Farewell - Aeson Koehler

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.. he had been given quite a head start, having ducked out when everyone was given the sleeping drugs from Gia.. he missed that dose.. deciding instead to do a little letter writing.. cowardice perhaps.. but he felt.. this was the only way.. Having caught up with nautilous for a moment or two in the morning.. he left him with a few notes.. Rose and Jacob,Sydel,  There was also one for Diovan.. and then one for Nautilous.. though his would have been left in his chambers.. wether or not he went back there.. well that was something else entirely.. 

Nautilous



First of all, thankyou for doing this for me, I appreciate it more than you could ever know. This isn't so much goodbye as its .. Ill catch you soon.. somewhere.. sometime along the line. Silverthorne thanks you for your service, your position will forever remain open for you, should you be up that way.. Remember that.

I've watched you.. on and off for a time, here and there..I class you as a pretty good friend.. a good mate.. someone I can rely on for complete and utter honesty and I am positive you would expect the same from me..

You look like you're drowning man.. I dont know whats going on in your life.. but something is not quite right.. you're a weaker.. paler.. light weight version of yourself.. and hey maybe thats what you want to be.. and if so thats cool.. I get it.. but if not.. well..

The more chances you give someone the less respect they will start to have for you. They'll begin to ignore the standards you have set because they'll know another chance will always be given. They're not afraid to lose you because they know no matter what you wont walk away. So they get comfortable with depending on your forgiveness. .. I dont know dude.. just some food for thought.. Never let a person.. Never let ANYONE get comfortable disrespecting you..You're worth so much more than that

But anyway.. a little gift to you.. I have done some negotiating with Hanali, you've been broken free of your bindings.. you deserve to have a life.. a proper.. long life without worrying about the holds of some sex starved goddess. So live that life Nautilous.. Do what you want to do..

Ill catch you sometime soon

-Aeson



Diovan

I wont deny it, we had a pretty rocky start.. but things evened out.. as they always do.. Im heading off.. back home, I cant be here.. with how everything is working out. Its not fair on Rose.. or young Jacob.. and in the end.. its not fair on me. And there is nothing worse than living a lie. I wish you all the happiness in the world, Its time to take life by the balls and lead it.. You've carried enough on your shoulders to have built up quite a bit of muscle there.. So work hard and give it all you've got.. You will find more success than you had ever thought possible.

And hey.. dont let that younger brother of yours lead you down a merry path.. You deserve just as much happiness and fulfilment..

Come see me.. sometime..

-Aeson



Sydel


I wanted to thankyou, personally for the talk we had.. but you ended up in a really dark place and I didn't want to disturb you.. I dont know whats happening in your life right now.. I wish I could help but I fear I would probably only make it worse. I just want you to know this.. We all make mistakes and sometimes there is just no way to go back and fix them. But we can move forward wiser and more in control of our own lives. You have a chance..to turn it all around if you want to.. it all comes down to choice.. What do you want to do Sydel?.. Do you want to keep going in the same direction?.. or perhaps go left.. maybe right?..

Dont let those brothers bring you down.. You've already hit rock bottom.. you can only go up from here.. Dont let Anyone put you back down in that darkness..

One bad chapter doesn't mean your story is over.

Remember that

-Aeson

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Rose


I've written and re-written this about a hundred times and ill probably re-write this one too.. For someone who talks too much quite often I am struggling to find the right way to articulate how I feel.. so please forgive me if this comes out a little disjointed.. or a touch off colour.

I am sorry, I can't do this..anymore.. I cant be what you need me to be. I made you promises that I will not be able to keep and its killing me that I have then lied to you because of that.


You opened your heart to me and told me what you needed, and whilst I would never begrudge you of any of it.. it's just.. it's not me Rose.. You wanted me to be open and honest, to be softer with you and show you whats underneath all my layers and I did.. I broke down those walls...I let you in..and I was happy.. I thought you were too.. We spent some beautiful nights together.. just you and I.. we learnt a lot..but then it changed.. and you needed more.. you did a 360 on me over night and suddenly you desired that playboy.. the man I was before..and I just.. I cant.. Im sorry..


You deserve someone who can give you everything you need, You deserve to be with somebody who makes you happy, Somebody who doesn't complicate your life..


This is me accepting that sometimes beautiful things end, this is me understanding that there is nothing I can say or do to fix that. This is me coming to terms with the fact that sometimes leaving is an act of love, too. That sometimes you have to walk away from something soft and hauntingly real, that sometimes hearts just dont align.


I want to be in your life, but I dont deserve to be..


Im sorry Rose.. please forgive me..


Aeson