left several hours ago, Thaylan will be leaving soon as well, along with the slaves and household staff of the Navere name." Could he dare tell her what had happened? Right now? Or would he push it off? Try to find that ever elusive perfect moment?

"No... No she didn't... She died the day before while still in the womb..." There was no life to save during the operation. "Diovan's son had died at the same time..." And his heart broke for his brother on that point... Diovan had never lost a child before, not like that, and he could understand the raw agony and pain that came with it... He and Sydel... Had lost a handful of children together under the best of circumstances... "From what I had seen on the other side... The umbilical cords had gotten knotted in the womb so there wasn't enough blood and oxygen to the others, it wasn't anything anyone did or did not do, sometimes that just happens..." Or so Rose had explained and he would run with that. He didn't think there was any way for anything like that to have been changed or avoided. Sometimes shit just happens and you can't change it... You just have to embrace it and move on. He paused... Taking a long breath and he could feel himself starting to shake, his stomach in knots, bile in his throat...

"While you were with Diovan... I went to find Gia and extend an olive branch between us given what I had done to her home and her people... I wanted to... Make up for what happened... But I really... I really wasn't prepared for her." For that quick, warm witt, the brilliant and well educated mind... How warm she felt in his arms... The way she tasted of wine and smelled like spice and licorice... The soft velvet of her tongue... His head dropped to the side of her bed there, feeling the cold steel against his forehead and wishing he could have that sort of strength, that resolve to holding to ones shape and purpose... "We talked and on a whim I asked to kiss her... I wanted to see what it was all about, what you loved about her, and when our lips touched it all spiraled..." She said she wanted to know what happened, and he knew she didn't mean this but if he was going to hang... He'd hang... Learn himself? Figure out who he was? Change the path he was on? It was a huge fucking order and he might not even be able to do it... Even if he did? He might not even be able to see her ever again anyways... "I was broken down at this point, I felt like I was failing at everything, at being a husband or a father... Everything... And I asked her what it meant to be made love to... The real emotion, not the thing we played at for so many years, the soft velvet covering the poisoned dagger we always wield with each other..." He felt sick... He was going to throw up... He couldn't do it anymore but he had to... He fucking had to.

"So... She showed me and I fell in love with her like a comet shooting through the sky... It was brilliant and hot and I couldn't control it... For the first time in my life my emotions controlled me... And I think... I... I'm pretty positive... I got her pregnant last night..." He knew what he had felt, both emotionally and while making love to Gia, he knew he had wanted to be with her and in his mind... The only way to ensure she could never leave him fully was to get her pregnant... That small life would be something that tied them together, forever, something she could not escape nor could he... "I'm telling you now because it's... Just a good moment for bad news I guess... I could have hidden and lied about it but the amount of good it would do is jack the fuck all..." Lying about it would only make it worse when it did come out and if he wanted to change his life one way or the other? Then he needed to stop fucking being a gods damned bystander in his own life and start taking control, standing up for himself and no longer just being the families bedrock, he needed to assert his own voice in his future and that meant change... Change and a lot of it. "Now that you know... I need to know if you think this is something you can move on from... If you think this is something you can forgive me for and we can try to be... Good for each other. Like... Really, truly, healthy and positive for one another in our marriage." He said, reaching out for her hand to hold it, his palm up and open for her to rest her hand in his... If she wished it.

"I need to know if you can love me... Really love me, flaws and all, my fuck ups and the fact that I am broken beyond all real repair... The man I was and the man I might have been don't exist anymore, I'm fucked up and there's no salvaging myself, not anymore..." From there out?... This was something they'd have to face together... If she said she couldn't? Then he'd stay until she was better, until she was on her feet and she and Diovan were better established, and he? Would go find Gia and try for the rest of his days to earn back that love she had once so freely given...

[BadInfluence]

"Like a little bee, always!" She said with a small laugh of her own. She just... She just was. She was learning to be a bit more laid back, a little lazy, to take time for herself. It was hard work but she knew she needed it, and if she wanted Jacob to do the same, well she had to REALLY get good at it. He'd come up with those cakes and tea and she wouldn't let him in, playing at the Password game as he rattled off different things, her favorite foods or colors... Books and the like but in the end? He got them all wrong and they were both laughing just a bit too hard to care much at all at that point. When she let him in though? "The password was Fabio, but I would have consented to either the words 'broken heel' or 'swoon'." She teased laughingly before they'd settle in together, tea and books for one another that were right up the most wanted isle so to speak, gently poking at his ribs with her finger as he teased her and oh how she loved it. "Mmm if I don't know what you like to read right now then I need to be drawn and quartered for egregious failure on my part!" Curled into her arms they'd read, finishing off their teas and almost all those little cakes but as the night wore on and she was so very warm, so safe... His questions had her giggling softly as she'd shake her head, explaining all that stuff didn't start till a quarter of the book, but once there? She'd explain what had happened before she'd read on, blushing a bit as some of the more errotic scenes were written out on the page... Before too long though? The gentle crackle of the fireplace and the sound of his heart under her ear... The gentle whisk and crinkle as a page was turned... The book in her hand began to droop as her head began to fall backwards over his arm a bit... A little more... A little more till she was completely out, snoring softly as he gently moved her about, keeping her from feeling like a corpse come morning in full rig set...

She'd sleep like that for hours and hours, for the first time in her life she didn't even twitch while she slept, just such a sweet black and restful void that you get after you've really and completely exhausted yourself. Of course for her, well her dreams were errotic, something she might in due time come to realize as a pattern for her... Back down into the Palace of pleasure she went, greeted and treated with all due reverence as the lover and child of the Prince of Pleasure himself, taking her seat upon the throne at his side before it would all begin again... Her father would mount and breed her, getting more Daemoness on her petite frame before she'd deliver a newborn, each one taken from her arms shortly after by a high ranking Daemonette... She was replenishing the ranks for her father, giving birth to Fiends and Seekers, Heralds and Daemon Princes... This was going to become a normal thing for her though once waking she'd not know any of it, and while it all went on, well it helped her waking self be far more... Collected... Comfortable... Content.

When she woke up she felt recharged, revitalized and warm, curled up in his arms while he still slept blissfully on. She'd quietly slip from his arms, writing a quick note for him that she had gotten up to spoil him, to take his time and find her in the kitchen when he was ready. She was making her way into the kitchen when she passed the main hall and saw the letter on the table, picking it up as it was addressed to her, the Navere seal on the back with wax. How curious! She wondered to herself as she flipped it open to read the contents, smiling the moment she saw it was from Anya. "Ah you little sneak!" She said softly to herself as she made her way towards the kitchen, a smile on her face as she figured she was likely with Thaylan, Gia having left in the night from what the staff had told her. Anya was likely sleeping though, or getting ready to go to bed and she wasn't about to wake her friend up, she'd let her rest of course before she'd go to bother her. "I wonder what sort of proposition she is wondering about... How very curious!" And indeed it was because she couldn't begin to imagine what sort of thing Anya might need from her. She'd go to the desk in the hall and pen a quick reply to Anya to be slipped under her door for her to read when she woke up...

"My Sweet Friend!
I am always more than happy to talk with you and this new proposition sounds very curious indeed! As we are good friends I hope you will take up as much of my time as you need, for what is a few hours between friends? Please do let me know what you might like to eat and we shall have a luncheon of sorts together, or which ever time suits your fancy, just let me know.

Ever Your Companion,
Rose Ganeth."

She'd make sure it got delivered to the right suite before she'd finish up and go into the kitchen, washing her hands and putting an apron on, not caring that she was barefoot on a stool wearing the same clothes from yesterday. Big deal! She wasn't dirty she just... Smelled like the fair, that's all. She'd start off with some hot cross buns for Jacob, making the dough before rolling and forming it, putting it on a pan and popping them in the oven to bake. She knew with all the rich food from yesterday that a heavy breakfast would just about kill them both so she went for something much lighter, a fruit salad with just a touch of clotted cream on top and a light drizzle of honey and some very light green tea to go with it all. Nothing heavy or black today, just soft tastes and scents, things that would sit easy on the tummy. As she worked she pondered things, dicing up the fruit and keeping an eye on the creme as it was cooked over a low fire till the clots began to form and the milk began to steam, a bit of a dreamy smile on her face. If she got pregnant this cycle then they might have a baby very close to the same time as Jacob's birthday... But if they waited and planned it out till she was done with school it might be closer to a fall baby which would be good but a bit of a busy time as everyone tended to get hurt during the harvest and children all caught their late season allergies and head colds...

"Hmmm... Lyon.... Lyon for a little boy... But do we want a middle name?... Maybe something family related? Lyon di- No... No... Anything with Diovan's name in it is going to sound utterly cliche and Nautilous is a mouthful for an adult forget a child... Maybe... Joshua Lyon Aranose?... Hmmm..." She said quietly as she took the cream off the heat and would let it start to cool in a bucket of ice to help the clots form more and stabilize, tapping her chin as she leaned over the table on her booster stool, looking at the fruit before her all nice and neatly cut in their bowls over ice so they'd be nice and chilled against the heat of the late summer day. "But... Maybe I might want to name him Jacob and we'll just call him Jr for short?... Especially if he wants to become a doctor like his daddy... But no... I just don't see our baby as a Jacob..." It was a fun, harmless thing to muse over the morning as she prepared breakfast and waited for Jacob to wander in, her hand dropping down... Was she pregnant? She could check but... She didn't want to know... Not just yet... She'd rather learn by some old fashioned means like Taru... How amazing was that? To only know you were pregnant by the very traditional methods such as a missed period.

The staff all began to leave the kitchen to tend to their own breakfasts before the day really started and once she was alone? She'd look to the left... Then the right... And when the coast was utterly clear? She'd slip out of the apron and ball it up, tying it around some towels and padding it a bit before she'd slip it up under her dress, tying it at the back before she'd find a well polished metal door to the refrigerated area of the house... Seeing her reflection clearly presented to her she'd turn to the side a bit, tilting her head this way and that as she held down the bottom of her tress so the ball was revealed, a slightly lumpy version of a pregnancy belly... "I'm so short though..." She sighed sadly as she tried to imagine herself a bit taller so that the round belly didn't look insanely oversized to her... Sybelle had been glowing and happily pregnant, it looked good on her but for herself, she just looked... Lumpy... "What if Jacob thinks I'm too bumpy to want to make love to afterwards? My body is going to change forever...My breasts will probably droop and my ankles are going to swell... I might even get fat..." She'd seen plenty of men who went to wandering to the whore house she used to live under because their wives had gotten pregnant and they didn't like their bodies while they were with child or the effects of giving birth on the body after. She didn't want to think of Jacob doing that but... Men were strange creatures... She did at least believe that he would always love her and... Well... If he did decide to stray afterwards she hope'd he'd at least let her pick them out for him, after all, he had needs just as anyone else did.

[Deleted]

she shifted a little there upon the cool bed, hearing she had flat lined surprised her.. she knew none of this.. she remembered absolutely nothing.. it was as if a huge chunk of her memory had been blacked out.. maybe over time it would come back to her.. but.. from the sounds of it the preference was for not.. she had died before.. that was not new.. but this time.. she felt different.. but in her mind she could easily put that down to all these drugs that were apparently pumped through her.. the blurry vision was bothering her though.. she'd blink.. just every now and then in hopes it would clear up.. but no.. not yet.. a quiet whisper of a chuckle sounded when he told her to be patient-.. Have we met?.. -she glanced up to him with a small flick of a smile.. he knew damn well patience was not something she did well with.. not at all.. she asked for the water.. he held it out for her and she used his hands as a guide.. taking small drinks from it.. the taste was kind of odd.. but her tongue felt kind of fuzzy anyway..

offering him thanks as she sunk back down ..her head upon the soft pillow.. she could see his silhouette.. his outline and every so often a little more would come into focus-.. are you injured?.. -she would question.. she might have caught a glimpse of a white bandage on his nose.. squinting her eyes a little as she tried to see better but it didn't help .. he told her about Belles.. and how she was being prepared to be entombed in Hanalis temple..-.. its quite an honour.. not many could ever dare to dream of being given such an option..-being entombed at Hanalis temple was.. huge.. it was a prestigious occasion.. only those that had reached certain ranks would be given the chance and even then.. it was by invitation only.. -.. please.. -she sighed-.. tell me you all got a chance to say goodbye.. I tried.. I really tried to hold on for as long as I could.. -her lower lip trembled a little before she reeled it in with a sudden breath.. she knew in those last moments she was not as strong as she should have been.. and it pained her to think that all those that loved her.. didn't get that chance.. the one they all deserved because she was selfish enough to stay up all night.. he spoke on Garafin and Taru .. -.. Sylwyn ..-she repeated quietly-.. it's very pretty.. Ill bet he is proud as punch.. Ill bet she's beautiful.. -he listed off the others.. Rose and Jacob resting.. her brows drew in when he mentioned Gia having already left-.. really?. I was hoping to talk to her.. to thank her.. -she exhaled-.. shame. ill have to catch up with her and Thaylan when they settle in.. they were to be married no?.. -she frowned-.. seems ive missed everything.. as usual..

-she huffed.. what he said next though caused that strong heart beat to dissolve into something a lot more shallow.. her light expression turned quite pained as her brows drew in.. her lips trembled.. though hearing Diovan lost his son.. that was when the dam broke and the tears just flowed down her cheeks.. she cried.. enough that her hands rose to cover her face as her breath caught haphazardly-.. Im so.. so sorry.. -she uttered between broken breaths-.. I tried.. I really.. really tried..-she shuddered- I genuinely wanted that baby with you.. and I still failed.. I am so sorry.. -she gripped at her forehead tightly.. that heart rate was picking up.. but going a little to fast.. she was becoming stressed..he explained the reasoning behind it.. the umbilical cords having been knotted.. that it was no ones fault.. but that didn't mean jack to her.. how many had she lost now?.. was there something wrong with her body? Jacob was a miracle.. Aysil...well .. her background was rife with violence.. why couldn't she just be normal... it just added a larger weight to that which was already on her shoulders-..Im sorry Nautilous.. from the bottom of my heart.. -she swallowed harshly ..silence fell between them for a moment.. her focus seemed to shift depending on what the lamp was doing.. so many thoughts were running through her head.. what could have she done differently?.. what did she do wrong?.. what had worked in the past and not this time?..she had tried hadn't she?.. she had really tried..his voice broke the silence though.. mentioning when she was with Diovan.. she shook her head a little-.. I wasn't.. not.. not really.. I was out.. doing some archery that Gia had set up for me.. he came out.. and we talked.. well.. he yelled a lot.. and i left him with Rose when he got sick.. -her brows furrowed.. she was trying to regain her composure.. her heart was aching.. -.. im sorry for interrupting.. go on.. -she rubbed her hands across her forehead.. blowing out a few breaths to try an get rid of that annoying little hiccup that happened after getting upset.. she listened he spoke about going and extending an olive branch to Gia.. for the mess the two of them had made to the Matrons home and people.. she nodded a little.. really unsure on where this was going.. and certainly not in the direction she could have expected..

she blinked though when he said they ha kissed.. -. oh Nautilous.. -she exhaled.. her voice little more than a broken whisper.. she knew it now.. she knew what he was about to say.. almost word for word.. she let her eyes close.. she fell silent when he talked about being so broken.. that he felt he was failing.. he desired love.. to make love.. something that he was of the opinion they had not experienced together.. her heart shattered when he told her he had fallen for Gia.. and the icing on the cake.. that he was pretty sure he had gotten her pregnant.. -.. No.. -she whined softly with her eyes clenched closed-.. Oh My god.. I.. -she hesitated as she started to get upset.. as the stress started to register once more on that ekg-.. I.. I knew it.. I tried so hard to keep you two apart.. -her voice was broken.. pitchy.. in some places it seemed to flick to a whisper as her throat restricted her voice-.. I tried.. I knew.. I cant compete with her.. I could never.. Ever compete with her.. I.. I gave you more than I have ever given anyone..ANYONE. -her voice raised.. as vest she could given the circumstances- You talk of it not being love.. but .. thats all I have.. I dont know what more I can give you.. Ive made so many mistakes.. Ive hurt you.. more than I think I could possibly even admit.. but I know I have.. and I dont know if I can even make up for it.. or if you should even give me the chance to.. Ill admit.. right now.. that I did.. yes I tried to take your attention away from Gia whenever you wanted to go down there.. or she requested we all go down there.. I knew.. deep down in my heart.. -her shoulders sunk.. this hurt.. this hurt to admit.. but she knew she had to.. -.. that she was better for you than I could ever be.. she's pretty special huh?.. she's so smart.. You are so smart.. as much as I want to be angry.. and upset I cant be.. not really.. Ive treated you like dirt.. It took me far to long to realise what I had done.. I hit rock bottom and I dragged you down with me.. even Diovan said as much.. I have only ever loved you..and your Brother.. I know I can love you and have done so.. but I am not perfect.. and I am sorry for the way I have treated you.. making you feel like an option instead of a priority.. you mean so much to me.. and I do love you.. but I wont hold you if your heart is not here.. I cant promise you it will be smooth or perfect.. but I am here.. if you'l choose me.. I love you with all the shattered pieces of my heart, and if thats not goo enough then please.. i beg of you.. dont drag this out.. let me go.. if I cant have your heart then you cant keep mine prisoner.. You dont get to have it all..

[Deleted]

-she had settled down to sit there beside his bed, back was straight.. knees drawn in together.. noble breeding to her very core.. her hands came down to rest there upon her lap.. but even with all this.. etiquette and deportment she still had a cheeky side.. talking about slumming it when she came to the surface.. his response was perfect and made her laugh.. giving a little shake of her head.. she waved her hand a little dismissively.. -.. I have people for that Thaylan.. -it was all dramatic.. and over done.. before her smile grew and she laughed a little more.. it was too easy to think you were better than everyone else.. that you could use them all as stepping stones.. when if you treated your foundation members right.. you would forever and ever be strong..they spoke a little about Gia then.. she on the worries she had for how her Mother was acting.. and how rattled she seemed to be... his choice in words put it in perspective for her.. in a way that made it easy for her to understand..-Im not going to pretend that I understand it all.. love is not something I have really given a lot of thought.. or.. attention.. but thankyou.. that gave me a mental picture.. one that I think has helped me to understand it a little more.. -she nodded-.. Though ill readilly admit.. I'm not ready for any of this.. -she shook her head-.. it looks frightening.. and heart breaking.. I see the good.. I do.. sometimes.. but I see so much of the bad.. -she exhaled.. it's a lot of what kept her away from guys in general.. she felt she was not near emotionally ready for any of it.. -.. I hope you are right though.. I hope this.. spider learns to become a better resident.. That.. or it vacates permanently.. I dont like seeing Mother cry..

-her brows drew inward.. she gripped the embroidered trim of her piwafwi a little tighter.. -..Rose and I are friends -she nodded a little- She is a wonderful woman.. with a very kind heart.. I need to discuss a few things with her and at Mothers request a position has been opened n our hopefully soon settled Navere Household as Matrons personal physician.. if she will accept.. , and then when I realised I had the chance I also just wanted to catch up.. it had been a while.. I wanted to check in and make sure all was well.. -she had made sure he was offered the pain medication.. Gia having recognised she had returned with it all without thinking.. leaving suddenly meant her head was not quite in the right place.. -.. mm.. I think we will leave tomorrow evening.. when the sun sets..it will give you a little longer to recuperate.. and it will give me the chance to catch up with Rose.. then we could head on to Silverthorn to collect Mother.. if she is finished with her negotiations.. -the conversation shifted.. and she owned up to knowing where he layed in the family.. that he was her uncle.. reaching for his hand.. to tap her fingers atop it.. when his shoulders dropped her smile broadened a little more.. her free hand rose to heart-.. I could never in good conscience hold anything against you for not being there when i was little.. or even when i was growing.. you couldn't be.. and I understand it.. wholly and completely.. -her smile was sympathetic-.. I recall all of that in my training.. what could have happened.. or.. no.. what would have happened if you didn't leave when you did.. I wouldn't be here.. I know that for a fact.. Nor would you.. -her fingers curled around his.. giving a gentle squeeze-.. and Mother.. if she'd have survived it would have been a lot worse off from it.. It would have hurt at the time.. but it was the only logical choice..

-her head inclined a little.. those blue tinted locks shifted.. spilling over her shoulder-.. It does not bother me no.. I care not of my lineage.. only that I have two parents who clearly adore one another.. the love I see between you.. is mind blowing.. its iconic..I look forward to you both becoming joined finally.. officially.. and we can all only go up from there.. so much to build.. strength to strength.. -her smile was bright and hopeful.. she was excited for all of this.. even with the dark cloud brewing in the background.. but she figured they could work things out.. somehow.. along the way.. he moved across to her.. his words were soft and sweet as he complimented her.. -.. lueth dos ilharn phu' folt natha gareth valyrin hearted nesst (and you Father are such a strong kind hearted man) -he settled in on that small stool and the two embraced.. she wrapped her arms around him so tightly.. her eyes closed.. and it just felt so right.. so warm.. comforting.. everything else just melted away.. she listened as he spoke about how he wanted to be the perfect husband to her Mother.. to support and love Gia.. but that Valkryn was in the way.. -. Family is lifes greatest blessing.. Iook forward to growing something special with you.. a girl will always.. always need her Father.. -she smiled-.. doesn't matter how old she gets.. so yes please.. I do want you there.. every step of the way..

-she squeezed him a little bit tighter before she pulled back a little-.. I do have something else.. that Mother told me to pass on to you.. -she reached down for her bag there and she pulled out those letters .. since the addresses were older and out of place most arrived with her.. she had read them with Gia.. and now she was passing them onto him-.. Its Chakas final Will .. -she nodded-.. I read them with Mother.. i think it takes away a lot of the clouds that would forever remain over Aunt Chakas death.. for perhaps.. even though there was so much hurt.. there was reasoning behind it all.. I am not excusing her behaviour.. and I would never.. Ever condone it.. especially with what happened to you Father.. and then of course to Mother.. give them a read.. -she nodded a little-.. Mother sent hers along also.. so you could read it.. she felt it was pertinent since it pertained to you also.. -she gave his hand a light squeeze-.. I am going to leave you now though.. to rest.. I will be down the hall for the night.. and not far away should you need me.. we have so much to catch up on.. and I look forward to it.. but you need to get better.. we need you strong for us..

[Deleted]

He had remained sleeping hidden within that pillow fort for an hour maybe two after she had left.. he woke up feeling quite good really.. calmed.. soothed.. and refreshed.. that day out did his soul good.. even with all that sugar filled food.. he stretched and rolled his shoulders.. noticing the note that had been left behind for him.. he shifted across on his belly to read it.. she was hiding away in the kitchen.. it caused a sleepy smile to creep its way across his features.. slowly he moved to his feet.. straightening those rather odd ripped jeans.. the shirt.. before he slipped his boots back on.. he collected the tray they had used for their evening snack and he moved back out of the library.. the hired help soon took it from him though.. heading on in to dismantle this.. fort of pillows.. something they found to be quite odd indeed.. peculiar but they'd never question a guest..

he slid his hands down into his pocket.. a Nurse approached.. one just finishing off the night shift.. filling him in on the fact that his Mother had woken.. and she was doing well..which drugs had been removed.. what had remained.. that she was currently in there with a gentleman.. lightly coloured hair.. he nodded.. figuring that to be Nautilous.. well that was something at least.. maybe those brothers had saw some sense in the end.. still.. knowing his Mother was awake certainly brightened his morning.. he had come to the doorway just as she was complaining about herself.. about how he might react to her being a lil miss shapen.. his arms crossed there against his chest as he leant at the door frame.. a smile there upon his lips-.. mm.. yes your body will change my love.. in a lot of ways.... -he gave a light shrug of his shoulders- and my love for you will only grow.. for that body.. -he would push away from the door frame then to come in to her.. his hands resting just lightly about her middle-.. will have grown so much love inside it.. Your body will go through so So many changes as pregnancy has its way with you.. -he smiled.. reaching up then to cradle her cheeks-.. but the biggest change will be the slow and incredibly beautiful transformation from being a woman.. to a mother.. and to me.. You will be stunning.. forever and always my angel..

-he leant in to brush his lips to her forehead-.. this is not something you should be worrying about.. talk with me.. if you need reassurance.. We walk this path together.. you will have to bare so much of this.. and I want to be able to help you.. at every turn I possibly can.. and if you need me to support you.. to hold you up.. I will.. always.. -he turned as he glanced around at just what she had been getting up to-.. Wow.. you have been busy.. -he looked down into the pot.. the bowl of fruit.. the buns in the oven.. -.. It smells SO good in here.. like.. Wow.. -his smile broadened as he moved to step out of her way.. leaning against the counter-.. do you need help with anything?.. I feel kind of useless just standing here.. -he held his hands up-.. Oh.. I got word that Sydel is awake -he smiled and nodded-.. One of the nurses caught me on the way over.. filled me in.. everything looks good so far.. pretty even.. her heart beat amazes me a little.. Ive had her on the table before.. in a similar position.. and its never been quite this strong.. bu.. its kind of wonderful.. Nautilous is in there now I believe.. -he picked up a glass of juice to take a small drink-.. Hopefully.. -hand to his heart and a prayer to his goddess-.. Hopefully everything will settle from here.. Do tell me.. what you have planned for today?

[BadInfluence]

Their words at the first were so familiar it was like slipping on a pair of old house slippers, intimate and comfortable, like the embrace of family... He knew she felt like dog shit at the best of times given the situation so he could understand, make a bit of time to try and explain to her what was up, why she couldn't walk or see terrifically well. He had asked her to be patient and yeah, her words were dead on, making his lips curl up into a bit of a smile because yeah... Him? Patient? When cows flew but the way things were going? He'd start to bring an umbrella for the random cow pie falling from above. "I know, very not like me but the last couple of days have been pretty sombering, made me take a different view of things." And that was true... Between seeing how badly he had failed her and then Gia in such short order, it was damned sombering indeed, more serious and dark than a funeral for him but... It had a purpose, didn't it? At her request he had gotten her a glass of water with a touch of honey, just to make it a little sweeter, to help sooth some of the rawness in her voice... He knew what it felt like to come back from death, everything hurts in a weird way, it feels like your throat has been sandblasted and your lungs put into the oven. Though all he could do right now? Was just try and help abate some of the symptoms... Some... But he could do very little in his current state.

"Yeah, Diovan didn't handle the occurrence well and I had to drag him outside, he laid into me pretty good." Mostly, or at least primarily, because he had chosen not to fight back. He had felt like utter hopelessness in those moments and didn't care that his brother was tearing into him, hell, he couldn't find the energy to even make himself breath let alone fight back. A few moments of silence before he would explain to her what was going on with Sybelle and he still hurt in that area, still mourned for the sweetheart who first gave him hope, who over the years had become a stalwart friend and occasional lover during the festivals... "You are a special woman Sydel... Sybelle is no different. She was a famed and respected Paramour and potion mistress, she was well loved by all who knew her, and she never once said a bad word about a single soul... She was a good woman, a better friend, and an amazing mother... Hanali is lucky to have her." And that was his little light in the dark void left when Sybelle moved on... The fact that she was now with Hanali and her little boy, able to do everything she could ever want to do, exist in a place where she could watch over her family and guide her loved ones onto paths of romance and joy... When she asked if she had held on long enough though... "We all did, yes, we got to say our goodbyes... You did so good sweetheart, really, you were perfect..." No one could have asked for more than what she had done in that room, putting herself on the line to the point of actual death, it was selfless and incredibly kind for a woman who had long been known to be colder than Death's tits in a steel bra...

"She looks a lot like Daetaru and you, a head of white hair and very fair skin, she hasn't opened her eyes yet so we don't know but they'll likely be blue for some time yet. She's beautiful and healthy and he is over the moon. They both are. Taru stepped into the role like she was meant to be her mother... It's a good thing you did Sydel... A very brave and selfless thing..." He told her then that Gia had left in the middle of the night last night though not why... And he wasn't sure if Gia and Sydel would ever... Get to that place again. He had tried to help them along, to offer an olive branch but all he had done was sow weeds and rocks in the soil between them, between all of them... He could feel her annoyance at how much she missed and he patted her hand gently, there was nothing to be done about it on that front, what was done could not be undone on any front. She asked about the babies then and he explained it as... Best he could but when she broke down he got up from his stool and sat on the side of the bed and pulled her into his arms and just held her, rocking her as she broke down, he knew that pain too... But Gia had been there to hold him when he broke, to sooth his breaking heart and wipe his tears, to help him keep it together... And he was going to try and do the same for Sydel, just rocking her as he kissed the top of her head, silent and strong for her when she needed it. "You didn't fail at anything Princess. Please, don't see it that way, that's not what happened and it's no ones fault." He said softly, watching the monitor go a bit nuts, knowing it was taking a tole and he tried to calm her, catching her tears on his fingers as he continued to rock her. "I'm the one that's sorry... I always pushed you and made you feel like it was a necessity to have children with me, knowing your fears and your traumas but pushing ahead with it anyways, I was selfish and cruel... A child screaming for something that I didn't even need." The truth hurt... Who ever said it would set you free was a gods damned liar and a maniac. All the truth did was hurt people and there was no damned way that wasn't the truth in all things.

"Diovan's baby... Hanali caught him before he passed so that when Sybelle passed over she had her son with her, don't mourn sweetheart, it's not all a sad story... Just a little part here and there, that's all..." It wasn't much... But it was something. He went on and told her then about the biggest weight on his soul, the events that lead up to him and Gia, the events that spiraled out after a kiss... He tried to keep it simple, no details or fleur de lis, just a very plain account of the unfolding story... No lies, it was all facts, down to his feelings and his actions... The conception of a child and his love for Gia and how hard he had fallen for her. "Love isn't a competition Sydel... That's something I had to learn all too hard recently... If it is? Then it's not love, not really, it's just a farce..." Like... How he felt he always had to compete against Diovan for her love and her affection, the ways she treated his brother were always kinder, more loving than what she showed him and it had always eaten away at him like a slow dripping of acid... Carving deep channels into his heart and soul where things began to chip off and fall away leaving him less and less of a man... More like a puppet... Acting out the scenes around him. "What we have isn't healthy... It never was... One day we're good and it's sunshine and healthy, the next we're hurting each other without realizing it, then another still we're covering ourselves with lies and calling it mercy..." He said, sliding off the bed but he'd keep his hands over hers, holding them close and warm in his... Noticing just how warm hers were now as well... No longer chilly and marble like she had a pulse, she was warm, she had a scent that was not death and blood... "Gia is amazing and I love her, she's good for me in so many ways, she helps me see my flaws but doesn't make them seem that way... She special, warm and funny, brilliant and incredibly strong..." He had seen so much about her in the span of little over a day that he loved, so much more too that he had yet to see, that he wanted to learn. "I love you Sydel, but I can't do this thing with you and Diovan anymore, not the way it has been. He's an acid in my veins, he kills me slowly, rotting me from the inside out and he makes me feel like a person I never want to be." He said softly before he'd gently shake his head and let out a heavy breath. "I hate him and I don't know if I can ever let that go. I hate the fact he held your heart first and last, that no matter how long we have together, he will always have more. He holds the lion share of your heart Sydel, that's just a fact and I hate it, it makes me sick."

These were facts he had been hiding or lying about for years now. He absolutely boiled every time he saw his brother touch her, kiss her, fuck her... It had him clawing away at the inside of his mind while on the outside he played off that he was totally unbothered by it, even encouraging it because he knew it made her happy... But at such a steep fucking cost to himself. "We both hurt each other Sydel, there's no point in keeping tabs or tally's, the list goes on far too long. The fact is I'm damaged goods and I'm no good to anyone right now and I don't know if I ever can be again." He'd gently give her hand a squeeze and he was silent for several moments before he got it in him to speak again, all of this was so heavy, so sad... Deep and dark... Full of terrors and harsh realities... "I think it's best if you and Diovan... Try to pick up where you left off in your past... To give yourselves the chance to do what was meant for you before I ruined it. I saw the ring on his hand, I know you proposed and I know marriage is what you want with him, and I give you my blessings for what they are worth..." He was struggling... This hurt so fucking bad... Gods it burned like liquid lead through his veins and it was taking nearly all he had in order to just keep going. "Right now... I need to leave... I need to go out on my own and figure out... Who I am supposed to be. I don't know who I am anymore and... I don't think I ever gave myself a chance to find out... At first I was the bordello boy, then I was your lover, your mad prince and your bloody knight... I became a father and a husband, a friend and a guardian, but... No where in any of that... Did I find out... Who I am..." And it was the truth, he went from role to roll like a professional actor, portraying exactly what he was supposed to be... But never once did he take on the performance of Nautilous... Never once did he look into a mirror or into himself and ask... Who was he? Who did he want to be? To become? Where did he want to go? Where did he see himself in this life? Never once had he asked a single question of introspection or self care... Yes... Yes he was guilty of letting others treat him like shit... But he was even guiltier of treating himself even worse though sheer neglect...

"I love you... I love Jacob... I love Gia... But I can't be with any of you, I am not good for anyone, and right now... All I'm doing is sowing chaos and discord in my wake and calling it compassion. It's time I grew up and stopped dragging everyone down with me." He was cutting ties with Everyone right now, he needed to find himself before he could even think of finding someone else, let alone loving anyone in a healthy manner. He also had the trials of Lolth to get through if he survived them, there was fifteen in all and that was no small number, especially given seven of them were the Gauntlets of each great house... He knew he wasn't intended to survive these, each trial was harder than the last, each one meant to kill him for his trespassing into the domain of Drow souls and stealing them from the dark Goddess... It was better if no one know what he was doing, if he could just leave and help everyone else onto a path without him then he could go and die if that was what it came to, but he just wanted to know he could go and not leave a trail of tears in his wake. "Just... Be happy Sydel... If Hanali wishes it we might cross paths again when I am better... When I am whole... We might fall in love all over again and start a family without the sadness that haunts us... I am not asking for a divorce but if that is what you wish I will give it to you... But for right now...I just really want you to try and live the life you were meant to with Diovan..."

[BadInfluence]

She could have DIED.

A flush starting at the roots of her hair and sunk all the way down to her chest turned her quite the bright shade of red, even her ears were tinted that ruby hue and she instantly dropped to her knees and hide behind the counter, tossing the bundled up bit of cloths and aprons to the side, hand in her hair as she literally could not recall a more suddenly mortifying moment in her LIFE. It was supposed to be private! She was just... You know... Exploring things... Thinking out loud... Things every woman does when she starts to think about taking that next step into womanhood, the transition from being a lady to a mother, there's always these big batches of... Concern... But this? Getting caught in the middle? Oh she was utterly humiliated and she had gone to pull a duck and run, no where near ready to handling getting busted playing make believe dress up, she just wanted to hide and let a day or three hundred and sixty five fly by before she'd come out again but alas... On her way out? He caught her in his arms right around her middle, his words were warm and soft but oh she was still so very pink, refusing to lift her head even as he cradled her cheeks.

She didn't even say anything for several long minutes, she couldn't even look up from her ducked position, let alone look him in the face. She would stay that way for some several very long minutes before she actually muttered something... More of a mumble... Her hands knotting in the hem of her dress as she looked to the sides or down to her bare feet but never up. "You weren't supposed to see that... no one was..." Yep... Busted playing make-believe was the most humiliating moment in her entire life. Worse still too was the fact that the person who caught her was the very one she was worried about loosing interest in her, especially if her body changed a lot, if she got fat or saggy... She was already short as it was so she wasn't going to be able to handle much weight gracefully, and if she showed big then she'd look like a jaw breaker on a string and she couldn't imagine anyone finding that cute, let alone attractive... She was incredibly glad when he changed the topic to breakfast and she nodded her head, stepping to the side to get back up onto that stool so she could reach the counters properly, a mortar and pedestal in her hand as she was crushing up honey grahams to put on top of their breakfast. "If you could take the buns out of the oven for me? It's a bit tricky for me at my height, bloody door is bigger than I am, just mind the metal ok? I don't want you to get burned." She said as she kept crushing the sweet crackers until they were a size she was pleased with, pouring the clotted cream onto the berries before adding the garnish on top with just a sprig of mint in each one. Once the buns were out of the oven she would brush a mix of butter and egg whites over the top so that while they were still hot the butter would sink in and keep the break moist and flavorful, the egg whites giving a lovely glossy sheen to the tops. Over all it was a simple but tasty breakfast, nothing too heavy or rich, the perfect morning food after a night of very heavy carnival food.

Lifting the bowls she'd bring them over to the little breakfast nook with the large sunny window overlooking the grounds, the sun was starting to come up fully now, promising another beautiful day. "I'm worried about her honestly..." She said as she took a spoon full of fruit and cream before she'd settle back a bit, chewing slowly and quietly before she'd swallow, tearing chunks of her bread off to dip into the cream. "When Sybelle died it's like her whole system underwent a shock, not too different I think than what I went through, in which case there are going to be a LOT of changes in store for her..." She remembered how weird it was for her to come out, the new voices in her head, the strange sense of being in her body but out of it at the same time... Something that had only just started to fade so she could settle a little more comfortably into her own skin once more. "I don't really think she is the same but only she can tell us what if anything has changed... I'm surprised she woke up, she should have remained down and healing for a week at least, there's a lot here that's very odd..." But... Like him? She prayed to Hanali and to God that it would be ok, that Sydel was still their Sydel, that what ever changes were all positive.

When he asked if she had any plans she shook her head lightly. "Not much really. Anya has come up, she said she needed to talk to me and something about a position becoming available which I find really interesting, I'm curious to see what she is up to and catch up a little bit. Outside of that I am all yours unless a medical need comes up." Which she hoped wouldn't. She might not have plans but that didn't mean there weren't a few things she wanted to try... Like naked sun bathing on the lake... Or skinny dipping. Perhaps finding a tree with a nice forked branch and reading in it for a while... Maybe she'd draw or paint? There was a lot she could do on a day as beautiful as this but nothing was set in stone or planned. She would just... Wing it. "And you my love? What does my handsome fiance have in store for the day? Any plans yourself?" She'd ask as they ate, her hand idly dropping down to her belly, these little flashes in her eyes... Wondering why she'd not felt anything and why now, of all times, she felt like she wasn't conceiving... Despite the fact that she was quite open to it right now... Was perhaps the potion still lasting? If so then she might just be up the creek for another month if they wanted to try...

[BadInfluence]

"As a Priestess of the Navare family should!" He said with a warm laugh and he knew she had a bit of his sense of humor as well as her mothers, though a touch more on his side as he watched her and her hand motions, the way she laughed... Perhaps there was some of him in her after all, given how very much she took after her mother in voice and form, their beauty for them both would outlast many and more. The conversation turned to her concern for her mother, how shaken it made her feel to see such a polar of strength hurting, to be unsure... He could understand how shocking that must be and he wanted her to try and understand it from perhaps a bit more of an outside looking in perspective, something a touch more out of the box, removed but clear sighted... Her words were weighted, he knew she was speaking honestly but carefully, a woman who knew the area she spoke of was out of her complete grasp, a very wise and cautious way to proceed but... He hoped she might one day understand she need not hold such reserves around him, he was far more relaxed, more comfortable than her mother in that way. His position was not as terse or pressured so he was able to be someone she could let her hair down with a bit. Nodding his head he knew how she felt, at least in part and just smiled, oh how good a job her mother had done for her... Sheltering her just enough to allow her to keep this innocence but not be naive or foolish... "The world is full of equal parts good and bad, just like night and day, there is a balance... This spider loves your mother very much, he is just young and new to the ways of love, and as such he thrashes around a touch and makes a bit of a mess but... I feel, personally, that he will settle soon and become the spider that your mother very much loves in return. But for now... Well, sadly, there is no avoiding these... Growing pains, we will call them." He had hope that Nautilous would pull his head out of his ass and stop wearing it like a hat and grow up because there was so much he was missing out on, so much he was going to risk losing forever if he didn't, and not just him... But how many other people would miss out on things, on life and love, a healthy emotional existence... For all he supported his family he was less a bedrock and more a crutch and at this point their legs were weakening, becoming riddled with dystrophy, and unless he left soon? Many in that family would fail to ever walk on their own again.

Asking about Rose made him smile though, seeing as she pulled her cloak a bit tighter, the facial expressions crossing her features. "Indeed?" He'd ask before he'd gently press his finger between her brows where they drew in over her nose, gently letting her know she was frowning, well of a sort. "Then why such a perplexing emotion? She speaks very highly of you." From what he had gathered at least. Though he'd never let on he knew Rose in an extremely intimate fashion, that was his luscious little secret, a pretty stone to roll and polish in his mind when he felt like it. Right now he was more so curious as to the reason his daughters expression took on such a state. "I think that is an exceptionally fine idea, Rose is incredibly skilled as is her fiance, the two of them have a fascination in drow flora and fauna... Perhaps your mother might be in luck and get a package deal." It was something that might happen, or it might not, though he had a feeling Rose would be more than happy to take up the position. It was a once in a lifetime chance and such a position had likely never been offered to a pale skin so it was quite the honor to even be offered.

Pain medication offered and taken gratefully they talked about when she might wish to leave, he was ready to go as soon as she was after all, his things had been packed and he had said his goodbyes of sorts... But if Sydel were awake then he would like to speak with her too, to see where his friend stood for while his beloved had fallen in love with her husband, he hoped that she would not hold that bearing on him no more than he would hold such things against her. "That sounds ideal. I hope your mother is able to enjoy herself there, there are many delights in Silverthorn to be had, if one knows where to look." Would Gia know of Splinter? He hoped so because she would do well to let off some excess steam there, possibly the healthiest place for her to let go for now, at least until they were all reunited once more. He had asked, as things went on if she might not hold the actions of the past against him, things out of his control that he would have done anything to change if it were possible... He wanted so much to have been there for her, to see her grow both in the womb and out of it, to help her take those first steps towards her mother or the adorable mess one makes when sampling roasted crickets in honey for the first time... "I am so glad that you can do so, it is not an easy thing to grow up without a father, but I am here now, In all things my little spider." He said warmly as they spoke, falling into a very easy conversation together, but he did need to know...If the fact that her mother and father were siblings bothered her, after all it was one thing for he and Gia to be completely content in their shared blood, but something else entirely for a child. She wasn't phased by it at all though and it just warmed his heart, helped him feel so much more at peace, secure in the world and his place in it just that much more. "I loved your mother since we were children and the love only grew, shifted as we aged and became more intense, but it has never wavered and it never will. Once we marry and I can be the proper Companion for her we shall help rebuild the Navere house to the glories it belongs... Blood to Blood, Strength to Strength, Web to Web."

He'd rose to take a seat on the stool where the two embraced and the hug was warm and perfect, father to daughter as that link was finally acknowledged and given light, his heart so happy to finally be able to take that place in her life at long last. His words to her in Drow were returned by some of her own that made him laugh just a touch with tears in his eyes as he wiped them away with a smile, kissing her cheeks softly before moving to her forehead, brushing a few bits of that soft blue hair out of the way. "You are the pride of our life Anya... Everything that we love and adore and is good about us in represented in you." He said lovingly before they hugged again a little tighter and he couldn't help the smile that came to his face. "Well I am here to be your father for all the years of my life Anya, every single step of the way." That was a fact, he would always be with her from now on, support and love her in all the ways a father should and could.

With that said though she had a little something else to him, Chaka's wills no less and the shock showed on his face, the pain suddenly hitting him full force though this was far more in his mind, the agony of a phantom pain versus something real... Chaka had hurt him deeply, mentally and physically he'd bear the scars of that torture, but the woman who had done that to him? Could not have written these letters... As such he paused and nodded his head, kissing her cheek as she would go to take her rest, patting her hand lightly. "I will rest very soon my little fungus, do go and rest, the trip is not easy nor small from home to here. If you need me, the same goes sweet one, call on me as well." And with that he would send her off to find her bed for the night while he read over the notes, recording them in his mask as what was said and what had been done did not mesh, but if she were truly becoming a Dryder... Then as such it made sense for the path that way was madness and pain that never ended...

He had to wonder if Chaka had wondered or even been able to see the future in some way, to tie Nautilous in so neatly into this entire event, to ensure that he could not be kept away from them or that Gia could not push him aside... Was this healthy? Was this wise? There was so much here to pass on, so much information and shocking revelations, a world of changes all held on something as simple as a paper... Not only were the surprises plentiful for his sister and her love, but also for himself as well, papers for him to look over and forge his own birth certificate so that he and Gia might be seen as cousins versus siblings... A much more amicable and acceptable form of marriage relation than what they currently had... It was all so neat... So tidy... Done with a warm and loving hand...

Well all but for Nautilous which, as he read it, seemed to explain that he had been under a spell of his own with her... Was that... Perhaps... What had caused the... Well... Inability to chose? Was his difficulty in love born by such a spell? A curse from a woman scorned more than once? It was possible... Drow magic was dark and old, older than the caves in which they lived under and as such no one mage or sorcerer knew every type there was, each region had it's own unique spellus and this... Well this could be the very thing... Or it might not...But it would bear some closer scrutiny... He would ensure it was sent to him as soon as the man could be caught, for while he and Ayna could leave tomorrow, they might be leaving with someone else in tow... There was... So much to ponder and think on, so many questions, so many riddles... Naturally he called upon his god and the two of them would enter very deep, very long running conversations into the night until he could not stay up any longer, the drugs and fatigue wearing on him until he could fight it back no longer.

Before he fell asleep though he would write a letter to Gia, sent along via spider through the web ways where it would find her quickly, delivering it in privacy as such a thing was deeply personal and not meant for just anyone's eyes...



My Sweetest Sister,

I am aching without you near me and I miss you more than I need to breathe... I wish I could be there with you, to help you in this endeavor with Silverthorn but I understand the need to breathe, to find a space in which to ground yourself again. However, I feel it pressing, if not vital that you are aware of what lay ahead for us...

Chaka, in her last will and testament, has left our Nautilous in control of the properties and revenue of our mothers estate... This means he knows not only where our mothers house is, but all the lands, the treasures and family histories as well... He holds the key to us being able to Rebuild the Navere house back to what it should be once again... Imagine, sweet sister, that we might once more have all the treasures that belong to mother... Her tapestries and paintings, the formal spider dining set that we used to watch be set out for parties, her jewelry and all the royal statement pieces... We can once more have our mother near us in some small way, and more than that, we can raise our children in the home we ourselves grew up in... Can you imagine it?

I know that...Things have not gone well this last day but I have it on good authority that Nautilous has chosen to leave Sydel and venture out on his own... He has taken your advice, your words to heart and I feel that perhaps... All is not as lost as we once feared it might be. I do not ask you to forgive the pain he caused you no matter how unintentionally... But I do ask that we take him and the help he has to offer, to bring him with us to find out home again and settle, and... If your heart is still bruised and if he is still naive... Then we will cut ties there and then forever more... But... Do not close that door yet, my sweet sister, let us see what we may yet find... And... If not entirely for us... Then for the child resting in your belly that you two created together... Anya was denied her father because of someone else actions... Let us not do the same for this small one yet growing...

If I have pushed too far, do please ignore me sweet sister, for I write this quite tired and ready for bed as the drugs flow through my system to ease my pain. I thank you for sending them along and I look forward to seeing you again soon. I miss you, always, my love...

Your Fiance,
Thaylan Auvryda...

ps- This is the name I will go by from now on, it was one of our grandmothers sons names who went on to have sons of his own, making me the 'third' generation and far enough removed from you to be allowed even in the strictest of circles... I can not wait to marry you Gia... I miss you...

[Deleted]

She had crumbled there upon that hospital bed.. shuddering and shaking there as he settled in beside her.. she clung to him.. to his shirt as if her very life depended upon it.. the tears just flowed down her cheeks.. she really wanted that child.. and if she were honest.. more than any of the others.. this one.. was going to be the one to heal her.. it happened after such a horrific event.. when he had cradled her.. when he had broken down before her.. his fear of not being able to help her.. brought them closer didn't it?.. but no.. she lost her little girl.. again.. another name to add to the handful that was growing as the years pushed on.. her fear and worry when it came to pregnancy was turning into terror.. into a pure phobia.. she was not to be a Mother.. it never.. ever worked out .. she missed all of Jacob..she screwed up Aysil.. she didn't deserve children.. it was becoming all to clear..

his words were kind when he tried in vain to calm her.. the monitor let him know just how much he was failing at it.. her heart was all over the place..the loss too of Diovans child struck her deeply.. too much loss.. too much had gone wrong.. what could she have done differently.. she should have done better.. this was on her.. but then he hit her with a secondary backhand.. Gia.. he had fallen for her lover.. and hard it seemed.. her heart sank so deeply in her chest she had to take a breath to kick start it.. Gia had always been perfect.. she was soft and loving.. caring and compassionate.. she was funny and so intelligent.. she was beautiful.. Gia had the upbringing that laid that perfect foundation.. something that she never got.. so she knew.. deep down that if they had met.. that something like this would happen.. they were intellectual equals.. so she understood it.. when he laid it all out on the table.. it stung.. it fucking hurt.. but.. there was an echo there.. a voice in the back of her mind.. 'i knew it'.. she wasn't good enough.. she was never good enough..

she tried so hard.. So hard to do everything right but she just kept fucking everything up.. she swallowed hard when he spoke about how amazing Gia was.. that she was so good for him.. special, warm, funny, brilliant.. strong.. each description of this woman she knew.. struck her like a knife.. again and again and again.. she fell silent.. looking down at her hands as he contined to speak.. to get it all out.. his apparent love for her.. but that he couldn't love her like this.. that he hated his brother.. though he was so wrong about Diovan holding the lions share.. so wrong.. and she had told him this.. so many times before.. but what did it matter now?..When he said he knew what was best.. she blinked-.. No.. -her voice crackled-.. Its whats best for you.. Dont sit here.. and tell me what I should be doing when you arent even sure on what it is you should be doing.. I proposed marriage because You wanted us all together.. You had said that all along.. You had gone to the goddess to arrange it.. remember?.. Or no maybe im just getting things wrong.. -she knew she wasn't.. he had organised it.. he had brought it up so many times.. Diovan had gone out of his way to help Rose and Jacob and gotten into strife because of it.. she sent him the ring because he had shown her So much in that moment.. more than he had in a long time.. he had shown her conviction and honour.. she turned his hand.. glancing down at this black ring.. this new piece of jewellery he wore before she pulled her hands back to put them to her head.. he was going to leave.. to find himself..that he couldnt be with any of them.. that he desired for her happiness.. and hey.. maybe sometime in the future they might reconcile.. she shook her head.. in that moment he had closed the door.. but left the window open just enough so that she was becoming an option.. she took a breath.. lettng silence fall between them for a little while..-.. I think we were meant to be.. -her voice trembled-.. but we did it wrong.. -her fingers curled in against her forehead a little tighter-.. You had my whole heart.. you kinda always did.. but Im letting you go.. -she swallowed-.. so.. you can be free.. -she forced out a breath-.. Goodbye Nautilous.. ..please.. just go.. -she shook her head as she sunk down a little more into those covers.. turning onto her side to face the wall as her lids closed over.. that lantern light that he had lit for her flickered before it went out.. letting the room fall into its semi darkened state-