To Bells

[BadInfluence]

- A Letter from Nautilous to Sybelle, sealed atop a rather large box, sent over from Silverthorne-


My Dearest Sybelle,

I told you once, some time ago, that I was a bad person… You believed with your beautiful, innocent, stalwart determination that I wasn’t what I said I was… You believed in me when no one else did… I don’t know what happened to us… What caused the rift to spread that I thought we were mending… But you have every right to be mad at me… I didn’t handle the situation with Aysil… At all well… I yelled at you, when all you did was help her, to do what was right for her… I didn’t think… I just reacted…

I’m sorry Bells… I did everything wrong… Most of all I hurt you… When that was the last thing I wanted to do…

I can’t take back what I wrote… Or the pain you felt from it… I can’t think of a way to make up for all the mistakes I’ve made… And Gods know I made a LOT of them…

I only hope that Hanali will show you how much I love you… I never stopped… And I pray to her that you know that… And that she helps sooth the hurt I left in your heart…

I know you aren’t the person won over with gifts but… Please accept this… I thought of you when I saw it and with Samhain around the corner… And… If you have a little girl… The lace can be made into dress for her… If you have a little boy then a dress for you…

And…

Please… Give my love to Our Son Aylan…

I miss you both…

-Nautilous…

PS- There is a new pipe for my brother as well, I don't know if he is still smoking or not, so it might not be of use but... I had no idea what else to get him...


-Within the box would be the following gifts-

[Deleted]

Nautilous,

To begin with, let me say thank you for the gift, they were unnecessary naturally but none the less very beautiful.

It is not customary for me to talk through letters when the option of speaking face to face is there, I figured you would have returned by now in some capacity but it would seem that I was wrong. So I will discuss this with you through this medium.

You seem to fail to understand what it is you have done, and I sit here quite astounded really, as I always figured you to be quite an intelligent gentleman. 

We have struggled for a while.. had our ups and quite a few downs.. we found a middle ground there for a little while. and I was extremley hesitant to act on what I was feeling as I had this horrible thought in the back of my mind that.. something was going to go wrong..and it did, and I felt incredibly used. 

You want to know why I am upset?.. why I haven't returned to my store since?, why I have handed over ownership to another couple to start up a florist?.. Why I have been kicking myself at my own stupidity?.. Why I have been questioning my trustworthy nature?.. and why I feel utterly and horribly embarrassed?

Because of you, our actions in that store.. that afternoon were one thing.. but to hear that You knew Diovan was going to be arriving in the area around that time, to know that you did this.. to hurt him.. and in turn.. used me to your own ends.. just about killed me.. 

How could you do that to me? After all we have been through?  I struggled to comprehend why you left me, and it took me some time to come to the realization that it was for my own good.. even though I am still quite stunned that everyone else around me seems to know whats better for me than I myself do.. but that's besides the point. In the end yes.. Diovan is where I need to be.. so for all the hurt I went through whilst I was pregnant with Aylan.. in the end..it worked out.. it had a purpose.. a reason.. it made sense..

Please tell me, how you humiliating me like that.. and hurting your brother.. works out in the end? Help me to understand?  Afterall I recall one of our conversations.. there at the table in that restaurant.. you yourself said.. no one would Ever have to know.. had you planned it all along?.. so I would be caught out?.. 

Diovan admitted that he had slept with Sydel and that she could give him something that I could not.. upon reflection I can see that yes, Sydel is a lot stronger than I am in so very many ways, I dont have those streaks in me, what you see is what you get. 

The incident with Aysil was.. simply icing on the cake.. you are her Father.. Sydel is her Mother.. I really and truly can lay no claim to her.. she and I may well share some genetics.. but thats pretty much where it ends.. I will be her friend.. I will help her out if she requests it.. but I will leave the parenting to you and Sydel. You have her best interests at heart.

I trust everything is going well in Silverthorn

-S

[BadInfluence]

Sybelle,

I have no idea, from the bottom of my soul, about what you are talking about.

With all the corruption that was in Silverthorn during Tirithon’s reign, Ace made me an official member of the royal court, I am his Chancellor. Together we are removing every last trace of Tirithon’s evil, every man that performed anything from rape to murder has been sent to the Rift, exiled from Arvandor. There is a lot of work to be done, a lot of wrongs to be made right, and Ace asked me to help… I didn’t want our grandchildren to be here with all that rot around them…

If I could, I would prefer to talk this over in person as well, since apparently something has gone very, very wrong… I’m a bit out at sea to all of this, to be frank and I find it all disturbing that not only did you wait this long to tell me, but that you allowed it to get to this point… No… That’s not quite right… That We let it get to this point… I can’t not take a part of this, even if I knew nothing about it, it is quite apparently that I have a hand in it regardless…

Let me ask you, brutally honest, just who told you that lie? You are assuming I did something that I did not do. I didn’t even know he was there… All I knew was that I wanted to see you… I needed to see you Bells… Do you think I could honestly do something so heartless? To make love to you on that table like that, to try for another child, and then just… Do it to toy with you? I realize I haven’t been the best person… But I have always been honest with you. If I were going to use you like that, I wouldn’t have brought children into it, I wouldn’t have done it with ]our son[ Aylan in the store… Pia and Aysil as well… I might be guilty of a very black list of sins, but I have never, ever brought innocent children into any of my schemes. Ever.

I had no idea that Diovan was even there, let alone that he would have caught us, why would I want to ruin my chances with you? Where does that make any sense? Despite everything, I never said I didn’t love you Sybelle, why would I try to break your heart?

I didn’t know about Diovan at all… I do know Sydel caught us... What you don’t know is how she tried to kill herself over it. It’s why I didn’t go back to see you, to talk to you, to support you… I could not leave her alone… I didn’t dare… She was trying to kill herself so I could be with you… She knows I love you… And when she heard us… How I… How we wanted to have another baby… It hurt her… Deeply…

Obviously… I didn’t plan it out… As I hope you now know…

I don’t know who lied to you… I don’t know who told you that but it’s not true Sybelle… I didn’t know he was there, no more than I knew Sydel was, not until it was all too late… Far too late…

She and I… We… We all need to get together Sybelle… You and Diovan, Sydel and I, we need to hash… All this out… No more sleeping about behind closed doors… No more lies…. The fact is that I know Sydel loves Diovan, for the history you both share with him, for what he was to you… What he IS to you both… And She knows I love you, for everything that you are, for the love… You once had for me… How you loved me more than I could ever deserve… You were the light that showed me… Maybe I was worth something…

The fact is… We all love each other. Period… It’s that simple… I don’t see why we don’t just… Go as Ace and Jacob and Rose are…

Our children are one blood, one family… We are… Related and I just… Don’t see the point in trying to pretend that we aren’t all interlinked… If they can do it and be as happy as they are… Then so can we… We just… Got to get all this… Garbage out… To get down to the bare bones of it…

If… We can…

I hate seeing you say that about Aysil… I do… But I can’t make you change your mind… I just… Have to accept it…

Things in Silverthorne are well, the wedding was beautiful, Rose was a stunning bride… Ace legitimized all the children too, Jacob and his both are the Prince’s and Princess’s of Silverthorn now, and Pia is over the moon about it… She misses you though… So does Rose… Jacob is doing well, we’ve been talking a bit, and I’ve asked him to help me out with a few things… Things I will tell you about… If you would just let me talk to you face to face… Please…


-Naut

[Deleted]

Nautilous,

Someone is lying to me then, it's either you or Diovan, and that in of itself is very disconcerting.

If it is Diovan, then please accept my apology I should never have assumed, it's not something I have done in the past, it's new to me and yet lately with everything going on I have felt disconnected. Rose was the first to tell me that I am too trusting, and that I need to work on that.

I suppose that yes, this should be discussed in person, I will leave that ball in your court, you have that power.

-S

[BadInfluence]

Sybelle,

Rose has your best intentions at heart… She does that for everyone around her, but you I think, most of all… She adores you, and I think if not for Ace and Jacob, she would have gladly married you and protected you all her day… Though, grateful am I that she did not, for I would have precious little chance of your heart if she did. Little Lioness that she is… Plus we wouldn’t have so many beautiful children in our lives… Attached to this letter is a small drawing of Pia in her princess crown, which no amount of coaxing on earth can get her to part with it, which everyone finds utterly enchanting… I fear she will be quite spoilt.

With that happier note aside… What worries me… Is who might be lying to all of us… I have no shortage of enemies Sybelle, I have never been the most well liked person, and I never will be. I fear that… There may be others involved in this, seeking to cause discord, and with personal reasons…

However, I can swear to you Sybelle, that I did not plan anything… I would have never, ever jeopardized our arrangement, especially when it was something I very much cherished and valued.

I am unable to leave yet, and I might not be able to for some time, so I ask… Are you able to travel? I understand that you are half way through your pregnancy now, but with only one child, I hope it would not too burdensome… Perhaps if we can get a hold of Diovan we can all sit down and…. Talk… Together… All of us…

I hope… You know this Sybelle but… I do love you. I always have… I hope that… No matter what… That is something you do not doubt.


-N

[Deleted]

Nautilous,

I will travel when able, notice will be sent upon my arrival.

-S